Day 1 Where I Am In My Treatment/ Fears and Doubts of TMS Diagnosis

[gray118]

Hmmmmm where I am at in my treatment........the most honest answer is that I have no idea. My pain started around 6 years ago and that is when I moved home with my parents to "figure out what was wrong with me." I imagined this would take just a couple of months of seeing doctors and figuring out what was "wrong." I ended up staying with my parents for 2 years and saw every doctor, chiropractor, physical therapist out there with no diagnosis and many failed procedures etc. that ended up hurting more than helping. I went through the same process when I moved down to Atlanta and again was told by doctors that it was all in my head, I had fibromyalgia, or simply that they didn't know how to help me. The trauma of going from doctor to doctor begging for someone to see you and your symptoms and offer real help was and continues to be heartbreaking. So I guess my answer to the question on where I am on my treatment is that I am at the end of trying to figure out "what is wrong with me," and at the beginning of working through my pain from the mind body approach. With that in mind, I would still have to say that I am about 40% doubtful of the TMS diagnosis. I want this so desperately to be the answer to my years of pain but I am terrified I want be able to convince myself of the diagnosis and therefore will never feel better. It is a lot of weight to put on something but in a way this seems like my final approach. I do very much fit into the description of someone that has TMS. I am a perfectionist, have OCD and suffer from both anxiety and depression. I have body image issues and have never treated myself with the same respect that I have treated others with. New situations, feelings, environments cause great anxiety and most of all I am terrified about the unknown. None of this is new to me and I have been addressing these issues with a therapist and medication. I want to say I am shocked by the fact that all of these things are often found in someone with TMS, but it makes so much sense. I think my biggest worry is in the healing process and if /how/when I will ever come out on the other side of this. Again, it scares me more than anything because in some sense it feels like this is my final attempt at getting my life back.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Welcome @gray118, I'm glad you landed here. I feel like I have the perfect resource for you - it's a little self-published book by our very own @TG957, which I believe is still a mere 99cents on Amazon (their minimum). Her description of her battle with the medical community is eye-opening and pretty horrifying - but her recovery from a horrifying set of symptoms is nothing short of inspirational. Her post about the book (and community responses) is in this forum thread: CTS(Carpal tunnel syndrome), CRPS, dystonia, Raynaud's - full recovery | TMS Forum (The Mindbody Syndrome) (tmswiki.org)

Welcome to Day 1 - keep it up, and keep posting

~Jan

 

[TG957]

@gray118 , if the diagnosis your doctors gave you are "fibromyalgia or we don't know", your condition is most likely TMS.

Doubts are very common and normal. I found that by questioning my approach, I only make it stronger and become more confident. Please, continue with your TMS recovery. The more you read and work through the issues, the more you are going to believe in your ability to overcome your pain. You are in a good place, keep reading and asking questions. I also recommend to read as many success stories as possible, they are a great inspiration and a how-to manual to your healing.

 

[gray118]

Thank you for the supportive responses! It always helps to know that someone has been where I am and has succeeded in overcoming their pain, especially on a day like today when your pain spikes for no reason.