Real issue, or TMS?

[Baseball65]

TL;DR is : I have a feeling like a Bruise on the ball of my foot since I began doing sprints in training... I was running in crappy shoes on pavement. Does this ring familiar with TMS or can that really happen? I am not/have never been much of a runner

There used to be a "Running" subforum but I can't seem to find it??

I have been going to the local park at night/lunchtime and doing laps with my Pup in tow, to get in shape for a game....running, walking, sprinting...kind of a 'composite' road work-out to build stamina. I have also mixed in squats and pushups where I bend my toes pretty extremely. I wear really LOOSE running shoes.

Woke up the other morning with my balls of my feet feeling Bruised? As I walked the left one in particular feels really tender. My very first thought was TMS as I had a fake 'plantar fascitis' episode a few years back that was absolutely TMS. In fact, I was just discussing it with my sister the other day (Nocebo?)
However, every now and then something 'real' happens; it's been a minority. I gashed my hand open on a nail at work last week...the blood looked real....But I am always suspicious of any 'tissue' issues.

"Real"?...It isn't keeping me from working. It is just tender when I step on a rock or board that pushes on the ball... Mostly bugs first thing in the morning when I am barefoot, but I forget about it and have done everything EXCEPT run. I normally work through TMS stuff by challenging it.

"TMS"?... I sat and meditated on the things in my life I have been 'putting out of my mind'...after getting up from contemplating them I had a massive Hip-pain-freeze issue that made me Laugh out loud...it wasn't symptom switch though as my foot was still tender....but the older I get , the harder it is to rule out TMS.

I want to get back to running ASAP

Thanks for any input

 

[Cactusflower]

My input for what it’s worth: fear
You aren’t afraid to work with a gash on your had that was bleeding but a slightly tender spot on your foot is holding you back from something you want to do? There’s the getting older blame.
I think a lot about that one. I have family who are pretty fearless: metal implants in several places, a rebuilt foot, 67 years old and skiing, camping rough with canoe and portage. My old coach is close to my age and takes on crazy new challenges. I live in a location where retired folks sail, play 18 holes and then pickle ball daily. Makes me wonder..limits of the body or mind?

 

[butterytoast]

A sore foot…at the end of the day, it is not going to kill you. I say keep running but get proper shoes....I mean do you hammer nails in with a rock? No, you get a hammer! If you are hammering your feet into the ground, maybe some new shoes? They don't need to be high end ones, just fresh basic ones. Run on a softer surface.. most sports fields are not cement.

Let your feet acclimatize. You are asking more from your body, so give it some time to get used to it.

Not sure if you dog is on a leash, but that might cause you to run a little off centre if both arms are not pumping equally.

Maybe you are afraid of not being able to perform in this sport you are training for? That could be a TMS situation. Is there some fear around that? Why are you trading so hard, is there any insecurity? I feel like from your post that you are already a little suspicious of this foot thing.

Sidebar story: I think that blaming everything on TMS can become an obsessive thought pattern in itself. I spent a whole day blaming myself for a weird nerve pain in my finger tip. I kept repeating to myself that is was just tms. Later that day I realized it was a tiny chip of glass in my finger.
All the time I spent thinking “oh no now I have a weird hand thing..etc” was completely a waste of mental energy and a side dish of a sort of self-blame.

 

[Baseball65]

tender spot on your foot is holding you back from something you want to do?

I had iced it...first time I treated it as even possibly physical...and the pain went through the roof! Went from mildly annoying to unbearably crippling. So... I hobbled out back and began challenging it and the pain subsided. Not gone, but bearable..in fact, I worked on it for 3 days. I was trying to race a deadline (clue) on a high pressure job and was able to ignore it..until I had my first day off in 6 days.... That has always been my pattern...TMS gets worse when I have nothing to do, or it's time to stop working.

Maybe you are afraid of not being able to perform in this sport you are training for?

Yep... it's not at the top of my mind, but is a real fear. I haven't played all year because of Emotional reasons
(codependency w/my dog/ no one to watch her/won't leave her alone on a sunny day)

Why are you trading so hard, is there any insecurity?

Yep. Plenty

I think that blaming everything on TMS can become an obsessive thought pattern in itself.

Well, I have done similar things like the glass chip, but in general I have only been wrong a couple of times in 25 years. I actually don't think about TMS until a suspicious thing BLOCKS me from doing something. I am usually nursing small injuries all of the time from work...it just happens. Big splinters, falls, get popped in the face/head. Part of the tradesmen experience....but when something tries to shut me down (back, knee, shoulder, foot) so far I am batting 1.000 at blaming TMS

But, yes, I am more nervous about performance than my brain cares to admit...and I have a lot of other changes going on with personal crap, home life, work etc.

 

[Cactusflower]

Couple of things I see in last response and a few ideas.
Your pain is when done working or nothing to do: so, you use a busy body and mind as a distraction
(You know that already).
You haven’t played baseball all year yet.. here you use baseball as your identity.
What is the worst thing your foot is doing besides a sensation? Or what is it prolonging you from doing. In the past you probably had to run all the time playing baseball.. so now?

Lastly, your co-dependancy is control. I get your desire to keep it safe, but perhaps there is another way than letting her safety over ride things you want to do?
Honestly, I think that is where you need to look (not just with the dog), but your innate sense of safety in relation to the other stresses going on in your life and your need and desire to control stuff around them. You will probably find that it will tie into a lot of your core beliefs or perceived core beliefs, personal identity, faith etc. Essentially, all your conscious stuff probably tied into an unconscious thing which is the thing your mind is probably deflecting from. You might not find an “answer” but that’s actually not the goal. The goal is to let your mind know it’s safe from whatever constructs it feels you need protection from, right?

 

[Baseball65]

Just a follow up in case any one reads this years from now. @Cactusflower was right. It was TMS 1000%. Reeeeally fooled me because it felt different than the 'other' time I had fake Plantar fascitis (which was also TMS)
As soon as I decided it was, I went and sat and contemplated and scribbled... a lot of anger about not having help at home, being abandoned and other personal crap. Immediately stopped any treatment (I only iced it once previously, which made it hurt MORE) and started using the painful foot in workouts..went running HARD yesterday with the Pup again at our same place, all the while talking to the TMS
"Nope... You're just trying to F with me and we're not playing...in fact, i'm gonna run HARDER!"
and of course the pain is gone.
Thank you! It is good having friends in community to bounce stuff off.

 

[Cactusflower]

Feeling abandoned = not enough self love (my new therapist is good and doesn’t mince words).
You have your “list” of stresses. Can you make a list of your support system? First things off the top of my head for you are your dog, your guitar, this forum.. meditate on how you’ve built in your own support system. I admire how you keep taking back your power! I found my support system list gets me back in that mindset quickly when needed.

 

[Baseball65]

I am quite fortunate in that I have You guys on the forum, friends here in Nashville and Both Sarno books with tons of notes with DATES to remind me of what was going on and when/how I chased it out.
One of the most valuable is other people who understand this process.. it's like 'Indian Poker'.... we can see everybody else's TMS except our own! And like @Cactusflower just did for me, getting the right QUESTIONS is far more important then 'figuring myself out'.

Meditating on the questions has always been the solution.... the answers just give themselves.