Symptoms flare up over financial issues

[Davideus85]

I’ve been having huge financial issues, which I’m not use to. Just yesterday, I found out just how horrible my situation is, and it caused a surge of stress and fear to come over me. Money issues make me feel very vulnerable and threatened and alone. I talked to a few good friends about it, who said they also deal with financial issues big time, and it stresses them out too, and that I’m not the only one. So I think to myself “Oh ok, this is normal. I really shouldn’t be reacting the way I do, a lot of people deal with this. I have to make some sacrifices and changes, but it ’s just life” and I felt some relief. I mean this is literally one of the most common pr problems in the world. However I noticed since my TMS symptoms have. Flared up BIG TIME - to the point where it’s unbearable. So I’m wondering…am I just using intellectualization and rationalization to cover up how I really feel? How do I know when I’m just “accepting what is” and when I’m actually suppressing what I feel? In the back of my mind things like financial issues always bother me, whether I admit it or not, to the point where I will go out of my way NOT to check my bank account balance. When I do check it, it causes my anxiety to surge BIG time when I realize just how much, lets say, debt, I have. I say to myself “There’s not really anything I can do about this right now, so why worry about it? Worry/Anxiety = More TMS. It’s so sneaky and hard to know the proper way to respond. My symptoms are mainly psychological in nature, aka depression anxiety and OCD, but also debilitating migraines and IBS, so I find the best way to deal with those is not set them off by stressing out over my problems or having a fit. Stress is the main thing that seems to set them off and make them worse.

Also I would like to add I’ve been binge reading blogs on tms for many hours a day, desperately trying to find the solution and get better. I’ll journal everything I learn down…but it never ends. I feel the obsessive need to keep reading, to the point where it literally stresses my mind out. But I keep pushing myself to keep reading. I keep thinking the more knowledge I have = the better off I am. The result ironically is my symptoms end up getting much worse and I’m left with horrible anxiety and OCD. I am a major overthinker and overanalyze the shit out of everything and I find that the more I read just leans me into an endless rabbit trail from hell that never ever ends and just sensitizes my already traumatized and overtaxed nervous system. When does the “Search for the Answer” ever end?


Any insights would be very much welcome.

 

[parker.299]

This was super relatable honestly. I feel like journaling your thoughts on the situation might be helpful, writing down everything and gaining that clarity could be super useful figure out how you want to proceed going forward. It could be something as simple as expressing your frustration on the page or making a list of things in your control and outside of your control, or whatever else might help you. Hopefully by doing so you find your true thoughts and emotions come out and hopefully it'll help with the internal struggle you face regarding how you feel you should be reacting to everything happening. I am not an expert by any means, but I hope you at least found this helpful. Good luck to you with everything!!! And if you ever need someone to message about this stuff my messenger is open!

 

[JanAtheCPA]

I don't think I have a lot to add to @parker.299's excellent response! I was going to say essentially the same thing. Write about the rage and resentment of being in this situation.

But (and this is a big BUT) you must also find compassion for yourself. The first piece of compassion must be that it's not just okay to express the rage, it's essential to accept it.