Day 8 Recognizing emotions connected to symptoms

The question to ponder today was regarding recognizing emotions connected to symptoms.

It's interesting because it feels like since the beginning of these symptoms, I have recognized the emotions connected to them (maybe too aware of emotions - typically they are the first thing I look at and check in with others on as well)?
It even seems like I've become quite aware of the why and where the emotions are intensifying symptoms. And can even link some of the symptoms that are similar now to those when I was very young back to specific emotions felt at the time (Funny, even the symptoms regarding skin are something my parents mentioned being a concern when I was very young and then they emerged again when a traumatic event happened to me when I was 11 - they stopped when I started wearing make-up for the first time and this is the first time since teenage years I haven't been able to wear make-up at all and it is because of all of this! - and, oh, the symbolism in so many ways!)

In any case, recognizing, linking it all together, being aware even moment to moment as symptoms intensify is one thing (and I am sure I still have a lot to learn there as I keep journaling and such) and really modulating is another ....so the journey continues.

The letter for today was interesting and I found the feelings stemmed again from thoughts of "I "should" have done better," that gnawing sense of not doing things "right" etc etc. The threads are pretty consistent, now the behavior change!

 

You don't have to change your behavior. If you needed to to get better, I would still be in Pain. I am just as self-critical and Nihilistic about some things as I was when I got better.
The most important part is recognizing that these are WHY your Brain has chosen pain over dealing with them. If stuff is truly repressed, I am not sure it ever comes to mind...at least not in 'real time'

Now what's strange about getting better from TMS, is that the fact that you are looking is what's gonna banish the symptoms...so you are right on time therapeutically, but don't get into the mind trap that you need to become a Buddah...you don't. Just keep doing what you are doing and then your TMS will go away.

There is nothing negative to be found from self evaluation...it is all positive karma... But it is in the inspecting that we send the message to the unconscious that we know what it is doing and that is the miraculous part of this deal. In fact, talking to it like it is a possessing Demonic entity has been very helpful to me in the past. Telling it to Get the F out of my life...and introspection. A good mix of them....and continuing our education.

 

For some parts of my body pain, I can recognize the emotions and talk the pain away. This is more easily done with my knee pain.

For other parts of my pain - like when I have a tight chest, headache, and having difficulty breathing, it doesn't come as easily. I have been trying to check in with this for the last 4 days and nothing. I thought maybe the unsent letter would help as I addressed the person that usually triggers these symptoms. I am not nervous, and the pain isn't limiting, but it is there, constantly. I feel optimistic and grateful my pain isn't worse. I don't necessary want to curse it away, as talking to my body that way doesn't feel authentic to me, but happy to try!