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Day 4 scary medical past

B

blackdog

Peer Supporter
This may sound like cake to some on here, but my most disheartening experiences within my medical explorations have been seeing many different kinds of doctors for so many different pains and other conditions and being told repeatedly that they could not find anything or that there was something there, but they couldn't say what it was (for instance in my pelvis or hip motion). That they really could not provide relief beyond PT which has allowed some pain reduction, but not gotten me back to my old active lifestyle. This has led to me feeling that there is a ghost in the machine and really for me fed the fear. I do have a small bulge in my neck, but have been told it should not be causing the amount of pain there that I have. This should be comforting from a TMS perspective, but it still stands as a roadblock somehow. I think it actually has led to a kind of learned helplessness response that may be interfering with my development of belief in my TMS diagnosis. I feel that I am early in the process, though, so I just need to tell myself that remaining doubts are OK for now. I do not now know how these will be overcome (and I am the kind of person who tends to feel that how I feel now is how things ARE), but this allows for me to build trust which is something that I need to learn regardless of TMS. Thanks all,

Andrew
 
Hi, Andrew. Doctors have not found anything wrong with you, so it looks to me like your symptoms are TMS.
Your doubts are keeping you from healing. You have to believe 100 percent in TMS or it won't cure you because
your subconscious knows you have not yet believed in TMS.

You have begun the Structured Education Program which is a great thing to do to heal.
It suggests journaling to discover repressed emotions that are causing your pain.
Journaling, even if just 15 minutes a day, can lead you to discover repressed emotions that became hidden as anger
which causes TMS pain.

The video link below by Herbie, one of our community's most helpful people, will give you a brief lecture on TMS that could help you:

http://tmswiki.org/forum/threads/what-to-know-to-heal-from-pain-pt-1.5482/
 
Thanks Walt,

I discovered a couple of things yesterday that seem so vital to my perceptions and how I can build on my belief. One is that I have always had the tendency to feel like whatever I am experiencing at the time is Reality. That things really are not terribly malleable. This, I believe, is called learned helplessness. Also, I have had my pain for a few decades and have come to feel like it is a reality for me. This I think would be considered conditioning. I have been practicing today saying out loud "I have TMS." It is amazing the difference between this and trying to convince myself in my head. My head won't have it, there is almost always and immediate lashback. But when I say it out loud I haven noticed very little dissonance. It is like I believe it and I know it when I say it out loud. This has been very encouraging for me. I guess that eventually this belief will bubble down through the more subconscious layers as I practice conscious acceptance and then through the journaling and the other work I have already been doing? I have been practicing this with my very troublesome anxiety and been seeing some good gains with that, so that gives me faith and direction in how to proceed as well. I will try to practice this technique throughout the day. Hope all are well,

Andrew
 
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