Some progress, by doing "nothing"

[cafe_bustelo]

Recently I had a flare that lasted a while. Weirdly (or not so weirdly) the way I got out of it was to actually just say fuck it and go through a day not avoiding anything.

I just realized I had been avoiding so many things, which were all small things but had started to add up in the background and I think this was generating a lot of fear. Being in the flare made me even more scared to do anything that would possibly affect my nervous system. Don't drink any coffee, it might hype you up too much; don't go to the cafe and read a book, you might have a symptom and have to leave; don't socialize, you might get anxious and have a flare that lasts days.

I also was pressuring myself a lot to do TMS-related recovery activities. Running, swimming, meditating/somatic tracking 2-3x a day, journaling (or not doing these things but stressing out about not being consistent). This was good at first, as these methods did reduce my fear, but now I think I'm getting the hang of self-soothing and "somatic tracking" (or really just reducing my fear of symptoms) without needing to rigorously structure my healing routine, or have one at all.

Whenever I have symptoms I ask myself what I'm feeling and what my brain/body is trying to tell me. I remember to breathe. I am finally understanding what it means to "lean in" to sensations—for me it feels like accepting them as a part of me, in a nurturing way, as strange as that sounds.

Anyway I'm still taking it slowly but I'm removing these phony safeguards and so far it's going great, I've had several basically pain-free days now in a row despite drinking coffee, doing things I like to do for fun, etc. I know it's a bumpy road and I don't expect things to be perfect going forward but it seems that just taking a simpler approach is going better for me.

I think I'm beginning to understand that all of the TMS experts are basically saying the same thing, which is that you just need to reduce your fear and you'll get better, and the various tools are just ways of teaching your brain how to generate a feeling of safety for yourself—even when you're so scared. And this means that a religious commitment to a particular method may be what one person needs, but it also definitely isn't the only way.

 

[BloodMoon]

I think I'm beginning to understand that all of the TMS experts are basically saying the same thing, which is that you just need to reduce your fear and you'll get better, and the various tools are just ways of teaching your brain how to generate a feeling of safety for yourself

Yes! Whether it's Sarno or PRT, it's all about a fearful brain creating symptoms and learning how to feel safer again.

And this means that a religious commitment to a particular method may be what one person needs, but it also definitely isn't the only way.

Yep, a “religious commitment” to a particular method can help some people but for others it just creates more pressure and stress, which adds even more tension.

Recently I had a flare that lasted a while. Weirdly (or not so weirdly) the way I got out of it was to actually just say fuck it and go through a day not avoiding anything.

This is exactly what Dr Sarno advised: to return to and get on with normal life, despite the symptoms, as best you can. It sends a really clear message to the brain that you know you're safe, so the game is up and there’s no point in creating symptoms anymore.

You got this!

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

Recently I had a flare that lasted a while. Weirdly (or not so weirdly) the way I got out of it was to actually just say fuck it and go through a day not avoiding anything.

I just realized I had been avoiding so many things, which were all small things but had started to add up in the background and I think this was generating a lot of fear. Being in the flare made me even more scared to do anything that would possibly affect my nervous system. Don't drink any coffee, it might hype you up too much; don't go to the cafe and read a book, you might have a symptom and have to leave; don't socialize, you might get anxious and have a flare that lasts days.

I also was pressuring myself a lot to do TMS-related recovery activities. Running, swimming, meditating/somatic tracking 2-3x a day, journaling (or not doing these things but stressing out about not being consistent). This was good at first, as these methods did reduce my fear, but now I think I'm getting the hang of self-soothing and "somatic tracking" (or really just reducing my fear of symptoms) without needing to rigorously structure my healing routine, or have one at all.

Whenever I have symptoms I ask myself what I'm feeling and what my brain/body is trying to tell me. I remember to breathe. I am finally understanding what it means to "lean in" to sensations—for me it feels like accepting them as a part of me, in a nurturing way, as strange as that sounds.

Anyway I'm still taking it slowly but I'm removing these phony safeguards and so far it's going great, I've had several basically pain-free days now in a row despite drinking coffee, doing things I like to do for fun, etc. I know it's a bumpy road and I don't expect things to be perfect going forward but it seems that just taking a simpler approach is going better for me.

I think I'm beginning to understand that all of the TMS experts are basically saying the same thing, which is that you just need to reduce your fear and you'll get better, and the various tools are just ways of teaching your brain how to generate a feeling of safety for yourself—even when you're so scared. And this means that a religious commitment to a particular method may be what one person needs, but it also definitely isn't the only way.

Well done that's brilliant! I related a lot to your paragraphs about TMS-related activities. You are letting the fear take care of itself by getting back into life, which arguably is the best strategy in terms of sending the message to your brain that there really isn't anything wrong, pain or no pain!

 

[Alouqua47]

Hi, I can see that you’re doing well and that you’re even having good days, maybe without flare-ups. That hasn’t really happened to me yet. For me, there always seems to be something going on — maybe because the nature of my pain itself feels a bit scary.
I wanted to ask you something. Since you started, have you noticed real improvements that make you feel confident this is actually working, or do you think it’s mostly just normal fluctuations? Before you began, did you have more pain overall, more days with pain, more flare-ups, or more symptoms in general? In other words, is there any clear sign that tells you this is genuinely improving your situation?
I also wanted to ask if there was any symptom that really scared you — something that was hard to overcome — and whether it has gone away or at least decreased over time.

 

[cafe_bustelo]

Since you started, have you noticed real improvements that make you feel confident this is actually working, or do you think it’s mostly just normal fluctuations?

I have been having more and more days with symptoms below the threshold of what I would consider a "flare" for me. I would not say I'm having any perfectly pain-free days yet, but I have days where the pain doesn't prevent me from doing anything I want to do and where I feel generally good throughout the day with only a few instances of significant discomfort. I realize it's not what you want to hear but the more powerful and noticeable shift for me has been the gradual reduction in fear, to where I can't imagine being as scared of my symptoms as I used to be, though I still have a little ways to go there.

Before you began, did you have more pain overall, more days with pain, more flare-ups, or more symptoms in general? In other words, is there any clear sign that tells you this is genuinely improving your situation?

Yes. I haven't been tracking my symptoms day to day, and the progress hasn't been linear, but overall I would say after two months or so of going from not doing any mind-body work to learning about it, reading several books, and starting to put the methods into practice I have significantly less pain on a daily basis. But again, it becomes less about the pain and more about the fear of pain, and fear of what it means.

I also wanted to ask if there was any symptom that really scared you — something that was hard to overcome — and whether it has gone away or at least decreased over time.

Yes, many. The fear I felt when I started to have symptoms was greater than any fear I have ever felt in my life. My symptoms have never been exactly the same one day to the next, which is great evidence that it's TMS, but also frustrating to talk about because I'm always describing something different when someone asks how I'm doing. I know it's obnoxious of me to say this but I'm not going to go into detail here on what symptoms I have had exactly, because I don't think that's useful for either of us. The crazier the symptoms, the more likely it's TMS. The focus on what it is and what it means medically is only going to make you go further into doubt. That said, it's important to focus on the evidence that it *is* TMS. Try to actively replace your thoughts of "what if it's X" with "this is why it's not X, and why TMS explains my symptoms much better."

I have actually found some success stories that match my symptoms pretty much perfectly, and while that gave me hope initially that it is possible and likely to recover from these symptoms, it wasn't particularly useful outside of that; I've found more useful advice in success stories that didn't match my symptoms at all. Everyone's recovery is different.