Venting

[Nate]

Hi all, i have been doin pretty well lately a few aches and pains but nothing too bad or to cause worry i even started back working out and let me say it feels great t finally start to feel a lil fit again. Last night at work i started to get sciatica like pain again on the left side and a lil on the right too. I had an extra hard workout yesterday that i put myself through so straight away i thought dam did I over do it? As the night when on i couldnt help but focus on it although i tried my very best all night not to. I woke up this morning and yep still sore dam it! So frustrating! Im trying to keep my calm relax and let myself know its fine ill be ok. I also done a 15hr shift last night which i didnt really wanna do but my wife is between jobs at the moment so we kinda need the money. I guess annoys me quite a bit i always feel i have to do all this overtime to earn lots of money to have a good life (financially anyway) while she has been drifting in and out of jobs for the past few months like its no big deal! I feel terrible for thinkin this way and wish i didnt and she is trying her best but i cant help it. I feel like im taking all this extra stuff on plus secretly dealing with TMS while veryone else seems to be cruising along lovin life. I think this post ended up as more of a little vent in the end so sorry but i guess i needed it lol I also dont know why i thought my workout started me off cause now i look back on it it started to hurt a lil the day before that so it was probably the fear of it again! I tried to beat it i think by doing the extra hard workout to re assure myself i was fine but really was in fear of the pain comin back and now having a big hard workout as a good reason to hurt my sub concious loved it and grabbed on woth all his might lol thanks for listening to me ramble on and please dont hesitate to put any comments i really enjoy the feed back i get and thankyou all for your efforts

 

[plum]

Hi Nate,

Venting is good, it releases those volcanic emotions bubbling below the surface. Whether we journal or vent a little here, either way allows us to take a good, clear look at the issues that trouble us. It's apparent that you're shouldering a lot right now; long shifts, financial burdens and simply keeping the ball rolling are exhausting and emotionally demanding. I'm sorry to hear that taking a little time for yourself has resulted in pain but I think you have the seed of your healing right there.

Remember Sarno wrote about the rage:soothe ratio. It's so important to find and maintain that balance. I've come to think it's a bit like tightrope walking for folks who have TMS. It's real tricky to get the balance and we spend a while stumbling and falling around but it is a learning curve, and we can learn to steer our course with calm and poise.

I've found balance through integrating a more mindful approach to all I do. Treating life gently, taking my time, smelling the roses. I find slowing down seems to lift the load. It's easy to push through each day with a list of demands nailed to your forehead. Interestingly, most people are quite happy to let another shoulder responsibility and unless we do something about that, it just goes on. It's not that the people around us don't care, it's that they don't realise how much we are suffering and it is also because we are strong. I believe that a lot of people with TMS have great emotional strength and once they learn to grow beyond the strange fluctuations of everyday life, they become the great souls they are destined to be. Those of us here are on that journey. The pain we feel is essentially that of our soul lifting something too heavy. Like the body, our emotional self needs nurturing until one day, we step into our power.

Take heart my dear. We all have our limits and when these are tested it is a sign to soothe, to rest, and be kind to yourself.
Warm wishes.

 

[Nate]

Thanks for the reply plum they were some very nice words you wrote and I totally agree with what you have written. I'm always taking the burden even everyday at work I push myself to do more and more to get things done where other people slack off and although I'm appreciated at work for it it really gets on my nerves that these people can be so lazy and sometimes wish I could be like that lol definitely doesn't help my stress levels and most of all anger. And when the pain comes back I get angry cause I know I won't be able to do all the extras I want to. And then fear if how long will it last and start to question maybe there is something wrong when there isn't well nothing serious anyway I've been told. Thanks again much aporeciated

 

[plum]

My pleasure Nate.
I was musing on your words and my personal situation and I realised this has a lot to do with personal boundaries too. Sometimes we need to draw a line and not be afraid to enforce it. People-pleasers have huge challenges with this but it is essential. I've had need to do this only this week with someone who is a nightmare. For the sake of my own sanity, I can't really know them anymore. No need for a big scene or discussion, I doubt they'd understand anyway. They are profoundly selfish. So I am simply withdrawing from their circle, and what a relief that is. Sometimes we have to change a situation rather than bend ourselves out of shape.

Like you, when people overstep the mark I get angry. It feels like an abuse. There you are, helping someone out of a jam and they keep taking. Are they kidding?! Work in progress but I am getting much better at creating these boundaries, and respecting myself enough to enforce them.