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Day 6 Second post for the day - Meditation

B

blackdog

Peer Supporter
The meditation felt awesome. I do meditate on my own once or twice a day, but the journaling session for the day had been quite revealing and emotional for me. I journaled on being hit on my hip by a car when I was 10 and did it from the perspective of my child. He wanted to know why the person had not stopped to check on him, that he could not tell his parents what happened because when he did not know how to do things (like cross the street in a new town after having moved from a country setting) he was berated or treated as stupid (not that they implicitly knew they were doing that) and that he further lost trust in people from this experience. It was quite revealing and I was surprised by how much I cried. The meditation afterward was very soothing after all of this. I hope that journaling continues to be so revealing for me. I thought that I had already known all about this experience. Thank you,

Andrew
 
I can really relate to this, blackdog. Your memory reminds me of my young teen self during a horse riding lesson where I accidentally let go of the reigns and fell off. It had to be the tallest horse in the stables too! I hurt my left hip and leg quite badly, so much so that when I was ordered to get right back on that horse (yup, there's truth in that old saying), I had to mount the horse from the wrong side. I couldn't lift my hurt leg. Did I tell my parents when they came to get me? No, I did not, for exactly the same reasons as you. I pretended everything was okay trying very hard to hide my limp.

All this ties in nicely with what I have been reading lately. We are born innocent to begin with and then unconsciously begin to absorb the behaviour and values of our parents. What we hear and observe and how we are treated as children by our carers becomes imprinted on us from an early age. Who knows, possibly pre-birth? I find myself repeating many of the old sayings from my parents like, "you make your bed, you gotta lie in it", "you gotta suffer the consequences of your actions". No wonder the child within me is so mistrustful of my adult self and feels well and truly abandoned.

I'm so glad you found solace in the meditation.
 
It makes me so very sad. It makes me wonder whether I can ever trust enough to connect safely with the light that I see around me. Funny thing is that, in my meditation, I realized that I want to go get my other newly injured hip worked out with a chiro or PT. This is so against TMS healing practice I think, but the child in me needs to be taken care of and is scared because of it being my hip again (other side). Thank you for sharing your story with me yb44.
 
I just wrote about how to practice mindful meditation (living in the present),
together with other suggestions on relieving anxiety, stress, worry, fear.

It will show up soon in one of the sub forums, maybe the general information forum.
 
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