Day 36 Root is early childhood?

[MKMissy]

I read the whole of the thread started by Steve O. It includes a lot of conversation between Walt and Steve when Walt was on his journey. One thing that has worried me is that Walt felt he had identified an issue with his mother, and 'rationalised' her behaviour (which is something I believed was good to do) and was able to forgive her. But Steve's reply gave the impression there was likely something else in childhood that had caused rage, that Walt hadn't yet discovered. But at the same time somewhere else he says it's not necessary to remember and deal with the source, but just to know there will have been something? I've been working on this for 3 months now. I had an assessment with Georgie O, who confirmed my symptoms are TMS, and I wrote a long list of people I needed to forgive and things I needed to forgive myself for. I'm gradually working through these with journalling, but I've already gone past childhood and done as Walt did, although I did speak to my 2 year old self to reassure her rather than journal. I'm reading Walt's book at the moment (having previously read HBP, Georgie's book and Steve O's latest book), and I know Walt is now pain free, so I hope it all becomes clear. I think I need to read The Great Pain Deception, though, as I've had my chronic back ache since my early 20s (over 30 years), so it would be good to hear his story. Hopefully Eric's story will provide insight too in his and Walt's book. Apologies for the rambing - I've just got a bit confused!

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, MKMissy. You're right... I discovered through journaling that there was more than repressed emotions about my mother.

They also were about my parents divorcing when I was seven and it leaving me with feelings of insecurity. They divorced for financial reasons during the 1930's Great Depression. More recent financial problems probably triggered the long-repressed insecurity. Knowing how that can cause physical pain helps a lot in dealing with it.

I hope you find some good TMS techniques from my book with Herbie.

Steve Ozanich's two books are wonderful.

 

[MKMissy]

Thanks for clarifying, Walt. I'll finish reading your book, then, and I'm sure anything I'm missing from my childhood will come to light in time. It may just be an abandonment issue which has its root from when I was 2yrs 3mths and my mum disappeared in the middle of the night to give birth to my brother and was in hospital for 2 weeks and I wasn't allowed to see her. My dad says I was getting very upset about it, and even annoyed by the end. That's a long time for a child so young. Then, unfortunately all through my life since I was 13 I've had cases of close friends deserting me. Georgie seemed to think that was significant.

Thanks again for replying so soon. I'm going to read some more of your book now

Blessings
Sally

 

[Andy Bayliss]

You are learning so much Sally. When I read your post I feel tender for your history, and all of our histories as children. None of us was seen and held in the way that we really felt we wanted, down deep. This sense of disconnection and hurt and distrust run deep in us. In my experience we do not need to find the perfect answer, the perfect connection between our inner life and the pain. So in this I agree with Steve, I think. Just being aware of the ongoing sense of hurt, and other things in the moment can give us plenty of hints about what the inner child might be feeling, and how those feelings are not "OK" for the adult part of us to feel, so there is repression... What I get from your post is an appreciation by you for the challenges of this wonderful human life!

I will also say that many practitioners do find their clients find very specific things down deep that they can trace their TMS to, including Dr. Sarno.