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Day 1 The nagging doubt holding me back

J

jackyrs

Newcomer
Hey everyone,

I've suffered with constant back pain for last 2.5 months, which I appreciate is a short time around here, but it's been very unpleasant all the same.

It started in my lower back and got really bad after a long drive. I assumed the cause was a combo of my terrible posture, 6 month old baby and increased weightlifting.

It usually gets worse through the day - I pretty much always feel pain on my lower spine but also it randomly pops up elsewhere on my back, and on my shoulders, neck, even my chest.

After reading Sarno (and this incredible website) I believe in TMS, and am committing to the program. I've even suffered from what I believe are psychosomatic illnesses before (intense itchy skin when stressed, IBS, tinnitus).

BUT I have this one nagging doubt. Before I discovered TMS, I read Stuart McGill's book, which focuses on physical causes - spine hygiene and posture etc. It's in direct conflict with Sarno.

And as committed as I am to TMS in my conscious mind, I find it hard to fully shake the question: considering I've only had 2.5 months of pain, am I sure that my lower back isn't still physically injured?

This doubt is holding me back from fully embracing the TMS diagnosis which I know I need to do to recover. I have an MRI in a few days and I even have an appointment with a McGill master clinician booked in four weeks. I'd be v reluctant to cancel it because the wait is so long for an appointment.

I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that any injury I got 2.5 months would have healed by now and therefore it must be TMS... can anyone provide it?

Thanks!
 
jackyrs said:
BUT I have this one nagging doubt.
Click to expand...

I think the biggest mistake often cited is that you have to believe it's TMS.
I don't think this is the case. If you think it's possible that its TMS, that is enough.
Once you do the work and the pain goes away, you'll believe!

Believe that it is a possibility. Switch your focus from your symptoms to your emotions. Write out all the things that you are angry about that you have no idea that you are angry about. Go live your life. Rinse and repeat. Every day for awhile.
Don't think about the pain during this process - as in -- don't check or ask yourself "is it working?"
Just do.
The pain ends up going away when you least expect it.

Enjoy the journey!
It's a marvel to see all the weird muck hidden inside.
 
Booble said:
I think the biggest mistake often cited is that you have to believe it's TMS.
I don't think this is the case. If you think it's possible that its TMS, that is enough.
Once you do the work and the pain goes away, you'll believe!

Believe that it is a possibility. Switch your focus from your symptoms to your emotions. Write out all the things that you are angry about that you have no idea that you are angry about. Go live your life. Rinse and repeat. Every day for awhile.
Don't think about the pain during this process - as in -- don't check or ask yourself "is it working?"
Just do.
The pain ends up going away when you least expect it.

Enjoy the journey!
It's a marvel to see all the weird muck hidden inside.
Click to expand...

Thank you so much that’s even better to hear than what I was hoping for. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. Off I go!
 
jackyrs said:
am I sure that my lower back isn't still physically injured?
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I'll just add one rhetorical question for you to ponder, playing devil's advocate here:

What makes you think you have an injury?

When I fell flat on my face while skiing way too fast straight downhill in 1982, I was diagnosed with a fracture of my C6 (or maybe it was the C7, I've never remembered) cervical vertebrae. IOW, I broke my neck. That's an injury (totally healed). In 2008 I crashed my bike and fell hard on my left hip, suffering a fracture of the femoral neck. That was also an injury (pinned and totally healed).

An assumption that unexplained pain must have a physiological cause is not an injury.

That being said, we always advise that a new symptom should be medically checked out before assuming it's TMS. MRIs are not handed out on request, so I have to assume that you have been medically checked out and that there was nothing obviously urgent that needed to be attended to. If it was me, with my experience, I would not bother with the MRI, but since it's in a few days I guess why not, right? The McGill appointment sounds like a waste of time and possibly money. But again, that's me with my knowledge and experience. You'll know more after the MRI. Also, after the MRI, be sure to revisit Dr Sarno's findings about the many inconsistencies between MRIs and pain locales!

But let's go back to my main point about using the word injury. And let me be clear: you are far from being alone in using this terminology, so I'm really not trying to criticize your completely typical and normal thought process! What I am trying to do is to challenge that thought process and help you start thinking radically differently. It will change your life - as will "doing the work" as @Booble also mentioned. BTW, she's right-on about the all-or-nothing myth about belief. Belief comes from doing the work and experiencing the results. As belief strengthens, recovery from setbacks becomes easier over time.

Let us know if you want help finding our favorite resources! You could start doing the Structured Educational Program today and start seeing results very quickly, even if you take it slowly (the only way for it to sink in) by doing just one Day per day.
 
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That’s a v good question Jan and of course the answer is: I don’t know I’m injured. I just have pain.

What I do know is I just went for a 7km run and have less pain than I did before! Which I’m not sure would happen if I had a back injury.

thank you for asking that question: v thought provoking. I’m on to day 3 of structured program today.

im going to do the mri. I’ve got no faith in it as a way to diagnose my pain but obviously I want to check there’s no serious disease.

we’ll see about the McGill clinician…

thank you again
 
David Hanscom, MD is a former back surgeon who was practicing at Swedish Medical Center in Seattle. He was aware of Dr Sarno's work, and recovered from his own chronic pain journey some years ago. He started developing his own pre-surgery program for patients, with a goal of helping them recover without surgery. Several years ago, when he reached a point where about 40% of his patients were canceling their surgeries after doing his program, he stopped doing surgery, left his practice, and started devoting himself full time to this work. You can find his many free resources, book and program at backincontrol.com. His journey is pretty interesting!
 
jackyrs said:
That’s a v good question Jan and of course the answer is: I don’t know I’m injured. I just have pain.

What I do know is I just went for a 7km run and have less pain than I did before! Which I’m not sure would happen if I had a back injury.

thank you for asking that question: v thought provoking. I’m on to day 3 of structured program today.

im going to do the mri. I’ve got no faith in it as a way to diagnose my pain but obviously I want to check there’s no serious disease.

we’ll see about the McGill clinician…

thank you again
Click to expand...


Personally I wouldn't get the MRI because -- why?
A few months of back pain after: " terrible posture, 6 month old baby and increased weightlifting."
Seems pretty darn normal to me!!

For me if I was in your shoes I'd focus on writing stuff down and getting any unacknowledged emotions out.
A six month baby must cause all kinds of inner hidden turmoil, among the joy of the sweet baby.
 
Doesn’t Dr Sarno recommend getting one to check there’s nothing sinister at work?

Am doing lots of journaling- really enjoying it!
 
jackyrs said:
Doesn’t Dr Sarno recommend getting one to check there’s nothing sinister at work?
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Did you not get an exam prior to having an MRI scheduled? I've only ever had one MRI (for a benign but growing and painful tumor called a "schwannoma" near my Achilles tendon). The first ortho to examine it sent me to a more senior ortho, who called for the MRI. There was a clear progression of immediate concern which ultimately resulted in the diagnosis and then surgery.

But I digress - so what was the consensus from your intial exam? I don't get a sense that there was any major concern or urgency. Why the MRI in the first place?

Don't forget that Dr Sarno also said that he found a significant lack of consistency between what MRIs showed and where people were reporting back pain - it just didn't line up. And he went on to discover that MRIs of people with no pain showed the same exact type and amount of wear and tear in adulthood as the people with pain. The difference was in their personality types and response to stress. Dr. Hanscom will tell you the same thing.

So the ~perhaps~ rhetorical question to ponder: what's the point of all these MRIs that people seem to be getting right and left? Our TMS brains love MRIs, because they invariably show some shit! It's a classic Sarno-style distraction, in fact!

jackyrs said:
Am doing lots of journaling- really enjoying it!
Click to expand...
jackyrs said:
I just went for a 7km run and have less pain than I did before!
Click to expand...
You're on your way, @jackyrs - there will be setbacks, but these are just proof that your brain is creating these symptoms to keep you stuck. Keep at it!
 
jackyrs said:
Doesn’t Dr Sarno recommend getting one to check there’s nothing sinister at work?

Am doing lots of journaling- really enjoying it!
Click to expand...

I don't know what Dr. Sarno recommends but MRIs are fairly new. I'm not a doctor but for back pain unless someone is having serious complications and other symptoms that would point to something dangerous then I don't think they make sense, except for being able to BILL the insurance company for big bucks.
 
jackyrs said:
Just to update you guys, I cancelled the mri and the McGill specialist!

had an amazing few days where the pain was right down and almost gone and then a bit of a recurrence but just going to focus on the program.
Click to expand...

*clap *clap *clap

That must feel good!
 
I just read the whole thread. Good call.

...and being a parent of a young child is one of the most common profiles of TMS sufferers... My 'injury' (sic) happened right after my second son was born and I became sole bread winner in the family. After the 'posture/surgery/core' people failed me I read the book over and over, did what it said and have enjoyed years of bad posture and terrible habits pain free. I'm sure you will too.
 
Booble said:
Write out all the things that you are angry about that you have no idea that you are angry about. Go live your life. Rinse and repeat. Every day for awhile.
Don't think about the pain during this process - as in -- don't check or ask yourself "is it working?"
Just do.
The pain ends up going away when you least expect it.
Click to expand...
@Booble, I’m putting this on my fridge. :)
 
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