Returning from vacation always gets me

microstar22

microstar22

New Member
I have found that anytime I go on vacation, as soon as I walk in the door to my house I feel more tension.. my shoulders tighten, and symptoms return. It is the oddest thing.

My shoulder's have been so tight for about a year or more, pretty much all the time. It was getting bad enough that I would literally drop things from my hands because of the muscle tightness in my shoulders. I went on a one day vacation to a recital for my daughter. While I was away..less shoulder tightness, no dropping anything, less clumsy, etc. As soon as I walked back in the door to my house and starting to fix some oatmeal, I dropped the blueberries, I dropped the spoon, etc.

This has happened when on vacation with my family, or by myself.

I am interested in what everyone makes of this, and any suggestions to help. Thank you and God bless.
 
I don't think this is uncommon. Heck, it happens to me just thinking about returning home from being out :)
Some people find tension increases while on vacation: they feel expectations to be well, symptom free, to spend quality time with others and a lot of expectations to make it the "perfect" holiday.
Others return home to responsibility, to the thoughts they have about themselves, to the constant "doing" they tend to do to avoid having quiet time with themselves, to the inability to relax and drop what they perceive are the expectations others have about them in and around the home and in their daily lives.
These are all great places to explore about what angers and frustrates you in your daily life ... probably little things you don't even realize build up to become internal stressors.
 
Thank you both! Jan, how important do you believe journaling is for recovery? I see some TMS people swear by it, and others say it is not necessary
 
microstar22 said:
how important do you believe journaling is for recovery?
Click to expand...
I would not have achieved my initial recovery without the therapeutic writing techniques I learned from the SEP and I employ writing to this day for setbacks. It doesn't even take much these days because I can get where I need to be so quickly. Often a thought will occur to me on the fly and I'll jot it down to examine later in more detail.

By now, the use of some form of therapeutic or expressive writing is extremely well-documented within the mental health community as being clearly beneficial for emotional recovery and anxiety reduction.

Just Google "benefits of therapeutic writing"

The key to meaningful writing is emotional vulnerability.

Resistance to writing with honesty and vulnerability is the TMS brain mechanism at work.

I avoid the word "journal" because to many people, that word implies keeping a permanent journal. In this work, keeping what you write has been shown to be unnecessary. Nicole Sachs LCSW and David Hanscom MD, both of whom are strong advocates of writing, explain this and they both recommend throwing away what you write because it does not need to be looked at ever again.

Can you recover without therapeutic writing? Anything is possible with this work, because no two individuals are the same.

Using the "list" exercises in the SEP is probably one of the quickest methods of addressing the early childhood experiences which shaped us, but people with serious trauma seem to have extremely resistant brains. Their TMS brain will use any excuse to avoid doing the work, and "you don't need to journal" is exactly what they want to hear. Others try to write, but their traumatized brains won't allow them to take the big risk that is required by true emotional vulnerability, so they don't go deep enough to where their true pain resides.

Ultimately, some form of mindfulness and attention to our inner voice is required in order take control away from our TMS brain mechanism. Calming the mechanism and the inner voice with something like consistent and significant meditation is one path that has worked for some people, but it requires a consistent practice. I would love to have a calming meditation practice of 30 or more minutes a day which I'm sure would be incredibly beneficial to my overall mental and physical health in these very trying times, but that's where my TMS brain resists. So I go along with my life, doing okay (in spite of current affairs which are really quite distressing) until I get some kind of symptom flare that gets in the way. That's when I eventually pick up my pen and a piece of old notebook paper and "write shit down" until I stumble across the "ahah! thing that's bothering me just below conscious thought. It still works, and it works fast.
 
Addendum -
New member @Michael Coutts has been describing his recovery in a number of detailed and well-written posts, which do not mention writing, journaling, or the SEP. However he has spent, and still spends a LOT of time reading and rereading and contemplating, in emotional depth, the message of Dr Sarno in his books. Michael's most recent post from this morning is a shorter description of his process (and interestingly talks about the topic of childhood experiences which I just mentioned above). It's worthwhile reading one of his earlier posts to see the number of symptoms he has overcome in the face of extreme outside stressors. His recovery is quite inspirational.

The reason I bring this up is because Michael's recovery process was not short and it wasn't easy even though it did not seem to involve extensive journaling or completing one of our programs.

Significant vulnerability and hard inner work is still the key to recovery. I'm convinced of that. Writing is simply an effective tool for getting there.

Probably a lot more than you anticipated when you asked your question, @microstar22 :rolleyes:
 
This happens to me too! Whenever a vacation is ending or after I'm back -- there comes the flare! Never during the vacation, that always seems to be a reprieve.

I think it is actually good news to identify an association or trigger because that is step 1 to starting to retrain your brain or dive into the root causes. I find one of the hardest things to do with this healing is break associations we've developed, but identifying them is such an important step.
 
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