Day 5 Severe reactions during meditation / breathwork

[gunttta]

So my symptoms decrease after doing any kind of breathwork / meditation / distraction in general. I do this for one hour every day.

During breathwork, especially during breath retention, when I’m sliding into my subconsciousness, I get visual images of “letting go of certain traumas”, then I truly believe I’m safe and I do see the end of the tunnel. However, during this experience I also have uncontrollable body shaking, convulsions, crying, pins and needles and my symptoms are 10x worse.

Do you think these things can increase my fear because my body reacts that way and my brain immediately jumps to protect it?

Would love to hear your insights, as I don’t wanna do things that can make the brain even more fearful, however I understand, that letting go is good.

Since learning about TMS, I developed a new symptom too - invisible goosebumps- right after reading Sarno’s book, but it could be related to my breathwork experience.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Do you think these things can increase my fear because my body reacts that way and my brain immediately jumps to protect it?

@gunttta, if I say that this question is the same as the question of "which came first, the chicken or the egg?" does that analogy translate for you?

You describe having increased symptoms that are obviously related to the emotional work you are doing. To keep things really simple, this is the only truly important thing to accept. Whether your body is doing X, and therefore your brain does Y or then maybe your body follows back with Z doesn't really matter in the long run.

However, I can tell you, from my understanding (as a retired tax accountant, not a neurologist), that doing this emotional release and bringing old trauma into your conscious mind, can definitely cause old fear and anxiety to resurface. Your autonomic nervous system responds to your fear exactly as if you have seen a sabre-tooth tiger that wants to eat you, because it's too primitive to know that no such tiger exists in the safety of your life.

YOUR job is to continue doing what you're doing, which is assuring your poor primitive brain that this is no longer true, and that even though it's scary, that you can't actually die from allowing the old traumas to surface, and that it could help you if you let that happen.

I don’t wanna do things that can make the brain even more fearful,

This is a false concern. Are you doing anything that physically threatens your life? If not, then there's no reason to believe that anything emotional, which occurs while you are safe at home, can "make" your brain be permanently more fearful. This is all under your control.

There are only a two ways to "make" your brain be more fearful:
1. Actually engage in a physically dangerous activity, or
2. Choose to give up and give in to fear and anxiety.

Note that if you are engaging in a physically dangerous activity it is entirely appropriate for your brain to be fearful! This is the reason why the vast majority of human beings can continuously operate enormous killing machines on our roads and highways, mostly without slaughtering each other - our appropriate fear of dire physical consequences keeps us safe the majority of the time, right?

Someone who is inappropriately too fearful will live in #2 and miss out on the freedom offered by motorized transport.

I suppose that going to a horror movie or going on a really scary roller coaster might be other ways to "make" your brain be more fearful, but in reality, those two activities are not life threatening, therefore the response by your brain is entirely under YOUR control,which means they also fall under #2 above.

It sounds like you're doing good work. Dont push it, don't be too rigid, and relax your self-imposed rules. Also give yourself a break for self-compassion.