Two and a Half Years Later

I am still struggling with TMS chronic back pain, more than a half years after discovering it.

I feel I have tried everything that has been suggested as a 'fix'.

I have written nearly 900 journals over that period of time. I have had 15 months in the last 24 of psychotherapy, with two different therapists.

I am currently doing a therapy called Somatic Experience, and have had six sessions.

I have started back to regular exercise, and am trying to do 3-4 sessions during the week of an hour - half an hour split between a treadmill and cycle machine, followed by half an hour of swimming.

What else should I do? Why do I still have a massive amount of pain?

I believe that bullying is central to my TMS.

 

This remind me of a quote from Albert Einstein: "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".
900 journals????? wow! I don't know how anyone can ever be happy if one keep living in the past. Keep reliving bad memories, keep recreate negative emotions in one's mind and expect to be happy and healthy.
That bully is long dead. It is time for you to go out there and celebrate life. Living life to the fullest. Prove to the bully that you are wonderful and enjoy life. Prove to yourself that you are fearless. Nothing make tms more scare than you not scare of it.
TMS grow and intensify when you:
- worry about your health.
- Fear your symptoms.
- your mind stuck in the negative territory more than positive.
- you have doubt about doctor Sarno's diagnosis.
TMS will die when you:
- living your life as if you are well and happy. (act if you need to)
- Fearless. Don't give damn about that back pain.
- focus on the wonderful things in your life.
- find love, find meaningful companions, and focus on growing those.
- Just live life as if you are normal.

 

Were the therapists TMS trained? Is the Somatic therapist TMS savvy?

 

I think just doing activities that cause you pain and persisting despite the pain is one of the best ways to overcome TMS. The journaling and psychotherapy are certainly useful to an extent but for me there came a time when I would just do an activity no matter how painful it is.

I still have a lot of pain when exercising but I hope to slowly overcome this. I still have a fear of certain exercises and it is undoubtedly preventing my full recovery.

Have you made any progress or is your pain just as bad as before discovering the TMS diagnosis?

 

The therapists were not TMS trained, but they both understood and believed the concept behind the ideas of TMS.

The Somatic therapist is becoming more and more TMS savvy as time goes on. I even gave her a book by Sarno, and apparently some of her other patients have been reading it.

 

I would recommend you see, or skype with a TMS therapist. You can find one at the PRACTITIONERS directory here. In a recent post by Allen Gordon, he lists some TMS interns working with him who are charging a greatly reduced rate if cost is an issue. I went to Donald Dubin, now deceased, who appears on Dr. Schechter's tapes, (who, BTW told me he doesn't always agree with him). He told me he never had to do more then a dozen sessions to get the TMS message across. In my opinion, if your therapist is not TMS trained, and you have to give them the book, they are learning on your dime, and should be paying you for the practice.

 

I'm in two minds at the moment. I know I am getting much closer to what I am repressing, but think I am as far away as I have ever been. I could get to the point of what I am repressing today, or it could take another six months. I can't stand the pain much more.

I didn't expect it would take half as long as this. It shouldn't be taking anything close to a year, and yet two an a half years later, I am still struggling.

The pain is generated from the belief that my best friend in the world is being treated as horribly by his wife, as I was treated by my mum when I was a child.

 

In my opinion it's not about finding what we repress, but why we repress. Ask yourself why you need to repress emotions that are very human, and that most others don't need to repress. For me this required that I look at internal conflicts. In truth I feel a certain way about something, but believe that I shouldn't feel that way, so I repress it. This belief that we should feel differently than how we really do is often linked to our personality traits, which are shaped primarily by our early childhood experiences. These old internal conflicts and patterns of coping are triggered by current events in our lives.

 

You are wasting your time doing psycho-archeology trying to find the black-bullet event that is causing you your TMS pain. The point of "repressed" memories is that they are REPRESSED--you aren't supposed to access them. Dr. Sarno's point is that TMS pain is BENIGN--harmless! He says JUST DO IT! Stop living in the past, MOVE forward. Find what it is you like doing and DO IT! Stop the psychobabbling and self-help books--except for TMS KNOWLEDGE PENICILLIN books, audios, and videos. Until you get the fundamentals of TMS theory, keep studying TMS theory until you can recite it by rote.

 

Okay point taken, Tennis Tom. I had started exercising again, so I will concentrate on that ....

 

Working through TMS is a journey and not a destination. Once I was able to let go of the idea that I would feel better after x number of therapy sessions or x number of journal entries, I made a lot of progress. I've been at this for almost two years and have made a ton of progress but it wasn't as quickly as I wanted; I still have pain set backs too but have had many pain free days and weeks. It takes time to undo patterns that cook up the nervous system. I'd recommend working with a TMS trained therapist. Best of luck and don't lose hope if you haven't progressed as quick as others.

 

Read kld03c's bio, it's a good one.

 

Thanks for all the advice. As I said, I'll be increasing my exercise, and see how I go.