The reason for perfectionsim

[Forest]

Praise for accomplishments in school or in sports, etc., was absent. Criticism for anything less than excellent performance prevailed.

Self-Sufficient, Too Early, Pathways to Pain Relief

There are a lot of reasons why we may develop perfectionism, but I wonder if a common theme is only being praised for excellent performance as children. I know that I felt a lot of pressure to achieve. I'm curious if other people have similar experiences. To those perfectionists out there, does this quote resonate with your own experience?

As a heads up, we will be discussing the section, Self-Sufficient, Too Early during this week's TMS call in discussion group. As a reminder, the discussion will start at 2 PM ET and will run until 3.

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[gailnyc]

I really don't consider myself a perfectionist, though I can be very critical of myself. However, this quote definitely resonates with me. I had a hyper-critical mother for whom anything less than an "A" was unacceptable. I eventually rebelled against this, not by being a bad student but by thinking it was ridiculous to be so hard on myself, but I obviously was affected by it during my early years, before I was able to think for myself.

 

[BruceMC]

I think that perfectionism develops during childhood and young adulthood in response to what Dr Sarno and others call "conditional love" - praise and affection are withheld for anything less than what Dr Anderson refers to as "excellent performance". Yet what children long for is unconditional love and being accepted for who and what they are irrespective of their daily failures and shortcomings. Sounds like a shortcoming in a society that values being a winner above every thing else. Americans can probably trace it back to the Romans and their power and victory at any price ethos. Afterall, the Romans were the first to implement the fight-to-the-death ethos in their Legions.

 

[Forest]

Just a reminder that we'll be discussing this topic during the call-in discussion group tomorrow (Saturday May 18th). As always, it'll start at 2:00pm ET, and run until 3. Our awesome team of cohosts will be running this discussion, as I'll be in New York presenting at the master class training for TMS practitioners.

Once again, here's the connection info (for more detailed instructions, click here):

If you're connecting by phone, dial 1 646 583 7415 and when prompted enter the pin code 21558901.​

If you're connecting via your computer (Fuze Meeting), go towww.fuzemeeting.com/fuze/app/48fb7aa8/18311499 and follow the instructions from there.​

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For more info, check out the discussion group wiki page.

 

[Forest]

Hey everyone,
Here's the recording from the discussion on Saturday (below). You can also download the recording as an mp3 by right-clicking on this link, and choosing to save it to your computer.