Day 4 Things doctors have said...

[CoolRunnings]

What was the most disheartening thing a doctor has told you about your symptoms? In what ways have you kept that in your mind?

A few come to mind over the years and especially currently with this latest bout of acute "sciatica":

• You have a hernia, you need to be careful the rest of your life and avoid x,y,z
• You have a weakness in that right L5-S1 and just need to be aware of it. e.g. don't deadlift after having spent a few hours in the car that day
• Strengthen your core (if I hear that one more time...)
• It's definitely something structural (heard this today from an acupuncturist. Even though I've made huge progress the last 3 days treating this as TMS and I've worked so hard to build that belief, it's still poking holes of doubt and very discouraging to hear. Ironically, it made me quite angry and frustrated)

These repeated diagnoses about underlying structural issues (with no explanation why they happened) and repeated advice and treatment recommendations all create an image that my body is weak, I'm weak, and there's nothing for it- it's how I'm built. This is incredibly damaging to my psyche, especially as someone who has become increasingly obsessed with fitness (def to the degree of a compulsive disorder that's contributing to my TMS) and always felt frail as a child (very skinny, often got colds, and had a pronated right foot).

When doctors tell me these things, this just feeds into my feelings of physical inadequacy and never feeling like I'll even have a normal life if this is something I'll always have to live with. Tons of frustration, anxiety, fear and rage there.

 

[Aaricia]

That's a good one! Or even 4 to be precise

Yes, we are so damaged that we all should just switch to wheelchairs and eat opioids like candies, but even then there is no hope for us.
Same here, I'm very strong person before my back went off, doing weights, fitness, zumba but suddenly I was too fragile to swipe the floor. I should be carefull, take of myself. I know that I've put my body under a lot of stress but none of those smart "white coats" asked me about recent pressure in school, childhood, motherchood, marriage. No they just send me to MRI that showed L4-L5 herniated disc and they accept that as a cause of my neck, shoulder, upper back, middle back, lower back pain - that's just BRILLIANT !

I'm telling you dear @CoolRunnings, we need to take care of our recovery by ourselves. And we are on a great way to do it! This medical society give up on us already.
Hang in there and see you around!

 

[CoolRunnings]

@Aaricia Thank you for the kind words. I agree 100%. What's weird is how illogical some of the diagnoses are. e.g. they looked at my MRI from BEFORE my "sciatica" and said, yup nerved are in contact with the disc. But that was over a month before I had any of this pain...I'm a scientist and engineer by training, it boggles my mind that no critical thinking is involved here.

Good news is I woke up feeling so much better but may have overdone my physical activity around the house cause it really hurts now. Of course, my inclination is that this is conditioned pain. I expected the pain from "overdoing activity" and so it gave me the pain. This TMS really is a challenge!