Somewhat scared of a symptom free life

[Jojo61]

Yesterday while reading the divided mind I came to the realization that I'm afraid of living without pain/symptoms. My symptoms are much less since finding out about TMS and working on and finishing the SEP. But I'm having crazy symptom imperative. It jumps from one place in my body to the next. Annoying...

I've had health problems for so long, I don't really know who I will be without them... Also I feel like without my symptoms I will be able to do so much more (because I won't have the excuse that I'm in to much pain). And I'm afraid that the people around me (and me myself) will expect me to do much more. And I feel stressed about that.

I'm a stay at home mom with one child and I'm always busy. I don't know how other mothers with more than one child handle it all (r-e-s-p-e-c-t!). My days are full as it is.

I feel like this is holding me back from recovering more than anything else... Has anyone else had this experience? Any tips on overcoming this hurdle?

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Being afraid of what life would be like without any pain reminds me of a friend who said he had that feeling
after paying off all his credit cards. He stopped getting mail from credit card companies and said he kind of missed not getting them.

I think life will keep giving us TMS for one reason or another and it will show up as a pain symptom in one place or another. I accept that and am prepared to put TMS healing techniques to practice.

 

[David88]

Hi Jojo,

Yes, I have that feeling often. Pain can be hard to give up. After all, it's there for a reason. It will only go away when we find a better way of meeting our needs.

I would start with saying "To hell with what other people expect. It's my life."

Don't denigrate yourself for having 'only' one child. One child is a huge responsibility. If you choose to devote yourself fully to one, if that's what works best for you, perfect. Who would dare question such a personal choice?

It's the people-pleasing in us TMSers that gets us into trouble. It's a hard habit to break. We're so hard on ourselves, expect so much from ourselves. The antidote, I think, is learning self-compassion and listening more to our own needs.

I've been working on it for a long time, but I'm getting better at it.

David.

 

[575]

I think it's amazing that you can actually feel the cause of your TMS.
I knew it was kinda the same situation for me,
supressed fear of finishing school and doing grown up stuff caused pain so that I'd have an excuse not to move on,
but I never felt it.

 

[Jojo61]

Walt, David88 and 575, thanks for your reply's! I will keep working on meeting my own needs and stop caring about other people's opinions. David, there are quite a few people in my life who have no problem questioning me about personal choices like that... Might in part be my fault for letting them for years... No more!

 

[mdh157]

Hi Jojo,

Yes, I have that feeling often. Pain can be hard to give up. After all, it's there for a reason. It will only go away when we find a better way of meeting our needs.

I would start with saying "To hell with what other people expect. It's my life."

Don't denigrate yourself for having 'only' one child. One child is a huge responsibility. If you choose to devote yourself fully to one, if that's what works best for you, perfect. Who would dare question such a personal choice?

It's the people-pleasing in us TMSers that gets us into trouble. It's a hard habit to break. We're so hard on ourselves, expect so much from ourselves. The antidote, I think, is learning self-compassion and listening more to our own needs.

I've been working on it for a long time, but I'm getting better at it.

David.

Excellent post David!