Day 1 Unconscious Brain Strikes Back, but Optimistic to Overcome this Challenge

English is not my first language, so please excuse me for it, but here goes my story and where I am at today!

I am a 25-year-old man lived half of my life in Southeast Asia, and the other half in Australia. To keep it short, I originally experienced my first journey of MBS/TMS in late 2022, where I developed pelvic pain symptoms after a series of stressful events ramped up in my life when I was in my early 20s (work, family, career, surgery). I am currently going through a new round of symptoms after being recovered, I am unsure this is symptom imperative/substitution or an actual relapse.

The Beginning of Healing (2024)

The pelvic pain symptoms popped up after a series of stressful events and while I was waiting and preparing to take on the anal fistula surgery in late 2022. I was experiencing a dull ache sensation in the groin region, burning foot, tightness in my buttocks, and tingling in my leg. In 2023, I was able to see a very kind pelvic floor therapist, who helped me ease up 50% of my symptoms. However, I wanted to get to 100% and fortunately, I found the mindbody work from Dr. Howard Schubiner and Steve Ozanich, which I read and re-read their concepts from Unlearn Your Pain and The Great Pain Deception (Highly recommended) for months and applied the methods to my healing. I was my own best friend throughout the journey, and it was exciting to regain my life as I learned that there was nothing physically wrong with my body; it was my unconscious brain that was producing all the symptoms. After four to five months of actively working on MBS work, I was able to live my life to the fullest joy, work on exciting projects again, travel with my girlfriend, and start a small business... I thought it was over haha ...

The Newer Symptoms (2025)

All my joy and hope got wiped out earlier this year. I thought it was a new beginning, and I was able to move on from the painful years and start a new chapter. In early 2025, I was infected with the flu when I was travelling back to my home country (felt all the headache, tiredness, coughing, and congestion) and fully recovered after a course of antibiotics. Unfortunately, several weeks later, after I travelled back to Australia in February for work, things got worse.

I initially felt faint during work, which I thought was a blood sugar issue, so I quickly grabbed some foods to resolve the situation. Several days later, I developed newer symptoms: major fatigue, headache/fogginess, nasal congestion, shortness of breath, anxiety, heart palpitation, and tingling in my legs. It was surprising because I have always tried to remind myself of the MBS concepts all this time even after recovering from the pelvic pain and still get knock out.

It was a shocking and disappointing moment; I suspected that it was MBS again because I had known the other four friends of mine who also got infected with the flu during that time but recovered and went back to work and life after several weeks. So why am I still suffering from symptoms...? I gave myself a few months to adjust my emotions and mentality to this onset of new symptoms.

I have gone back to the tmswiki to read through the success stories for fatigue. It was wild to see how some were able to deactivate the fatigue signal within weeks or months, while others took longer. I started to feel inspired by many recovery stories and decided that I wanted to work through this diligently and be there with other users. (Especially, balto, ssxl4000, beep, and many more -- thanks to you all !!)

Over recent weeks, I have built up an evidence list to convince myself that it is all my unconscious brain that’s pulling strings in my body again. My main and lingering symptoms over the last four months are the fatigue, brain fog/headache, and shortness of breath—but funnily, I decided to not give a damn about it last weekend and went out for three to four hours in the city. The fatigue in the morning shifted to the original burning foot and groin pain from last year in the evening. I laughed and got excited because my brain exposed itself. I went out last weekend, all good. I went out this weekend, feeling more fatigued and having difficulty breathing... weird... I am truly tired of this little devil inside that is not willing to give up and is making my life extremely difficult.

After building up the evidence, I decided to go for a long drive yesterday to refresh and make up my mind. I have decided to stop being a victim and stand up for myself once again. I am a smart, hardworking, and healthy young man who is currently facing some speed bumps in life and that’s okay, but I am the pilot of my mind, so I am all in on taking my life back and starting the treatment plan wholeheartedly (despite the depressing experience lol).

I am unsure if this symptom imperative or substitution should be viewed as a big leap of progress or a relapse, but I am sick and tired of being controlled by this little devil in me. Would love to have some of your thoughts on this!

I am back reading Dr. Howard Schubiner, Steve Ozanich, and Dr. Sarno and preparing to unlock myself for this next chapter of growth. I treat this as an opportunity to discover and grow myself.

Am I worried? Yes, I do have worries and doubts whether MBS/TMS can help me alleviate the newer symptoms again because they are a bit scarier than the original. I initially felt very bad because my loving mother and father had to continuously support and experience this constant cycle of suffering of mine. I still need to rebuild my confidence and belief in TMS again, it is hard work, but I am hopeful that it will work out beautifully.

 

Hi, @ttlwbrighter9999 !

I am sorry you are experiencing a second round of TMS. Unfortunately, this happens to many of us. It seems like such a rip off, after you made your way to feeling better. It’s unfair for it to come back. It just means you have more work to do. TMS is somewhat of a lifelong thing. You have to keep an eye on it and keep fighting it off, I hate to say for most people. So, it’s not unusual that this happened to you.

Yes! Perfect attitude!

You will learn even more than last time and you will become stronger and more invincible.

It is hard to believe when the symptoms are scarier— and they do tend to get scarier each time. So don’t be surprised by that. You can still heal from this!

You know what to do, because you did it once already. You might actually have to do more digging into your emotional history then before— it’s also usually what happens. The first time to heal can often be based on just the knowledge of TMS. But ultimately, you have to heal your past, your present traits and habits, and lots of things about yourself. But in the end, you’ll be amazing.

Stay with us! This forum is so good for helping!

 

Hi Diana, I know that you and I will be able to pull through this with hope and resiliency. I am sure the worst will be over very soon and it will get easier overtime.

TMS relapses are frustrating, the reasoning behind it can be illogical and irrational (I was extremely happy & joyful during my relapse - stress, yes, but it was nothing biggie). The most hopeful thing is, this is reversible, like Steve Ozanich said, there is nothing for us to heal from to begin with, our body is truly a capable healing machine and is meant to be moved. My unconscious brain has been relentless in pulling me back to the negative thought patterns and doubts regarding MBS.

I will go back to Steve Ozanich's teaching and build up my confidence again. I am a bit worried, but also excited to restart my engine for this.