Repeating the SEP?

[Wings313]

Does it make sense to go through the SEP for a second time? I did it last spring and I think that, along with some other factors, helped my symptoms to go away for months, but then they came back for months, went away, and have come back again. Wish I was one of those people who recovered once fully, but I'm not even sure how often that happens. Thoughts?

 

[BruceMC]

Steve Ozanich emphasizes that repetition is the way to get information through the prefrontal cortex (the rational part of your brain) and into the 95% of your bran that you aren't consciously aware of and can't control. This is one of way of getting rid of the fear at the root of the TMS response to stress, a way of deprogramming the TMS pain response. In other words - to be mercifully brief! - of course it's okay to work the SEP again to reinforce your knowledge base and get information into your unconscious mind. However, I think that Howard Schubiner's Unlearn Your Pain workbook goes over a lot of the same material in a slightly different way. I did the SEP followed by Schubiner, but that's just me.

 

[Wings313]

Thanks, Bruce! I too have Dr. Schubiner's book and read the first part but haven't done the whole program. To be honest, my issues right now are more about current stressors and just plain fearing my symptoms, which keeps the cycle going. So, I'm a little hesitant to do his program because I've worked through a lot of the childhood stuff and my TMS has always been more about current stressors and personality traits.

 

[nowtimecoach]

I followed the same line as Bruce and did Schubiner's program after the SEP. I didn't like doing Unlearn Your Pain because it was so in depth and uncomfortable. In fact, it took me about 8 or 9 weeks to get through the workbook. But I kept at it, because I was learning and releasing all sorts of new and old/deep issues. It helped me go deeper into those issues that triggered my pain. And moving forward, I keep using the tools I learned to deal with my everyday life and residual pain. I feel like I hit a plateau with pain relief and was frustrated in his third week chapter… but kept on and by the end of all the exercises, I can say I am so much better than what I was when I began. The book helps to get you in the present day/current stressors but with another toolbox to work with. I really missed the camaraderie of the SEP though and that's why I like to stay connected with other TMS'ers through this forum. I have your same wish of being fully recovered but have to keep reminding myself of where I was 6 months ago and where I am today. I have complete faith that continuing the healing path will get me to that place too. I believe the same is for you Wings313!

 

[BruceMC]

Remember Steve Ozanich's advice in Chapter 35 of the Great Pain Deception about how to escape your own personal containment system? Repetition Repetition Repetition. Get rid of fear of your TMS symptoms and teach that pesty amygdala who's the real boss on your block!

 

[Wings313]

Thanks! Yes, I can see how repetition is key. This is somewhat off-topic, but regarding Dr. Schubiner's program...let me first say I think he is great and has been very helpful to me. However, I sometimes wonder about the imagining hurting, strangling, etc. your mother, father, whoever hurt you as a child. It actually kinda goes against my beliefs to do that sort of imagery, and I honestly don't feel that anyone has hurt me bad enough in my life to imagine doing that to them (I'm thankful that I haven't been hurt that badly). Therefore, if I try to get into that "mode" I can't really get there. It feels false, like I'm putting it on just to satisfy the program (that's my people-pleasing perfectionist personality). I feel more like I've been angry at situations in my life, at my personality for not just letting me relax and let go, at my OCD, at all the time lost to anxiety. Does this make sense? Don't get me wrong, I do have anger at my mother, and I've expressed it verbally and in writing, but I just can't justify imagining killing her. Am I alone in this?

 

[nowtimecoach]

Wings313 - I totally get what you're talking about. I had the same experience while reading that part in the book. That being said, as I did some journalling one morning - I accessed a part of me that is so repressed and pushed down for the sake of being nice "of being Catholic" of all sorts of societal norms. I let that little girl rip and could not believe the amount of anger that came out of me. I was stunned. But leaving the judgements behind, I could feel the shift of energy happen. Of course I didn't really feel that stuff consciously, nor would I act on it… but the freedom that came from letting that angry little girl speak her mind was palpable. It was a huge chunk of healing for me. Now, I journal regularly and let that tiny squashed voice have her say. I see it as a 2 year old who is having a complete meltdown and tantrum. She gets to say what she wants in the privacy of a journal and I feel freer as an adult.
My advice on the Schubiner stuff is do what you can, but keep doing something in it and let the process unfold. It has many gifts of healing in it - as does the SEP.