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Symptom imperative shift roller coaster

R

Ryan

Well known member
I thought I was on my last leg of healing, then it hit me hard. My tms has shifted from upper back and neck pain to pounding headaches, anxiety(through the roof at times), and beating myself up. The doubt then fills my mind and its as if I don't know what to do. Then I try so hard to figure out what's causing it and I try so hard to make the anxiety leave. I try to dig in my unconscious more by journaling thinking there is something else I need to uncover to heal. I try to meditate but feel like I cannot with how my mind is racing. I have some crazy thoughts that come into my mind and then the doubt takes over that maybe I will not heal. I just need some support and any techniques I should use. I have done the SEP, read "Great Pain Deception", am about to start reading Claire Weekes book as soon as I finish "Forgive for Good".

Ryan
 
Ryan, sorry you are going through this. I know many of us have been there and it is so hard not to feel the pressure and question yourself when the pain comes on strong in another place. Stick with this and it will get better. When it is really intense, I like to think of small ways to make it a little more manageable. Take the pressure off any way you can and one of the ways you can do that is don't look for an immediate solution or answer. What can you do right now in this moment to make it just a little bit less? When my anxiety kicks in really strong, instead of resisting it now and trying to make it go away, I carefully observe what is going on inside and I tell it that it is okay to be. Symptom by symptom... racing heart, hello(then I allow myself to feel it) you are okay to be. I accept it. I did not make this up. I saw it on a video on this site and it really works. My anxiety is sooooooo much better. Headaches are really the worst and the hardest for me to deal with. Its really hard to not think about the pain when your head is pounding. Those are the times you just got to get through it and not add a bunch of stress thinking about how you won't ever heal. Notice that you are having those thoughts and then direct your thoughts to something more positive or at least neutral. Don't beat yourself up for having doubts or negative thoughts. Figure out ways to be kind to yourself and do the things that have always made you happy in the past, even if it seems impossible to enjoy them now. When I first started working on this I would get angry at the thought of doing something that made me happy. How can you be happy in pain?? But the more I forced myself to do the things that I always traditionally loved, the less important the pain became. I am not completely painfree, but I am so much happier than I was before and the pain is not the driving force anymore. You can meditate for ten minutes a day and it is okay if your mind is racing. Just notice that and keep doing it. This will pass and you will get better. And I highly recommend Alan Gordon's program on this site.
 
Hi Ryan,

I can very much relate to what you are going through with the symptom imperative. About 2.5 months ago after spending a year working on healing my TMS, I was finally free of the chronic pain I'd had for 20 years (fibromyalgia) and the migraines I'd had frequently for 50 years. I was literally beginning to write my success story to post on the Forum, when I was hit by the TMS equivalents of depression and severe allergy symptoms (not real allergies, as I'd been tested and ruled this out in the past). I was also 'beating myself up' relentlessly. And even though I knew it was TMS, I felt very helpless in doing anything about it.

This is what I've learned about the symptom imperative through this experience--the symptoms that pop up will always present themselves as very different from your previous TMS symptoms, in that you believe that the techniques used effectively to triumph over the previous symptoms cannot work for these new symptoms. Our unconscious brain is so good at creating these distractions.

Anne's advice is excellent. I have especially found the technique of allowing instead of resisting to be beneficial. Here is a link to some free guided meditations. I have effectively used a similar one to the 'Soften, Soothe, and Allow' meditation at this site to address headaches.

http://www.mindfulselfcompassion.org/meditations_downloads.php

Wishing you the best....
 
Hi, E;len. I just went to the web site you suggested for Mindful Self Compassion and listened to the one on meditation and breathing.
I had been a little stressed but after listening to that video feel much more relaxed. I like the man's soothing voice.
I had a nasty headache and it's almost gone.

I saved the web site to my desktop for more viewing. Thanks very much.
 
I must give credit where it is due. I got that website from Msunn. Isn't our community great! So glad it was helpful.
 
You're so honest, Ellen. Thanks for acknowledging that Msunn put you on to the Christopher Germer book and audios.
I was very impressed with the first one I listened to, on meditation and breathing. That has always been a big help to me,
and now I know even better how to practice it. I am going to write a thread about his book and the audios.
 
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