Day 1 Ready to Try

[Sudonym]

I read The Divided Mind last week and found this forum in hopes of finding a way to apply these principles. I guess what makes it hard for me is the book almost makes it sound like all you need to do is admit that your pain has an emotional source and bam! you become pain free. Well, I have known my pain is emotional for years. Let me give a bit of history.

I have suffered from stress-related conditions all my life. I'm a strongly emotional person whose outbreaks of sadness were usually inappropriate to my surroundings so I was told to suppress them, to grow up, to calm down. So, yeah, I repressed all right - it was the only way to be accepted. So my emotions turned inward and I took my sadness and rage out on myself. The stress conditions varied and whenever I gained victory over one, another would pop up within the next few years. The pain just migrated around. I've had migraines, TMJ, back pain, knee pain, frozen shoulder, you name it. In 2003 my mother died in front of me, choking to death on the birthday dinner I had made for her. By 2005 I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and told there was no cure and my pain would slowly increase until I had to go on disability. I had IBS so bad I lost 35 pounds in 6 months. I had insomnia; I had panic attacks. Western medicine got its innings and had given up on me. So, filled with skepticism, I went to a naturopath. That was more helpful; he got me off the Ambien prescription. Over the course of the next 5 years, I prayed and meditated over my condition, and was given a word to match each of my major issues. The panic attacks and insomnia was FEAR. I learned how much of my life was controlled by it and as I did, these issues receded. The IBS was GUILT. Same story and same result. My copious chemical sensitivities was CONTROL. Finally, I was given the word for my chronic pain. And the word was.... PAIN. My first response was a bitter laugh and then "Well, duh!" But I soon understood that the pain referred to was emotional pain.

This is the only area in which understanding has not led to progress. I have managed to control my condition to where I can still work 32 hour weeks with a Tramadol prescription to assist me. I've practiced yoga, made my diet more healthy, etc. But I can't stop repressing emotion, because it is usually triggered by interactions with people and you can't just break down in childish tears in front of your boss. So what do you do instead? Sarno's book doesn't say. My fears are shared by many on this forum - the fear that once you take the lid of your volcano of inner pain you will simply be destroyed by the eruption, and your self-defensive attempts to cap the volcano will leave you worse off than before.

What's motivated me to try this program is the resurgence of a lot of the symptoms listed above. It's clearly time for some review work on the fear/guilt/control thing. The sources of my inner pain are no secret to me. I just don't know what to do with any of it.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Sudonym. You have come to the right place to heal from your emotional pains. Even fibromyalgia is believed to be causedby harmful emotions. The SEProgram will help to to discover what emotions are giving you pain. Don't expect to heal just from believing in TMS. It will take 100 percent belief, but you also will have to discover and work on your emotions. Those may be some anger from your past, even back to your youth. Or they may be from a perfectionist and "goodist" personality, wanting to be liked by everyone and to please them.

Meditation also helps in TMS healing.

Meditation is a time-honored way of relaxing the mind and relieving anxiety, mental stress, headaches, and even physical pain. There are many ways to practice meditation, but many consider the most successful to be a technique called the Relaxation Response (RR).

It is a wonderful way to practice TMS Mindbody Healing because it changes harmful thinking in the subconscious mind which Dr. John Sarno says causes pain in many people.

The RR, practiced daily for from 10 to 20 minutes has a profound positive effect on the subconscious mind, relieving or curing everything from inflammation and pain to headaches, stomach problems, insomnia, high blood pressure, to even aiding in recovery from cancer.

RR is like Tanscendental Meditation which is taught by TM specialists who charge hundreds or thousands of dollars. But the RR is free and you can do it yourself.

It is done before a meal and works best if not practiced within two hours after a meal. I do it in bed before arising in the morning and again in bed before falling sleep. Often, I only do it 5 or 10 minutes and it works to calm me and put me to sleep.

Just sit in a chair (or lie in bed in the morning or at bedtime), close your eyes, don’t listen to any music, and try to avoid outside noises. Let your mind think of a word such as "One " which has no real meaning or association. Or say a calming word such as “Peace,” or add the faith or spiritual element by saying a favorite religious word. Breathe in through the nose, hold the breath for a few seconds, then say the word when you exhale.

Say the word silently over and over. At the end of the 10 to 20 minutes, picture and feel yourself as you were when you felt your best, and in a place where you felt that way.

When distracting thoughts arise during the RR, as they will, just tell yourslf, “Oh, well,” and go back to repeating your chosen word. Transcendental Meditation teachers will charge hundreds of dollars to give practitioners a word, but the word you choose yourself in the RR works just as well.

There are several free videos on Youtube about the Relaxation Response. I especially recommend these two by Dr. Benson:

Good luck practicing TMS healing techniques and, if you want to, post your progress here.

 

[Ines]

Wow Sudonym. Just wow. I have no words except I am so sorry to hear of the things you have gone through. You sound incredibly strong and I do think there is hope for you. Just think about all the things you have gone through and how smart you are for figuring it out this far and now you are on this TMS site.
I think once you do "take the top off the volcano" there is really no way to know what happens. During my second week I had horrible nightmares and depression. But.. it went away once I went through it. This week, (my 3rd week) I am really angry. I typically hold all my anger inside. I started crying because I can hear jack hammering at work and started yelling about how annoying it is. I don't really care though.
I guess you really don't know what will happen but you HAVE TO try. Think of the alternative.