Day 18 Take a look at your journal entries. What emotions are most prevalent?

[lylylys]

A perfect time to answer this question since I discovered a few important emotions yesterday. At first when I was journaling I didn’t feel that much. I became aware of lots of stress and problems that had been in my life, but I didn’t feel them bothering me. However, yesterday I wrote a dialogue between my mother and me. At some point I Did feel I was annoyed about it, there was almost an angry feeling! Looking back, I shouldn’t have stopped writing after 10 minutes, but still I am very happy that I felt something.

Besides, about a month ago I was watching a tv programme and someone used the word ‘auto’ (car in Dutch). There are two ways to pronounce it: au-to or o-to. I always learnt to say o-to, but my ‘friends’ in high school tried to convince me it is definitely au-to. But that is not true, both ways are correct! This is one example of not being fully accepted by those people in high school. And that is still bothering me.

That feeling of ‘not being good enough’, not being fully accepted and being able to be just myself is the core of all those other negative feelings. It is the cause of being perfectionistic, being insecure and other things. I am very happy that I have discovered this, I feel I’m on the right track.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi. It does look like perfectionism is your bogeyman. I'm writing a book on famous people having relationship problems and many of them say it is because they want to be a perfect mother, wife, employee, or friend. Most of them say they have learned from hard experience to be easier on themselves. They say they are becoming happier with themselves. I hope you can modify your perfectionism so you can be one of the happy people. Accept you are and be glad of it.

Have a wonderful holiday weekend and be grateful for your blessings.