Question to Ponder - Day 8 - I've got problems!

J

John Murphy

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I’m not identifying any emotions in particular. I know that there’s a fair amount of disappointment and maybe anger in many of the experiences I have had but I can't pin-point anything in particular when the pain sets in. There seem to be too many possibilities. In many ways, I’ve had a good life but it has also been a life of emotional turmoil for several different reasons but nothing stands out and, as I said, when the pain starts, my mind doesn't home in on anything in particular.
 
Hi, John. I suggest you keep journaling because you may begin to notice recurring topics from your life. Those that come up most often may well be the causes of your pain. Maybe the pieces add up to a whole thing. They did for me when I had severe back pain. Journaling led me to realize repressed emotions going back to my boyhood when my parents divorced when I was seven. I didn't realize how I was repressing anger and feelings of abandonment and insecurity. Journaling helped me to understand my parents better and to forgive them. Then the back pain went away.
 
It could just be your personality. For me, when I get migraines I know it's because I have low self esteem and I bully myself. That's just part of it but it's a big thing I've noticed. Also, I put a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect and am constantly thinking about chores and finances. My brain is constantly going.
 
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What Ines said. It may or may not be an event that happened. It may be just your personality style but it's possible that something DID trigger you. What that was or is, only you can identify but as Walt said, keep at it because if you really do the work, if you don't actually pin point the trigger you will at least have uncovered your patterns (perfectionism, people pleaser, rager, impatient, etc).
 
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Walt Oleksy said:
Hi, John. I suggest you keep journaling because you may begin to notice recurring topics from your life. Those that come up most often may well be the causes of your pain. Maybe the pieces add up to a whole thing. They did for me when I had severe back pain. Journaling led me to realize repressed emotions going back to my boyhood when my parents divorced when I was seven. I didn't realize how I was repressing anger and feelings of abandonment and insecurity. Journaling helped me to understand my parents better and to forgive them. Then the back pain went away.
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My migraines also go back to the age of seven when my parents divorced. But they got much worse when I took early retirement.... That's the bit I don't understand because early retirement was my carefully considered decision and taken in the interests of peace of mind! I guess I got that wrong!
 
My parents divorced when I was seven, so I know what that's like. As I wrote you before, I discovered in TMS journaling that I had been repressing anger and feelings of abandonment and insecurity all those years. That helped me to heal from severe back pain.

Early retirement can give us too much leisure time to think about our problems or worries. I'm 86, a writer, and like to keep busy so I am not spending a lot of time on those things.

You might consider freelance work in any subject that interests you, or volunteering. If possible, get a dog or cat to keep you busy and company.
 
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