Struggling to Stay on Track with the TMS Approach

I've been dealing with anal discomfort for years. I've tried the TMS approach and, at times, I truly feel convinced that it's the cause—there are moments when I can clearly see the connection between stress, emotions, and the sensations. But then there are other times when it feels undeniably physical, and I start to doubt everything again.

That’s been the hardest part for me: staying consistently convinced that it’s TMS. From what I understand, this conviction is essential. Doubt, and the tendency to treat it physically, seems to undermine the process. But when you feel this discomfort daily—often multiple times a day—it’s incredibly difficult not to fall back into old patterns of fear, doubt, and searching for a structural explanation.

I’ve been living like this for years now. Even though I try to carry on with life, it’s something that bothers me often throughout the day. I guess I’m just reaching out to share where I’m at with this. Maybe others have been in the same spot—caught between moments of clarity and waves of confusion.

 

This is typical TMS trying to make you doubt that it's actually TMS and that you need to believe 100% or else! I am assuming you have seen a doctor and been told there is "nothing wrong." At this point it's time to do the TMS work. You mentioned that you've tried the TMS approach. What are you doing to help work with the emotions and learning more about TMS? Have you tried the SEP program on this site?

But to answer your main question-you don't have to believe 100% that's it's TMS. In fact, I've had new pain come up that I've never dealt with before, went to the doctor, and then been told there is nothing wrong and immediately knew it was TMS pulling a fast one on me! So you can even mistaken that something is wrong for a little bit and then realize it is TMS! But it's time now to stop doubting and start of program of some kind that helps you deal with your emotions as you learn more about TMS. I highly recommend the SEP if you haven't started it yet.

 

Unfortunately this is a part of the game. I’m assuming you’ve been check out medically and nothing was found. When you say it feels physical, that doesn’t preclude it from being TMS. The brain creates literally every sensation that we feel, and even in the instance of TMS, physiological changes happen, whether through immune response or muscle tension etc.

The issue here is that you’re caught in the loop. Make some progress, have a flare up, panic, start obsessively researching and scanning your body, symptom settle and repeat. I’m not saying it’s easy, it’s not, especially in areas of our body that we are naturally sensitive with. But you’re going to have to change the way you perceive and respond to the flare ups. They’re your ticket out of this. They’re when you’re going to have to ground down, respond calmly and talk to yourself in a kind way, that means no catastrophizing, no researching, no obsessing.

As joule mentioned you definitely want to examine the underlying emotions and thought patterns and traumas that have contributed to throwing your nervous system over the threshold. But you can do a lifetime of emotional work and not change how you react to the symptoms and thus never see any progress. Both need to be done.

And yes I’ve been where you are at. Scrotal discomfort was my first chronic symptom and as soon as I learned about TMS I believe almost 100% that that’s what it was. And that resolved pretty much entirely just from responding better to the sensations. I developed TMJ shortly after becoming TMS aware in February and pretty much went through what you describe, believing it to be TMS and wavering and panicking at the pain and think it being structural. But now I’m back towards nearing 100% belief, and I’ve actually made some progress during the flare ups, mainly in how I respond to them and not constantly scanning my body, touching my jaw, adjusting my jaw etc.

you also should keep an evidence log if possible. I’ll share an anecdote of good evidence example. I was training a dog this morning and talking a lot, my jaw started spasming, issues talking p-stuttering mumbling etc, obviously discomfort increases and some fear, whatever I responded well. While biking home from training I got hit by a car (was fine but my bike got messed up), I kinda turned into a rabid animal screaming at the person (they were driving the wrong way lol), no issues with my jaw whatsoever, no mumbling. Would that be possible if it was a true structural issue? You need to find those moments, does the pain go away when you’re having fun or talking with someone you care about? Does it go away in the bath or when exercising? Does the pain move, is it gone when you first wake up? Find those moments and latch on to them. Embrace the flare ups and be kind to yourself, gas yourself up how resilient you are.

 

Oh my gosh @Rabscuttle I'm glad you are ok!!

@okaoka I second making the evidence list. That really kept my belief going when I started doing the SEP.

 

You don't need to consistently believe - it's a lot of self pressure to think you are "wrong" or not "good enough" to be successful when you have a doubtful thought. However you need to consistently do the work, over time and incorporate it into your lifestyle to help reduce these thoughts.
An evidence list is excellent - as is the insight and understanding it brings to your habits, thought and stress patterns as well as triggers. That's the very beginning of the work. @Rabscuttle is very correct in their assessment of the circles of doom thinking one can get caught up in. The fear/pain cycle can be a hampster wheel for TMS.
If you've either not done TMS work or you haven't done it in awhile, I suggest you begin the SEP, free here at TMSWIKI.org and either learn or refresh yourself on the skills you need to deal with TMS - begin to recognize when you hop on that hamster wheel and let those thoughts play out a bit. Allow yourself to feel the fear and frustration.
Then decide whether you are going to keep living in that state of mind, or if you can picture yourself completely and wholey well, doing all the things you might choose to do if you had no symptoms. You want to balance feeling all the hard crappy stuff and leaning into your subconscious anger (and other hard feelings) sources as well as finding ways to enjoy life while you do this work.

 

Here’s some major wisdom!

That’s terrible! My gosh, I’m glad you’re ok!

 

So glad you're okay, @Rabscuttle! What a way to build your TMS-evidence! Add that one to your sheet in BOLD CAPS!