Strengthening the mind + Regaining language

[Tirian]

Hello all,

I have struggled with PPD symptoms my entire life, but the last 10 years have been rough, with at least one incident of trauma that still affects me. Presenting mostly as physical pain (which morphed/coincided with depression, anxiety, and things of a psychological nature), I am slowly improving - yet I need more guidance.

I have one general and one specific question. I would appreciate any thoughts on either (or both) of them.

1) I am committing to reducing my attack on PPD symptoms and instead try to focus on healing. I believe strengthening my mind is a good place to go. However, I would like to get input from those who have struggled with PPD, PTSD, etc. What have you found is the best way to strengthen your mind? Again, I would like to focus on health and growth and moving on with my life, so I want to phrase this as "I commit to strengthening my mind," instead of a symptoms-focused approach I would always employ, such as "I need to strengthen my mind so I don't get x pain or y psychological symptom." I enjoy reading the psychological books, but I want to implement changes and solutions instead of just improving intellectual knowledge about the brain, body, and mind. Dr. Schubiner's books have been tremendous help to me, but if anyone has specific suggestions, I would gladly receive them.

2) The effects of trauma have, so it seems, damaged the language acquisition portion of the brain. (pp43-44 of the paperback edition of The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Van Der Kolk might be helpful to review here. He talks about trauma-induced damage to Broca's area of the brain.) Again, while I need to learn more about the brain and PPD, my goal is to not focus on the symptoms and instead pursue and implement solutions. Has anyone suffered from PPD/PTSD language deficiency and then improved? Have you heard of someone who has? If so, what were the steps that you took to improve? The way I present this symptom is an extreme difficulty in getting my thoughts and feelings out verbally. I am in the process of losing an important relationship due to this difficulty and am committed to getting my mind to a better place. Being able to truly articulate my thoughts and feelings is exceedingly difficult for me, yet is exceedingly important for me to improve.

Thank you so much for reading.

Take care

 

[Cactusflower]

You can try the unsent letter method from Dr.Schubiner’s book, but instead GIVE the person the letter. I was asked to do this by a therapist and it was an amazing experience. My letter was sent to a dying friend and no matter what happens in your relationship it will provide you peace of mind that you will have been heard. I even wrote about how her personality traits that others may not have always liked, were things I admired! If sentences are hard, just use bullet points, or try writing a poem or haiku.. have fun with it!

2nd you mention trauma and ptsd a lot - to me that’s “symptom” and you need to get your mind out of this hold it has on you. You are playing the victim through it. Most people on this forum have had some sort of trauma or their brain has interpreted some life experience as such. So how do you do it?
Stop reading and “researching”. Your mind is using the seeking of knowledge as a distraction from doing the real work. The real work is transforming your perception of self to be true. You are not your past, you are not your trauma - they are only your experiences. Stop looking at books to search for more symptoms to show you how “damaged” you are. From what you have written, you communicate VERY well! Your bigger problem may simply be giving yourself permission to express the real you!
You have so much knowledge and now you have to implement it by living, and utilize what you’ve learned in daily life.
Make a list about the things you like about you-not based on judgements or what anyone else thinks of you. Can’t do that? Ask someone you trust what they like about you and write it down. Keep adding to your list over time.
Begin a list of things you love to do and begin doing them in some way. Find out you actually don’t like doing it but you thought you should: strike it off the list! These lists and Schubiner’s guides to journaling can help you see the real you. It will help you like and love yourself.
The lists help you begin to see your beauty and power instead of focusing on fixing “flaws”. Actually you begin to see you are not flawed at all, just human.