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See the habits and allow time to pass

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by dlane2530, Aug 16, 2025 at 5:31 PM.

  1. dlane2530

    dlane2530 Well known member

    I've been thinking a lot about the 100% acceptance thing. Many people say here that you don't have to start with 100% acceptance, and I think that's right. One thing I wanted to share from my experience over 2025 so far is that actually, there can be a real deepening of belief that happens over time. You start where you are, you start where you start, and then you just really must allow time to roll onward. You can't hurry the process. So frustrating, but I really think it's true.

    So hear this: There's nothing wrong if you aren't at 100% belief yet! You're still on your way! There's nothing wrong with you!

    But what I came on here to say was that as I get better and as my own convictions about the source of my symptoms grow through simple experience, I am also becoming better able to see the habits of thought and response that I have that lead to symptoms. It used to be, for example, that if I laid awake at night for hours with adrenaline coursing through my body, I would descend all the way into despair about "Why can't I sleep? What is going to become of me? Am I really this unloved?" But now I'm so much more often able to see that that response was the habit fueling the adrenaline. It's gotten so much easier not to despair. (And let me tell you, the despair was deep and nearly constant.)

    I'm also much better at noticing now the ways that my habits want to pull me back into roles that were fueling TMS rather than serving the good. For example, taking on too much of a caretaking role for my adult brother. He just moved into a new house and I had to stop myself approximately 10 times from offering to clean the house for him -- and this after spending all day helping the previous owners move out and him move in. He can clean his own house. I have a pattern of thinking that if I sacrifice myself constantly for others, eventually they will come to appreciate me and reciprocate with care for me. But actually, more often what happens is that my sacrifice is taken for granted.

    I'm the only one who can take myself out of that pattern.

    What's new here is the noticing. It's like I can more often observe the urge to follow an old, bad pattern rather than just reflexively follow that pattern.

    I've been reading some of the posts from new people here and I've noticed that people often are having difficulty accepting TMS because the TMS techniques are not just curing them all of a sudden, or maybe don't feel like they're working at all, or help sometimes but not other times. I think it takes TIME to get to where you can even observe some of your habits, much less change them. You have to learn these skills if you're used to suppressing yourself!

    I wonder to myself how many old patterns I'm still following that I can't even see yet!

    But please don't give up. Go through the fire! As Claire Weekes says, you must allow time to pass.
     
  2. Diana-M

    Diana-M Beloved Grand Eagle

    Dixie,
    I absolutely love this post! And I relate so much to everything you said! ❤️ It’s great being here with you as you grow and awaken to being truly kind to yourself.
     
    dlane2530 likes this.
  3. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Nice! Bookmarked!
     
    dlane2530 likes this.
  4. dlane2530

    dlane2530 Well known member

    Aw, thanks @Diana-M and @JanAtheCPA ! You both have helped me so much through this forum!
     
    JanAtheCPA and Diana-M like this.

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