TMS & Personality Traits.

[Huckleberry]

I'm just wondering on this really. Time and time again you read testimonials from people (generally those who seem to have a quick book/knowledge cure) that they started to read Sarno and recognised themselves and their personality traits on every page etc etc. I don't know but I'm pretty sure if you presented a list of these traits to 1000 people probably 999 of them will recognise and identify with them. I'm just wondering if this side of the TMS theory is over played and that somatisation happens for reasons other than personality type etc? any thoughts or opinions?

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Huckleberry, I agree that the traits in the personality lists seem to fit just about everyone,
like some medication is supposed to cure everything from back pain and acne to hair loss.

But I disregard most of them and just know darned well I am a perfectionist and a "goodist"
who wants to be liked and my work approved. Those are enough for me to recognize myself.

I've found healing and mind relaxation in just modifying those two traits.
I find that if I am half the perfectionist and care half as much about people liking me,
I still get a lot done and think highly of myself. No one I know is any better, so why
should I expect me to be?

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

I've begun to wonder if the pharmaceutical companies who love to push pills on us are going to lobby Congress
for a bill to make it illegal for us to practice deep breathing. Ha ha.

 

[Kiara]

In my opinion there are some people who are far more perfectionistic and overly conscientious than others. I know some people who just seem to be able to live in the moment and are not perfectionistic at all. My interest in Myers Briggs personality typing has led me to believe that there are some types who are much more susceptible to these issues, although I do believe that life experiences have a great deal to do with it.

 

[Huckleberry]

Thanks for the replies guys. Yes, I suppose it does make sense that these traits effect different people to differing amounts and that this probably has a huge part to play. One other thing I always notice on the forum is that the vast majority of people write well, seem pretty switched on and intelligent and seem to have lived most of their lives applying empirical rationing and reason for problem solving. I think these traits are often our downfall when we hit a hurdle like TMS as we just cannot but help try and employ our go to problem solving skills which inevitably fail miserably. I often think that old saying ignorance is bliss does hold some merit.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Huckleberry, I too notice that some of the people posting in the forums have a lot of knowledge and writing skills.
But we don't need either to heal from TMS. The main thing is believing 100 percent that our pain is from TMS
repressed emotions and/or our perfectionist or "goodist" personality. Just recognizing what our repressed stresses are
is enough to heal us. We don't have to solve those problems, says Dr. Sarno. And we just have to modify our personalities,
we don't have to change them.

 

[Ollin]

...I'm pretty sure if you presented a list of these traits to 1000 people probably 999 of them will recognise and identify with them.

Yes, you're right! And some people show a trait at some times, not in all situations. But I think it's not so much the objective assessment whether or not we have a certain personality trait, but how thinking about the given trait affects us. For instance, I didn't believe I was a goodist (always striving to please others ahead of myself). If you asked me, I could find lots of people around me who are goodists, starting with my parents, siblings, ex partners, i.e. people close to me who must have influenced my perception of myself. In comparison, I thought of myself as a very selfish person, and when someone disliked me I would assume this selfishness as the reason. Which bothered me of course, but what can I do, I'm just not "goodist-enough"?! Not good enough, not likeable, non-lovable...

Well, living with such feeling of inadequacy and constantly beating myself over not being goodist must have its consequences. Looking objectively - I am a goodist, at least I tried to be but it didn't make me any more popular, only got taken advantage of. But my subconscious still believes I should be. The same with perfectionism - the world pushes everyone in this direction: only perfect is good enough. I recognize I'm not perfect, but then I'm insecure at work and in relationships. Or try telling someone that you accept yourself despite some weaknesses - they'll judge you as lazy, not even trying any self-work.

I suggest we should really look at how we FEEL about the various emotional traits. Not asking "do I have it?" but "if I have it or don't have it - am I still OK?" What are we resisting, e.g. "I never want to be a perfectionist like my father". See all that leads to inner conflict - lots of emotional buildup, and eventually physical tension.