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Day 15 pain not changing

B

blackdog

Peer Supporter
Hello,

For today's Question, I am writing about whether I have noticed changes in my pain. I feel like this is difficult to answer, as I always have pain in so many different areas that changed even before this work (though often would stick in one area for at least months at a time). So, I would not say that I have found any confidence yet through this kind of evidence. I do still hold some reservations about which of my pains are TMS, as I have so many. I'm not quite sure how to get around this. The thing is that I do believe that I have TMS very strongly. In fact, yesterday during my therapy session I felt some kind of tension in me shift, like my minbody was trying to get it out, when I experienced a period of profound sadness. So, it is evident to me that I have it. Yet I have such a stubborn mind/ego. It is very tricky and wants to be in control. I do feel good about the psychological work that I am doing, though, both in and out of counseling. As my counselor told me, I need to stop moving the goalposts and just acknowledge the progress that I have made. I want the pain gone now, as I pull back so strongly from it and feel that it is unacceptable. I am learning to let go of this kind of need for control and to accept that I am not helpless in dealing with my difficulties. I was brought up, almost trained, to develop learned helplessness, so this is a struggle for me. I am attempting to remind myself to remain hopeful, though, rather than blindly optimistic. With depression, anxiety and fatigue this can be a struggle, but I do see the progress that I have made and will attempt to give myself the compassion of allowing myself to acknowledge it when I can. Thanks all,

Andrew
 
Hi, Andrew. You say you still hold some reservations about which of your pains are TMS, as you have so many.

That's because although you seem to be trying hard to believe totally that your pains are from TMS,
you haven't gotten to 100 percent yet. My experience and Steve Ozanich's and others say healing comes from
100 percent TMS belief, and anything less will keep your unconscious mind from sending pain around you.

And try not to be impatient about healing. That adds depression, anxiety, and fatigue.

Keep working on the SEP program and try to lift your spirits... do things you enjoy.
 
Thank you Walt, I am just starting to learn that trying too hard is a problem for me and contributes heavily to my depression, fatigue, anxiety, pain and overall feeling that things are not "right." 100% belief sounds like a fairy tale right now, but I feel it is important to acknowledge that that may be a normal part of the healing process. Also, I am starting to shift my focus, and this is difficult, from trying to convince myself that it's not structural to building confidence that it is due to emotions. This may just sound like semantics, but I think it makes more sense to me, because it is easier to wrap my mind around and is less abstract.
 
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