Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)
Beloved Grand Eagle
I won't say who sent me this email yesterday but want to share it and my reply to you all because
I've read others post that they just can't forgive those who caused them to have TMS pain.
"This might sound like a dumb question, but how did you forgive? I have been working on that for years. I believe in God, and yet....
"I know my dad was a product of his background and family stuff. Family...when my dad and uncle were little they had to wait on the front stoop, even in the rain, when they visited their grandmother. No one in the family knows why she wouldn't let them in the house while their parents were allowed inside. And why did my grandparents keep visiting her? When my grandpa was little she would lock him in a closet. So, it isn't like my dad just decided one day to be a mean person. I have tried in the past to talk to him, very unsuccessfully. We are not in contact anymore.
"Anyway, who am I that I want forgiveness, but I can't even begin to get past this?"
I replied,
"I was able to forgive my parents when I put myself in their shoes and realized they had their own physical and emotional stress-pain from their own childhood and trying to raise a family of three (my brother, sister, and me) during the 1930s Great Depression. Mom had frequent migraine headaches and Dad had bad back pain. They couldn't have been expected to be happy parents under those circumstances.
"My older brother bullied me and beat me up because he resented having to look after me and my sister. By journaling about them when I was a boy, now I could understand them all better and forgive. They had all passed on before I learned about TMS and how to forgive, but I forgave them in my heart.
"For those who caused us really big emotional problems, such as physical or emotional abuse, if we don't forgive, those who hurt us win. Forgiving those who trespass against us is some of the best advice God has given us. Forgiving lifts our heart to others and makes us feel warm and fuzzy instead. Forgiving becomes a shield against all enemies and evils of life.
"Hope this helps. "
I've read others post that they just can't forgive those who caused them to have TMS pain.
"This might sound like a dumb question, but how did you forgive? I have been working on that for years. I believe in God, and yet....
"I know my dad was a product of his background and family stuff. Family...when my dad and uncle were little they had to wait on the front stoop, even in the rain, when they visited their grandmother. No one in the family knows why she wouldn't let them in the house while their parents were allowed inside. And why did my grandparents keep visiting her? When my grandpa was little she would lock him in a closet. So, it isn't like my dad just decided one day to be a mean person. I have tried in the past to talk to him, very unsuccessfully. We are not in contact anymore.
"Anyway, who am I that I want forgiveness, but I can't even begin to get past this?"
I replied,
"I was able to forgive my parents when I put myself in their shoes and realized they had their own physical and emotional stress-pain from their own childhood and trying to raise a family of three (my brother, sister, and me) during the 1930s Great Depression. Mom had frequent migraine headaches and Dad had bad back pain. They couldn't have been expected to be happy parents under those circumstances.
"My older brother bullied me and beat me up because he resented having to look after me and my sister. By journaling about them when I was a boy, now I could understand them all better and forgive. They had all passed on before I learned about TMS and how to forgive, but I forgave them in my heart.
"For those who caused us really big emotional problems, such as physical or emotional abuse, if we don't forgive, those who hurt us win. Forgiving those who trespass against us is some of the best advice God has given us. Forgiving lifts our heart to others and makes us feel warm and fuzzy instead. Forgiving becomes a shield against all enemies and evils of life.
"Hope this helps. "
