samuel1987
Newcomer
Good afternoon, everybody. First of all, I wanted to say that I am happy to come across this website and forum. I feel like it has already given me a lot of good advice and encouragement.
The reason for this post is to share my story and to ask for members' input. I have some lingering doubts as to whether the TMS approach is right for me (though I think it is), mostly because I think that some of my symptoms are kind of weird - and don't always pop up on the classic TMS lists. Any input, advice or thoughts will be greatly appreciated.
I'll try to keep this as short as possible. I think my TMS story, such as it were, goes back to childhood inasmuch as I had some mild OCD at the time, which then worsened quite a bit after a traumatic surgery experience. Ever since, I've struggled with some germophobic tendencies, but overall I thought I had them pretty much under control.
Then about three years ago, in the middle of an extremely stressful time in my life, the story that brings me here first started. I had a pesky anal fissure (something I believe I'd occasionally had before, from time to time, but that I'd never paid much attention to because it would usually resolve within a day) I went to the doctor for. This was already unusual for me because I'm the type who - not at least because I don't like germs - avoids the doctor's office like the plague. Long story short, the whole fissure situation was not easily resolved, recurred a few times, led to all kinds of contradictory and oftentimes bad advice, and developed into a major stressor pretty much with each bathroom visit (even though I can count on one hand the times I would actually bleed or have actual pain just going to the bathroom, so it's mainly a fear factor that's been the problem). At one point, I had a skin tag cut and had botox injections. I actually came close to considering surgery until one doctor, in a fortunate turn of events, told me that that was a terrible idea.
Even with the fissure resolved, however, I was still having problems. I developed strange tailbone pain. Just a lot of tension in all of my pelvic muscles. Eventually, I was told that this tension was the core of the problem: It could cause fissures to begin with, and even when they went away, the tension could cause pain and make bathroom visits difficult. I was told to do physical therapy, which I tried for a while, without a lot of success.
Today, I am actually better in a lot of ways. But I still have a lot of the tensions I was referring to. I should say that going to the bathroom is not usually painful but feels somehow weird. One symptom that tends to freak me out is that - and pardon the graphic nature of this - I pretty consistently poop in a "trajectory" to the right side. This is something that I definitely didn't use to do, and the only explanation I can find is that perhaps the muscles are less able to relax on one side than the other? But it definitely seem to be very physical and thus has been wondering if TMS is really a good explanation. If anyone has any thoughts on this, it'd be helpful, and again, please excuse the graphic nature.
The remaining pelvic (mostly rectal) tension comes and goes. It hardly ever totally goes away, but most of the time it's not strong enough to really bother me. One thing that does make me suspect that all of this is rather TMS-y is that there doesn't always seem a rhyme or reason to the tension (sometimes it does seem to be related to going to the bathroom, and sometimes it doesn't). I do notice that my pelvic muscles are incredibly tight to the touch sometimes, and when I physically manipulate them, that does seem to help. Also, relaxation exercises seem to help. But overall I'm left with a lot of fear and doubts, and this has been going on for several years now, so I thought I'd see if anyone had any thoughts. Any help is much appreciated.
All the best,
Samuel
The reason for this post is to share my story and to ask for members' input. I have some lingering doubts as to whether the TMS approach is right for me (though I think it is), mostly because I think that some of my symptoms are kind of weird - and don't always pop up on the classic TMS lists. Any input, advice or thoughts will be greatly appreciated.
I'll try to keep this as short as possible. I think my TMS story, such as it were, goes back to childhood inasmuch as I had some mild OCD at the time, which then worsened quite a bit after a traumatic surgery experience. Ever since, I've struggled with some germophobic tendencies, but overall I thought I had them pretty much under control.
Then about three years ago, in the middle of an extremely stressful time in my life, the story that brings me here first started. I had a pesky anal fissure (something I believe I'd occasionally had before, from time to time, but that I'd never paid much attention to because it would usually resolve within a day) I went to the doctor for. This was already unusual for me because I'm the type who - not at least because I don't like germs - avoids the doctor's office like the plague. Long story short, the whole fissure situation was not easily resolved, recurred a few times, led to all kinds of contradictory and oftentimes bad advice, and developed into a major stressor pretty much with each bathroom visit (even though I can count on one hand the times I would actually bleed or have actual pain just going to the bathroom, so it's mainly a fear factor that's been the problem). At one point, I had a skin tag cut and had botox injections. I actually came close to considering surgery until one doctor, in a fortunate turn of events, told me that that was a terrible idea.
Even with the fissure resolved, however, I was still having problems. I developed strange tailbone pain. Just a lot of tension in all of my pelvic muscles. Eventually, I was told that this tension was the core of the problem: It could cause fissures to begin with, and even when they went away, the tension could cause pain and make bathroom visits difficult. I was told to do physical therapy, which I tried for a while, without a lot of success.
Today, I am actually better in a lot of ways. But I still have a lot of the tensions I was referring to. I should say that going to the bathroom is not usually painful but feels somehow weird. One symptom that tends to freak me out is that - and pardon the graphic nature of this - I pretty consistently poop in a "trajectory" to the right side. This is something that I definitely didn't use to do, and the only explanation I can find is that perhaps the muscles are less able to relax on one side than the other? But it definitely seem to be very physical and thus has been wondering if TMS is really a good explanation. If anyone has any thoughts on this, it'd be helpful, and again, please excuse the graphic nature.
The remaining pelvic (mostly rectal) tension comes and goes. It hardly ever totally goes away, but most of the time it's not strong enough to really bother me. One thing that does make me suspect that all of this is rather TMS-y is that there doesn't always seem a rhyme or reason to the tension (sometimes it does seem to be related to going to the bathroom, and sometimes it doesn't). I do notice that my pelvic muscles are incredibly tight to the touch sometimes, and when I physically manipulate them, that does seem to help. Also, relaxation exercises seem to help. But overall I'm left with a lot of fear and doubts, and this has been going on for several years now, so I thought I'd see if anyone had any thoughts. Any help is much appreciated.
All the best,
Samuel
