Its been a little less than two years since I've posted on the forums. And I've got many of my TMS symptoms coming back in the last few weeks, so I thought it would be good to return to this community.
A little history:
2 1/2 years ago I moved across the country with my then-husband for a job that I got on the east coast (after spending almost my entire life in western Washington). I had full-fledged panic disorder and TMS kick in the exact day we left, and battled with that for about 1.5 years. I found Sarno and the TMS Wiki about 6 months in and that helped tremendously. It felt like I had every symptom imaginable over that time: Started with back pain, then frequent panic attacks, chest pain, left arm pain, plantar fasciitis, dizziness/lightheadedness, brain fog, headaches, face pressure, acid reflux, heart palpitations, leg weakness. I was convinced I had all kind of diseases (from heart disease to brain tumors, classic hypochondria). I did the SEP 1.5 times (didn't get all the way through the first time), and they were very helpful, especially towards the end of the program. And then I was pretty much normal again and being fully involved in my life. I've continued to keep TMS in mind, and not freak out with pains here and there, but in the last year or so I've become more and more lax with journaling/meditating/keeping TMS principles in mind.
Currently:
Starting several weeks ago I started to get some of the head-related symptoms back (dizziness/vertigo-like, face and head pressure). And these are such familiar symptoms to me, probably the ones I'd had the longest and most recently, so I wasn't letting them get to me much. Now in the last week or two, I've started getting more of my old symptoms: chest pain and arm pain. And boy, has the TMS been doing a number on me this time. Instead of remembering I've had these EXACT symptoms before, I've been working myself into a frenzy about heart disease (which I have no personal or family history of whatsoever). I'm about 95% sure this is TMS, but the doubter in my head is really pushing this 5% worry into a panic. But I keep reminding myself they have all the hallmark signs of TMS:
They go away when I exercise/run.
They go away when my mind is fully occupied by something.
They seem to be worse when I'm sitting and/or quiet and thinking.
They move around. They come and go.
I also have ALL KINDS of reasons that TMS would be flaring up like crazy right now. About 7 months ago my husband cheated on me and left me without warning (complete surprise to me and everyone that knew us). My aunt died in April and my uncle is doing poorly. Another uncle committed suicide two weeks ago. I still live in the same town as my ex-husband, with few friends, and I don't like it here anymore. I reconnected with and old friend back home and while that has been positive, it has it's own stresses. I'm an academic post-doc and I'm at the point in my job where I have to start thinking about the next job (its a temporary position), so the need to push myself to get more done and have a strong resume is getting higher. While I love my dogs, taking care of them solo has been very stressful. And all I want to do is fly home and spend time with my family and friends.
So it surprised me that TMS was able to sneak up on me. But at the same time I still have strong moments of doubt, and I'm trying to work through that. So here I am
A little history:
2 1/2 years ago I moved across the country with my then-husband for a job that I got on the east coast (after spending almost my entire life in western Washington). I had full-fledged panic disorder and TMS kick in the exact day we left, and battled with that for about 1.5 years. I found Sarno and the TMS Wiki about 6 months in and that helped tremendously. It felt like I had every symptom imaginable over that time: Started with back pain, then frequent panic attacks, chest pain, left arm pain, plantar fasciitis, dizziness/lightheadedness, brain fog, headaches, face pressure, acid reflux, heart palpitations, leg weakness. I was convinced I had all kind of diseases (from heart disease to brain tumors, classic hypochondria). I did the SEP 1.5 times (didn't get all the way through the first time), and they were very helpful, especially towards the end of the program. And then I was pretty much normal again and being fully involved in my life. I've continued to keep TMS in mind, and not freak out with pains here and there, but in the last year or so I've become more and more lax with journaling/meditating/keeping TMS principles in mind.
Currently:
Starting several weeks ago I started to get some of the head-related symptoms back (dizziness/vertigo-like, face and head pressure). And these are such familiar symptoms to me, probably the ones I'd had the longest and most recently, so I wasn't letting them get to me much. Now in the last week or two, I've started getting more of my old symptoms: chest pain and arm pain. And boy, has the TMS been doing a number on me this time. Instead of remembering I've had these EXACT symptoms before, I've been working myself into a frenzy about heart disease (which I have no personal or family history of whatsoever). I'm about 95% sure this is TMS, but the doubter in my head is really pushing this 5% worry into a panic. But I keep reminding myself they have all the hallmark signs of TMS:
They go away when I exercise/run.
They go away when my mind is fully occupied by something.
They seem to be worse when I'm sitting and/or quiet and thinking.
They move around. They come and go.
I also have ALL KINDS of reasons that TMS would be flaring up like crazy right now. About 7 months ago my husband cheated on me and left me without warning (complete surprise to me and everyone that knew us). My aunt died in April and my uncle is doing poorly. Another uncle committed suicide two weeks ago. I still live in the same town as my ex-husband, with few friends, and I don't like it here anymore. I reconnected with and old friend back home and while that has been positive, it has it's own stresses. I'm an academic post-doc and I'm at the point in my job where I have to start thinking about the next job (its a temporary position), so the need to push myself to get more done and have a strong resume is getting higher. While I love my dogs, taking care of them solo has been very stressful. And all I want to do is fly home and spend time with my family and friends.
So it surprised me that TMS was able to sneak up on me. But at the same time I still have strong moments of doubt, and I'm trying to work through that. So here I am
