The magical mystery TMS tour…

lately I’ve been feeling frustrated. my symptoms are downright ridiculous. I’m walking slower than ever. I’m feeling really defeated. I can’t stand up to brush my teeth?! Please!

But at the same time, I’m brave. I started an exercise program a couple months ago and I’m sticking with it and doing well.

I’ve decided I’m going to the beach on a trip that my husband and I postponed last year because of my TMS. This trip is looming up fast in a week and a half. Coincidentally, when I decided to go for sure, my body locked me down. Yesterday, I was so depressed I could hardly move.

This morning, I opened the forum because it’s the only way I can really ever get out of bed. I have a lot of anxiety in the morning. Someone had responded to something I wrote a month ago. It was one of my little pep talks that I constantly write on this forum, like whistling in the dark. And gosh, it really hit me in a good way. My own voice hit me! It basically said fear is your enemy. I thought that was a nice little gesture from God— To send me this peptalk this morning.

So I’ve got this trip that’s got my TMS brain all jacked up. And then there’s Mother’s Day coming up. I have tons of mother issues galore from my past. And then, as a mother I face a lot of anxiety and issues with my own kids. My oldest son, who really causes me a lot of anguish, called me out of the blue last night and wanted to set up something for Mother’s Day. I mean, honestly, I was shocked! I have been slowly changing my relationship with him. I’ve been backing away because usually he hurts me a lot. Maybe the backing away is helping? (And/or a ton of prayer!)

So three things to note today:

The pep talks you give another might just be your own one day.

Backing away from mean people can make things better. At the least, you get back your self respect.

Doing things, despite being scared out of your mind, is probably worth it. I can’t miss the beach another day. I love the beach! I’m going even if my TMS brain and I have to duke it out.

“Fear is better than pain as a distractor. We must prove to our brains that we know what is going on, that we are not misled and, above all, that we are not intimidated or afraid. This is a contest, between our logical conscious and our irrational unconscious. It is truly a tale of two minds.” John Sarno

 

Claire Weekes says the anticipation of a trip is much worse than the trip...she says "make up your mind that you are going even if they have to carry you!" This might be a helpful thought to think of in terms of symptoms...your symptoms are trying to prevent you from moving/going. Tell them "I'm going even if I can't move. I'm going even if they have to carry me!" That'll teach 'em.

 

Check. I have been really scared, searched something on the forum and found my own answer to someone when I wasn't scared.

and you get good perspective from not smarting from some recent injustice which tends to distract us from the real underlying picture or trend or propensity.

That's what courage is. If I wasn't a little scared, It wouldn't take any courage. Ted Williams once said if you're not a little nervous stepping into the Batters Box, Quit playing Baseball...you don't love it anymore.

You go Girl!

 

Interesting thought! Keeping mean around as a distraction. Being distracted by other peoples’ behavior. I bet this is just as good as a physical symptom or fear.

 

Hi Diana, this passage raised a red flag when I read but I couldn't point out what it was. But let's think about the process in motion:
waking up with symptoms -> frustration -> using the forum as main tool for starting things up

You see, you're kind of conditioning your unconscious to send pain as an step of the getting outta bed routine.

I can't remember now who it was who explained TMS healing as making your life biger so TMS importance starts to look smaller and smaller, untill you're brain doesn't have any more reason to keep it on.

How about starting these days with a visualization about you having a great time on the beach, as if TMS never existed. Maybe this can help you start the day not having to cope with frustration first thing in the morning.

 

Not 'probably' worth it, but definitely worth it!

"Everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of fear." -George Addair

 

Yes! I have definitely read my old posts and thought "That's really good advice. I should follow it."

It's important for all of us to realize that just because we have achieved some level of understanding and wisdom at some point in time, doesn't mean we will carry it with us always. Some things have to be relearned because we forget. Now is the only time there is.

I realize, too, that I used to give much better advice than I do now. I've become removed from the immediacy of the struggle. My current posts can usually be summarized as "Damn it! Just let go of that shit!"

 

This gave me a good laugh!

Especially reading your own posts. Love it.

 

Thank you, @feduccini ! I love this suggestion. And I see what you are saying about the conditioning.

 

tms loves to humble me.

"oh yeah? you think you're good?!" then proceeds to throw something new.