What I’m learning lately

What I’m learning is impossible to contain in a single post. I like to write these little updates sometimes— I’m always hoping that something I write will help somebody. Helping people on the forum always makes me feel better. And it also teaches me. It’s so much easier to hear my own advice when it’s going out to someone else. lol And honestly, every time I need it myself!

I’ve had a strange past few weeks— good and hard. I think it was prompted by looking a little more closely at the Mindful Gardener’s approach (currently being discussed on another thread). I embraced this approach and really liked how he talks about how your brain will just deliver to you
“on a plate,” the topics you need to be thinking about— the internal topics it’s ready for you to work on. The topics you are ready to handle.

This almost felt like a relief to me…(please yes, serve them up on a plate!) so I just went about my business, trying to do my little chores each day, working on writing my book (which is my fun occupation), and just generally thinking good thoughts and being happy. And bang— three big things came up in a row!

Each one was a huge issue for me. I journaled about them and I shared them on the forum. Felt a ton of emotions that I’ve never really felt— many very overwhelming feelings. My pain spiked to go with all that. Kind of like my body was feeling it with me. Instead of getting mad at my body, I felt like it was a partner with me. It was feeling too. Together we felt it.

Then, after each episode the pain subsided a little (never completely because my symptoms still never completely go away — yet!)

At any rate. This is what happened over the last couple weeks and honestly, I’m still processing it. One of the things was something very close in my life that I honestly didn’t see. It was an incident that triggered my worst childhood horrors. And yet at the time it happened six years ago, I stuffed it instantly and practically never thought of it again. When it arose lately, I was shocked to realize what an impact it had had on me six years ago— coincidentally when my current symptoms began to brew.

I guess I’m telling you all this because it gives me hope— and I wanted to give you hope. Since these events I’ve had moments where my symptoms are much lower than usual. Moments. But, I’ll take them!

To me, TMS symptoms are on a hairpin trigger. They go up and down up and down— never really staying the same. The intensity might be slowly decreasing, but you really hardly notice it because it’s also going up and down.

The best solution to feeling better is to “get a life!” Some of us are retired, and some of us are staying home because we don’t feel well (the lucky ones of us are busy!) Not being busy is not good! Your mind just has a way too much time to get into trouble. I learned this the hard way when I first retired last year due to my TMS.

I have been much happier since I got a project— and I work on it pretty seriously a couple hours a day. The rest of the time, I try to do little chores or read. I spend time in spiritual activities that I enjoy. Listen to music. I make a huge big deal out of the tiniest things that can make me happy. Ordering out for dinner! I make a huge deal out of that. Why not? Looking forward to a special show to watch on TV or a movie: I’m as happy as a 10-year-old! Every Saturday now I get a doughnut. Yes, very fattening! I look forward to it so much! Get my idea, here? There are things to be happy about. You can override TMS thoughts anytime you want— try donuts or a game on your phone. Life is still good!

Sending out love to everyone here! ❤️

 

Love seeing the hope and positivity in your recent posts, Diana!

 

You are making such great progress!

 

Thank you for continuing to share your journey with us, @Diana-M!
It really is so incredibly helpful in so many ways (more than you might not even ever fully realize)! With gratitude ❤️

 

This makes me so happy to hear!!! Wishing you peace and hope on your journey! I love that you are here every day on the forum. It means a lot to me, too. Your quiet support really helps.❤️