Day 32 The last time I made a mistake

[DontStopBelieving]

I feel like I'm making mistakes every day and because I'm sensitive to even the smallest mistakes like rushing into replying to emails sometimes without thinking, forgetting things, sending an email with a spelling mistake... they accumulate in the form of anger, feeling ashamed and unwanted. I really don't like that about myself and am trying to accept the fact that it is normal to make mistakes, nobody is perfect and doesn't have to be perfect. These silly small things are not important and while I care about them too much, life is passing by. I think of myself as a person that makes mistakes every day, which is sad because even if I do, these are not mistakes that will make a difference or that are threatening to anything. They are part of being human. I know the problem lies deeper and that this is a conditioned response to being raised by parents who didn't award good behaviour but would punish any bad behaviour only.
My head has been telling me something is wrong in the last two days, I'm in the 'getting a bad headache' situation that has been going on for 2 days now. The headache lingers somewhere in the air. I also think the symptoms are there because I have been journaling about some pretty traumatic episodes in my life.

 

[Cat Lady 13]

I am hard on myself too. Always internally criticizing myself. I do own up to mistakes at work when it's obvious and then I always try to fix the problem if I created one. It's the stupid little things like you say. I think it's my inner child who didn't get the attention I deserved and had way too much responsibility as a child.