Mr Hip Guy
Beloved Grand Eagle
Post Event Processing - PEP - This is a fancy new term that I just learned that applies to something I have experienced and done my entire life. It refers to the period after a social interaction where you "replay events" from the standpoint of improving the interaction for the main purpose of making yourself more liked/respected.. It's apparently something done regularly by those that suffer anxiety or OCD.
It's a little bit like that episode of Seinfeld where George thinks back to that interaction with his co-worker where he SHOUILD have said "well? the JERK-store called and they're all out of YOU!"
I would say that George Costanza is a prime candidate for TMS therapy but then he is based on Larry David who is a well-known sufferer of TMS and credits Sarno for his recovery.
Anyway, I digress.
I suffer from PEP, often agonizing in hindsight over interactions with others in social settings - usually worried that I came off like a jerk or was unintentionally rude. This is a clear by-product of my people-pleasing personality that contributes to my TMS. I'm also an introvert generally, so social parties/gatherings are always slightly stressful for me - I fake it well enough at the time though - but afterwards I am exhausted from having my energy sucked from me. The perfectionist in me also hates that none of these interactions - as good as they might have been - are never "perfect."
Common wisdom indicates the first step in fixing a problem is recognizing you have it, so at least I've made it that far.
Usually for 24-48 hours after a social event I go into a feedback loop of repeating specific conversations or interactions before I naturally drift off into other things. To get out of this feedback loop here are some things that help me:
- Recognize the fact that most people simply don't give a crap about you, and stopped thinking about you 30 seconds after you left. This is a harsh fact, but it is a fact.
- For those that might've noticed a gaffe you made, most of those will simply forgive you for it or think nothing of it as it doesn't represent you as a person.
- Most people are having the same concerns about themselves (we're all the protagonist in our own story afterall) and didn't notice whatever you think you might have done.
There are a few others that I'll think of later but for now I just thought it would be helpful to post this and see if anyone else has any comments or advice. I think this PEP is part and parcel of my TMS, so it's probably a good thing for me to dive into it and dissect what I can.
Interested in other thoughts...
It's a little bit like that episode of Seinfeld where George thinks back to that interaction with his co-worker where he SHOUILD have said "well? the JERK-store called and they're all out of YOU!"
I would say that George Costanza is a prime candidate for TMS therapy but then he is based on Larry David who is a well-known sufferer of TMS and credits Sarno for his recovery.
Anyway, I digress.
I suffer from PEP, often agonizing in hindsight over interactions with others in social settings - usually worried that I came off like a jerk or was unintentionally rude. This is a clear by-product of my people-pleasing personality that contributes to my TMS. I'm also an introvert generally, so social parties/gatherings are always slightly stressful for me - I fake it well enough at the time though - but afterwards I am exhausted from having my energy sucked from me. The perfectionist in me also hates that none of these interactions - as good as they might have been - are never "perfect."
Common wisdom indicates the first step in fixing a problem is recognizing you have it, so at least I've made it that far.
Usually for 24-48 hours after a social event I go into a feedback loop of repeating specific conversations or interactions before I naturally drift off into other things. To get out of this feedback loop here are some things that help me:
- Recognize the fact that most people simply don't give a crap about you, and stopped thinking about you 30 seconds after you left. This is a harsh fact, but it is a fact.
- For those that might've noticed a gaffe you made, most of those will simply forgive you for it or think nothing of it as it doesn't represent you as a person.
- Most people are having the same concerns about themselves (we're all the protagonist in our own story afterall) and didn't notice whatever you think you might have done.
There are a few others that I'll think of later but for now I just thought it would be helpful to post this and see if anyone else has any comments or advice. I think this PEP is part and parcel of my TMS, so it's probably a good thing for me to dive into it and dissect what I can.
Interested in other thoughts...
.