suggestions for rewards

[blackdog]

Hi,

I would like to know what some of you do to reward yourselves after exercising, which I have seen offered as a means of reinforcing to our brains that we have done something good for ourselves and to offset the fear (changing neural pathways). As I try not to eat sugar and white flour kinds of things due to stress and sleep, all of those good yummies are off the table. So, I'm having a hard time coming up with alternatives. What have some of you done to reward yourselves? Thanks,

Andrew

 

[Peggy]

I have a thick shake, almond milk, yogurt, a little honey or juice from concentrate, bananas and raspberries. I also add a good bacteria pill (pb8). If I am on the go I have almonds (which aren't my favorite) and watermelon, which is really yummy after a workout. I tried adding protein powder to my shake, but that doesn't agree with my stomach. Some gyms sell healthy shakes at the gym. I don't really consider it a reward, I just like to eat healthy as often as I can, especially after the gym. Dr. Sarno says to do something you love, I view this as an opportunity to eat something you love. I guess that is a reward in itself.

 

[blackdog]

Thank you Peggy. One of the things that would benefit me is coming up with enjoyable activities (as you said that Dr. Sarno recommended doing things you love). I have always been so preoccupied that I have not developed hobbies (when I was younger it was running, lifting, biking, but those things went away with the pain, so it may take some time to get them back). I think having hobbies would be great both as giving myself something enjoyable as well as something to take my mind off of myself, but it is difficult to see how to begin finding them. There are so many options plus I generally have such a perfectionistic bent that it is difficult for me to learn new things without feeling very uncomfortable, because I want to be good at them right away. The learning time is usually a painful time, so another reason that I have not developed them. But I know this is important. Thank you,

Andrew

 

[Peggy]

Andrew: Reviewing ones life is a good thing, but the trick is to not overthink and not to be hard on yourself. I am guessing you were criticized a lot as a child so you have developed these self-criticism tendencies. It's perfectly ok not to do something perfect. The best soccer player in the world misses the goal more often than he makes it. If learning a new activity is painful, then take the painful out of it, every time you feel the pain (or self-criticism) use that as an opportunity for positive self talk, getting past your painful past.

I was also thinking that now as we (you, me and all tms people) get rid of our pain, it's time to challenge ourselves in ways we haven't before, like finding an activity we love, not what we were told to do as kids. We have to break down the walls that stopped us from doing what we wanted to do and have a little fun. This whole conversation has gotten away from what to eat after an activity . . .

 

[Steve Ozanich]

Make sure whatever you decide, that you do it soon after movement, and that you visualize the movement as you accept the reward. Associate the two/condition the pattern, or delayed-reinforcement occurs. Remember, pleasure deferred creates tension (Freud/Froyd).

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Great advice, Steve, as always.

When my Inner Bully says I can't do something, I just DO IT.
I always feel better for doing something challenging, no matter what it is or even if it brings pain.

 

[Steve Ozanich]

One reward that helped me during my healing was simply being able to sit in quiet. I never had any times in my life that I wasn't planning, thinking, worrying, etc. So to be able to sit and watch the sun set, or to watch look at the trees was a great reward for me, and very peaceful. I only wanted peace in my life, not turmoil, but I got the turmoil. What we do with the strife is what makes the difference.

 

[blake]

When we have strong inner critics, as is my case, it can be difficult to listen to ourselves and just do what makes us feel really good to reward ourselves for a job well done. I know for me, the shoulds would often get in the way. I needed to learn to quiet those voices a bit before rediscovering what feels good. Sometimes it's a massage or calling a friend, other times it's having a nap or buying myself a new article of clothing. The shift came for me when I started giving myself permission to feel good. I also give myself huge pats on the back before, during and after exercise session. Not only does that make the experience itself a lot more positive, it only makes me want to go back and do it again because I know I'll get feel-good messages from myself.