Why people get so angry when I mention TMS?

What’a been your experience? I wanna share my TMS journey with others but people around me call me crazy…

 

I don't do it anymore. I did it in the past with two people. One is my mom and another one is an elderly lady (retired MD). Apparently they were receptive initially but then turned out to be skeptical.

I don't do it anymore. I don't care why they react like they do, most people are not ready for this. They are incapable of understanding this concept. That's all.

 

It's been mostly positive. My friends got it with a very open mind. My mother supports it. My PT and I talk about it a lot.

The people I feel won't get it I just shut up and if asked tell I've been progressing a lot.

 

@hopefuldoe I thought rather than compose a list myself it would be easier to ask perplexity.ai and this is what it came up with (which I think sums much of it up):

"People may get angry or upset for several reasons:

1. Skepticism and Misinformation: Some people, including medical professionals, are skeptical about TMS (especially the mind-body syndrome concept) or have misconceptions about its validity. They may dismiss it as "not real" or "all in your head," which can provoke frustration for both you and them.
   
2. Stigma Around Mental Health and Chronic Pain: Talking about conditions like TMS can trigger defensive or dismissive reactions because many people are uncomfortable discussing mental health, invisible illnesses, or chronic pain. There's a tendency to downplay things we can't see or easily measure.
   
3. Fear and Projection: Admitting that TMS exists (especially in the mind-body sense) can threaten some people's beliefs about health. If someone has their own pain or emotional struggles, your story may unconsciously challenge their worldview, making them uncomfortable or angry.
   
4. Negative Experiences with Treatment or System Dismissal: People who've had bad experiences with TMS treatments or with being dismissed by doctors may feel anger at the healthcare system. When you bring up TMS, it can touch on unresolved frustration or reminders of their own struggles—for example, feeling "gaslighted" or not taken seriously by physicians or others.
   
5. Misattribution of Anger and Repressed Emotions: The core ideas behind TMS theory involve the role of repressed anger or other negative emotions in generating symptoms. Sometimes just talking about TMS (especially Sarno's mind-body version) brings up discomfort or even anger in listeners, perhaps because it confronts their own difficulties with emotional expression or chronic pain.
   
6. Assumptions About Treatment: Some people might associate TMS with unconventional or controversial therapies or believe it’s a sign you're not dealing with your health "the right way." This can cause them to react defensively or judgmentally.
   

In summary, people’s anger often has less to do with you and more to do with their own beliefs, discomfort, or prior experiences regarding chronic illness, pain, and emotional health. If you encounter these reactions, it can be helpful to set boundaries and seek support from communities that understand what you're going through."

I'm like @Sita, I don't discuss it any more, except for on the forums and with my husband.

 

One of my friends has an autoimmune disorder and acknowledged - without me pressing - that she suspects childhood trauma played a key role in its onset. We had an incredible and productive conversation. She even acknowledged "The Body Keeps Score"!

Within the last few weeks, another friend was diagnosed with the same structural condition as me (hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos) and is in the winter of their life, not able to keep a job or manage pain and anxiety. I have a sinking feeling this person is going to reach out to me for reinforcement, but I doubt they'll want to hear my mind-body talk. There's a huge difference in our experiences, and if they want me to agree that their situation is totally out of their hands, I'm not going to give them the validation they seek.

 

Good comments so far. Until this practice comes more into the medical and media mainstream, people are gonna be skeptical... and in some cases, get angry.

I don't talk about it either, unless a near perfect opportunity arises.

 

I was out with a large group of friends last week, and they asked about my symptoms. One asked if I’d heard of Gabor Mate. A conversation of TMS ensued (for which he has had and healed) and then everyone on the group mentioned they have had incidence and proof of a mind/body connection. It was pretty amazing.

I don’t talk about it until someone asks, and last week was surprising.

 

My hardest thing is friends, family and grown kids (who are worse than having parents!), want to judge what I’m doing as crazy and irresponsible. They don’t want to hear about TMS at all. It took me about a year, but I finally accepted that I don’t care what they think. It’s honestly my body to do with what I will. Their opinion doesn’t matter. Sometimes I laugh to myself imagining their shock when I completely recover.

I have no idea why people resist mind-body (non mainstream) cures. I’ve always been anti-establishment and resistant to the medical world, in general—so it was never hard for me to believe. TMS just makes sense to me. I don’t understand why people resist—but I think it’s because they think of doctors as knowing everything. They want someone to be authoritative. They want to let go of their power. We have all been raised to believe that doctors know best.

As a journalist, I wrote about the healthcare “industry” for 25 years—and it added to my healthy skepticism.

 

I mentioned tms to a sports chiropractor (a smart one, young - a few years younger than me, someone with a curious mind!) and he knew about it. We talked and he was very informed. This was some 8 years ago.

I also talked about it with another chiropractor, older and very successful. He knew about it but he wanted me to come and see him 3 times/week anyway. I never went back.

 

Most people get angry because they have a lot of $$ and skin in the game. If they acknowledged TMS was real, it means they wasted lots of money and time with their 5-7 surgeries. My sister comes to mind.
About 6 months ago, one of my friends who I had told about TMS, committed suicide because of his chronic pain. He was angry that he was losing his insurance and needed one more surgery to finally fix him. When I told him how I recovered he scoffed.

It goes against everything the secular world believes and only the most desperate will really believe it. Even Modern 'TMS doctors' are still selling the structural deal and treating the emotional component like Ketchup on a hot dog. They focus only on perceived emotions and not Sarno's unconscious Anger theory.

That's why very few people are getting well in the 2-6 week window. Even on this forum sometimes, Sarno is now a 'flavor', not the Hot Dog.

 

it's been a mixed bag but one thing i've noticed. since covid i believe a lot of people have a strong dose of skepticism and even mistrust with the mainstream healthcare industry and it seems there's more of an acceptance to mindbody stuff.

 

Not only since covid, even before that. But yes, you are correct. For example...I realized after the virus that the "experts" are a bunch of morons. Not all of them but many of them.

 

Yes. True. And it's understandable. Sad indeed but understandable...from their point of view.

I moved a year ago to a different state (in the US) and I'm shopping for a new doctor here for us (my husband and I). I went to three in the last months and they were a shame to their profession. All of them, different levels of incompetence and greed. I had a health issue and I was able to fix it on my own with the help of a retired biologist specialized in herbs and plants (my mom, in Europe) and with the help of an older retired MD (my husband's aunt, also living in Europe). I consulted them both via phone/internet. And I did what they suggested and I drank the teas and so on. And I'm recovering now.

These three doctors that I visited here in the new city (I have great insurance and they loved it!) were and are a shame to their profession. I don't think that all doctors are the same, no. Hopefully I'll find a competent/compassionate family doctor in the following months.

 

I think people don't want to admit that they are responsible for creating their symptoms. Better to be a victim.

 

Baseball-
From my own experience, I completely agree with you about how even so-called “TMS doctors” sometimes keep the structural model at the center and just sprinkle in the emotional component as an afterthought.

I experienced this firsthand with Dr. Laurel Steinberg. She taught me REBT, but when it came to my neck pain and tinnitus, she recommended a strict migraine elimination diet (very similar to the one in Heal Your Headache). That approach felt structural to me, not Sarno, and even she mentioned that die-hard TMS folks don’t go along with her diet. I guess she didn't realize I am one of those die-hards.
For my situation, the diet was completely irrelevant — my symptoms weren’t about food at all. They began during a stressful period and were clearly mind-body. A list of foods to avoid wasn’t going to address the root cause. Exactly what you said — emotions as “ketchup on a hot dog.”

Sarno’s approach has gotten me further than any structural add-on ever could for quite a few years.

 

I told my close cousins aboit mindbody and they were intrigued. I talked to a few of my doc friends in China my home city and surprisingly they are aware but use a different term. There is even a special team for treating patients with mindbody concept although not super popular due to low revenue generation. And the most popular Chinese psychologist frequently states a lot of body symptoms are the result of suppressed or repressed emotions. So people need to be seen and accepted by themselves by others to heal.

Some people don't believe that because misery needs company. How could anybody just cure chronic pain or other symptoms by just Journaling and reading etc., without going through hoops in the complex medical system, paying tens of thousands dollars, experiencing all kinds of side effects, etc.? Simply not fair so that must be a scam.

 

There are a few people where I have explored the topic with but I have learned that most will not only be skeptical but they'll be offended. Many of the ones that appeared receptive at first have later commented that it's quackery.

I've begun to treat it like I do politics. I don't bring it up ever, unless the person I'm talking with is on my side (i.e. is known to be receptive to the idea).

It makes the whole thing kind of sad and lonely to be honest. Thank goodness for this forum, otherwise I would constantly reside in my own head with this stuff.

 

Yes, it can be lonely indeed.

 

Nobody believes the brain can do such a thing. Granted, they all understand what anxiety can do to the body.