Day 1 whereiam

[wannarun]

I read the book a couple of weeks ago. I started thinking it could be possible. My first act towards a normal recovery would be sitting at work. After a half day of sitting my symptoms got really bad and I had increased pain for about a week. I was convinced it was structural and I was doing something wrong. I went back to the doctors and started looking for an answer, again. I saw a pain mgmt specialist. Interestingly, he told me to stop seeing doctors. He said I just had pain and to not think about it. I was really pissed. How could this be. I thought, didn't you hear my story, I have this and this and this. He also told me to be active. I thought, I'll show you. I'll see more doctors and give myself an iron core to boot. I started riding my exercise bank and working on core strength etc. Not surprisingly, after more blood tests and doctors nobody could find anything wrong.

I had purchased the audio CD as well as the book and decided to listen to the audio book in the car. Whenever, I listed I actually felt a little better. My wife who has always been supportive of a TMS diagnosis actually reminded me that the same day I tried sitting my parents presented their doubts of TMS. I decided that it might be harder for me to accept the diagnosis than others. I'm adding a little bit more physical activity every day and going through the program.

I'm still taking, Lyrica, Celebrex and using a lidocaine patch. I haven't gotten up the courage to stop them yet. I didn't notice part of my pain has moved to my hip where my lidocaine patch doesn't reach. I find it interesting. I don't have worries other than the obvious of will this work, but I'm trying to gradually add additional pieces back into my life.

I sat through one of my kids concerts. It was a start.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Wannarun. That doctor gave you the best advice. Stop seeing doctors.
No one had yet found anything structurally wrong with you, so the pain must be psychological, from TMS.
You say you don't have worries beyond worrying whether you have TMS. That is keeping you from healing.
It takes 100 percent belief in TMS to become pain free. Your subconscious really has to get that message from you.
Your wife has been supportive of the TMS concept, but you were given a dose of doubt from your parents.

Stay in the Structured Education Program and do the exercises. Journaling was a great help to me in
discovering that my severe back pain came from years of repressing emotions that went back to my childhood
when my parents divorced when I was seven. I realized they had TMS pains of their own, and understanding them
helped me to forgive them which led to my healing.

Dr. Sarno says it's okay to remain on medications until you've healed from TMS, but not to think they are
healing you. TMS is the healer.

You sat through one of your kids' concerts because you wanted to. Now want TMS to heal you and believe it will
and it will.

 

[wannarun]

Thanks Walt. I don't know why I wrote I don't have worries. I actually have a ton. Maybe it was my subconscious fighting me as I was typing. I'm worry about all kinds of stuff all the time. I look forward to going through the program and reaching out to other people who have gotten through this. Thank you.

 

[Regrowth]

Hey wannarun,
I'm right there with you. I just started this journey, and doing some of the exercises plus looking at myself in this new manner, it made me realize just how much I do worry about things. The good news for us, I think, is that simply recognizing these worries is a step in the right direction. One might think "wow, I'm worrying so much more now that I started learning about TMS," but in actuality, we are simply getting better at catching ourself worrying!