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Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this updated link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/
Day 17 Ready to give up
- Thread starter DebraW
- Start date
shirleypm
New Member
Debra,
I've had osteoarthritis since I was 6 in my hips and knees. I rarely get pain in those joints, so I can attest that indeed OA doesn't necessarily mean pain. In other areas of my body where I have bone spurs, nothing.
And yet I've had chronic upper and lower back pain and SI joint pain, TMJ, foot pain,etc., over the years (those are TMS related). I've come to understand a lot about all of this, after a long journey of frustration and dealing with doctors who were stymied by my pain (NOTHING worked).
All I can say is, don't panic. Step back, and see the words you've used in this thread. Setback, obstacles, pain, devastated. Journal about your feelings. You've mentioned about being scared. That fear alone can thwart your progress. The biggest change I've had to work on is getting more mindful of my words. It may sound strange to really be mindful, but changing your words changes your thoughts, and changing your thoughts will change the physical.
So you have OA. Almost everyone starts to develop some form of it by their mid 30's. TMS doesn't cause OA - TMS causes pain. Two very different concepts, right?
Keep plugging on, and notice when you focus on the "what ifs." Tune them out, because they'll only drive you crazy and keep you focused on the physical, diverting your attention from the underlying issues.
Keep going and focus on the moment only. hope and a positive attitude certainly help. I'm only 10 days in and still have pain, but I am hopeful. Sending you some hope your way.
I've had osteoarthritis since I was 6 in my hips and knees. I rarely get pain in those joints, so I can attest that indeed OA doesn't necessarily mean pain. In other areas of my body where I have bone spurs, nothing.
And yet I've had chronic upper and lower back pain and SI joint pain, TMJ, foot pain,etc., over the years (those are TMS related). I've come to understand a lot about all of this, after a long journey of frustration and dealing with doctors who were stymied by my pain (NOTHING worked).
All I can say is, don't panic. Step back, and see the words you've used in this thread. Setback, obstacles, pain, devastated. Journal about your feelings. You've mentioned about being scared. That fear alone can thwart your progress. The biggest change I've had to work on is getting more mindful of my words. It may sound strange to really be mindful, but changing your words changes your thoughts, and changing your thoughts will change the physical.
So you have OA. Almost everyone starts to develop some form of it by their mid 30's. TMS doesn't cause OA - TMS causes pain. Two very different concepts, right?
Keep plugging on, and notice when you focus on the "what ifs." Tune them out, because they'll only drive you crazy and keep you focused on the physical, diverting your attention from the underlying issues.
Keep going and focus on the moment only. hope and a positive attitude certainly help. I'm only 10 days in and still have pain, but I am hopeful. Sending you some hope your way.
DebraW
Peer Supporter
Hi Shirley
Thank you for responding to my post. It's so nice to hear other stories and especially from someone else who has OA.
Before I got diagnosed with arthritis, I had a preconceived idea about the disease, namely all the stuff you hear about it, and most specifically, joint PAIN. You see commercials on tv for arthritis medication and the whole thing is about the crippling pain and how to relieve it. I've seen that stuff my whole life so my brain went immediately there.
That being said, I've been told I have arthritis in both knees, lower back, shoulders, wrists and hands. I have knee pain, and pain in my upper back and under both arms in my ribs. My hands feel fine and my lower back feels fine too. So I don't hurt in all the areas I have the disease.
You're right, I'm full of negative feelings and words. I didn't even notice that until you pointed it out. This one is just as bad. I will make a point of trying to change what I say, what words I use. That's important, isn't it.
I hope you can get help with your pain. I sincerely wish that for you. You sound like you have the right mental attitude.
I'm focusing on the reading and exercises and trying to carry on regardless of the pain. Shirley we can both do this!
Thank you for responding to my post. It's so nice to hear other stories and especially from someone else who has OA.
Before I got diagnosed with arthritis, I had a preconceived idea about the disease, namely all the stuff you hear about it, and most specifically, joint PAIN. You see commercials on tv for arthritis medication and the whole thing is about the crippling pain and how to relieve it. I've seen that stuff my whole life so my brain went immediately there.
That being said, I've been told I have arthritis in both knees, lower back, shoulders, wrists and hands. I have knee pain, and pain in my upper back and under both arms in my ribs. My hands feel fine and my lower back feels fine too. So I don't hurt in all the areas I have the disease.
You're right, I'm full of negative feelings and words. I didn't even notice that until you pointed it out. This one is just as bad. I will make a point of trying to change what I say, what words I use. That's important, isn't it.
I hope you can get help with your pain. I sincerely wish that for you. You sound like you have the right mental attitude.
I'm focusing on the reading and exercises and trying to carry on regardless of the pain. Shirley we can both do this!
shirleypm
New Member
The importance of intention matters greatly, and it was mentioned in one of Dr. Sarno's books. For example, it's mentioned that you start saying,
"This area no longer hurts, that area no longer hurts." Notice how it is said in the present tense, and how these statements are meant to be digested by the unconscious mind.
In yoga, we talk intentions, because they create a mindset. Keep them in the present, not the future, and there's a reason for that. If you start to worry about what may or may not happen, then you're setting yourself up for a merry-go-round of random thoughts distracting you from your purpose - to get better, to process deeply stored emotions.
The deeper aspect of intentions goes beyond "what doesn't hurt" - these initial statements only get you started. Come up with a daily intention to the tune of: " I am doing everything to improve my health, well being and state of mind" or "I am making positive steps to improve my health, well being and state of mind."
"This area no longer hurts, that area no longer hurts." Notice how it is said in the present tense, and how these statements are meant to be digested by the unconscious mind.
In yoga, we talk intentions, because they create a mindset. Keep them in the present, not the future, and there's a reason for that. If you start to worry about what may or may not happen, then you're setting yourself up for a merry-go-round of random thoughts distracting you from your purpose - to get better, to process deeply stored emotions.
The deeper aspect of intentions goes beyond "what doesn't hurt" - these initial statements only get you started. Come up with a daily intention to the tune of: " I am doing everything to improve my health, well being and state of mind" or "I am making positive steps to improve my health, well being and state of mind."
DebraW
Peer Supporter
Thanks that's very helpful. I was reading some of Lissa Rankin's book called Mind Over Medicine" and she also suggests a good thing to do at the end of journaling every day is to write down three things you are grateful for. I think that helps focusing on the positive side of thinking. I have a great deal of pain in my life but I am so grateful for many other things I have. So I've started to do that after the structured writing.
There are so many wonderful books out there. I am reading a lot of stuff. It's hard to keep up. I have 3 of Dr Sarno's books, and I've ordered The Great Pain Deception but it doesn't arrive for a few weeks. I've also heard Feelings Buried Alive Never Die by Karol Truman though I haven't got it yet. Have you read any of these?
Debra
There are so many wonderful books out there. I am reading a lot of stuff. It's hard to keep up. I have 3 of Dr Sarno's books, and I've ordered The Great Pain Deception but it doesn't arrive for a few weeks. I've also heard Feelings Buried Alive Never Die by Karol Truman though I haven't got it yet. Have you read any of these?
Debra
shirleypm
New Member
You're reading a lot, and I'm sure you've learned a lot.
I'm still in the early phases of this, but I do remember a counselor telling me that I wouldn't improve unless I started *doing* in lieu of reading. It's a natural response, and a defense mechanism, because in the back of your head, the subconscious mind is thinking, "but what if it doesn't work?" So we put it off and off. Part of this also involves a habit of dealing with the pain, and the subconscious mind's not knowing how it will function if it no longer has a role to suppress painful emotions.
Gratitude journaling is a good start. The more challenging part is digging deeply down to find what is hiding behind the pain. It's uncomfortable and may even cause a lot of hesitance, because if something uncomfortable is "there," we're afraid of losing control. Don't allow your subconscious mind to do that to you. Think of it as a bully. It keeps you in fear so it doesn't have to face certain issues. I ironically started blogging about this a few months ago. It can be terrifying to face things - esp. things you may not fully realize that contributed to your situation. It's like standing on a diving board over the deep end of a pool terrified to dive in. Once you jump into the water, you'll find that it isn't as bad as you anticipated it to be.
I'm still in the early phases of this, but I do remember a counselor telling me that I wouldn't improve unless I started *doing* in lieu of reading. It's a natural response, and a defense mechanism, because in the back of your head, the subconscious mind is thinking, "but what if it doesn't work?" So we put it off and off. Part of this also involves a habit of dealing with the pain, and the subconscious mind's not knowing how it will function if it no longer has a role to suppress painful emotions.
Gratitude journaling is a good start. The more challenging part is digging deeply down to find what is hiding behind the pain. It's uncomfortable and may even cause a lot of hesitance, because if something uncomfortable is "there," we're afraid of losing control. Don't allow your subconscious mind to do that to you. Think of it as a bully. It keeps you in fear so it doesn't have to face certain issues. I ironically started blogging about this a few months ago. It can be terrifying to face things - esp. things you may not fully realize that contributed to your situation. It's like standing on a diving board over the deep end of a pool terrified to dive in. Once you jump into the water, you'll find that it isn't as bad as you anticipated it to be.
DebraW
Peer Supporter
I consider myself to be in the early phases too. I'm thinking that perhaps I'm doing too much reading and not enough journaling? I have a really long list of childhood events and even life long events (e.g.being married to a bully for 25 years, molestation by a trusted doctor when I was a teenager etc.); 60 years of stuff. I'm spending about half an hour to 45 minutes journaling every day. I need to get out lots from my unconscious mind. Are you doing more than that? What is your plan of attack so to speak?
Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)
Beloved Grand Eagle
Hi, Debra. It's great to know you're going to continue with the SEP. Keep positive and you will become pain-free.
The tennis great Arthur Ashe lived by this motto: "Never give up, no matter what the score is."
The tennis great Arthur Ashe lived by this motto: "Never give up, no matter what the score is."
BruceMC
Beloved Grand Eagle
I think it's like Dr Sarno says, osteoarthritic changes result in stiffness, but don't necessarily cause pain. Emotions do play a big role in whether arthritis hurts or not. All of us exhibit arthritic changes in our joints after 35, but not all of us hurt because of them. Tricky business!
DebraW
Peer Supporter
Very tricky for sure! Stiffness I can handle, gotta get rid of the excruciating pain. I'll work hard.
shirleypm
New Member
Sounds like you're doing great. It's building patience that is difficult. I completely understand - am right there with you