Daniel L. Overcoming fear

[Branson]

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Question

Hello. My name is Branson on the forum.

As I am learning it seems that fear and worry are the big bugaboos. My big distraction is the news. Between Trunews and mainstream news Ive been talking to myself in HUGE fear thoughts such as, it must be the end times, things will only get worse, will I face decapitation, will the economy tank and on...

Now these fear thoughts do seem reasonable, possibly true. And will keep me from getting better with tms because they arent the fears associated with symptoms which I have to work on, but existential fears of safety and having a future.

How will I be able to use these tms modalities to get better in this sort of climate of fear? I believe I can get well. I believe I can work on not fearing, having compassion on my symptoms. How do I feel I guess unmoved by the state of the world and its seeming trajectory of not better and better but worser and worser?

 

[Daniel G Lyman LCSW]

Answer

I had a professor in grad school that would repeat ad nauseam that there have been people predicting the end of the world for as long as the world has existed, and so far every single one of them has been 100% wrong. Not even partially correct.

Here’s the trick:

You’re telling me to tell you that the world is a safe and good place when you’re actively telling yourself that it’s not. I can first tell you what I believe, but what ultimately matters is what you believe.

I’ve had a handful of clients say to me that people that think the world is a good place are idiots. Well, I guess I’m an idiot then. I really believe the world is a good place, and that we are heading in a positive direction. Yes we are hitting some speed bumps, and we always will, but that doesn’t mean that things don’t improve in the long run.

How can I believe this, when you believe the opposite? We can’t both be right, can we? Turns out, both of us are choosing to see the world in our different way. Our choice is based on the information that we choose to feed ourselves.

Here are two steps I’d encourage:

1. Stop watching the news. Seriously. You’re not becoming better informed by watching the news; you’re becoming more afraid. That’s not healthy or helpful. Just stop watching the news. You can be an informed person by reading the news once a week. Everything else is superfluous.

2. Keep a gratitude journal. Wake up every day and write down three things that you are grateful for. Right now your brain only thinks of the things that are going wrong and the things that scare you. You have to force your brain to process the opposite. Life can be really great, and you probably have some amazing things going on, but you have to choose to focus on those things. It’s entirely within your power to choose to feel happier and safer.

Remember, it’s your choice to see the world as a Roland Emmerich movie. You don’t have to make that choice. Choose and practice a healthier outlook.

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Any advice or information provided here does not and is not intended to be and should not be taken to constitute specific professional or psychological advice given to any group or individual. This general advice is provided with the guidance that any person who believes that they may be suffering from any medical, psychological, or mindbody condition should seek professional advice from a qualified, registered/licensed physician and/or psychotherapist who has the opportunity to meet with the patient, take a history, possibly examine the patient, review medical and/or mental health records, and provide specific advice and/or treatment based on their experience diagnosing and treating that condition or range of conditions. No general advice provided here should be taken to replace or in any way contradict advice provided by a qualified, registered/licensed physician and/or psychotherapist who has the opportunity to meet with the patient, take a history, possibly examine the patient, review medical and/or mental health records, and provide specific advice and/or treatment based on their experience diagnosing and treating that condition or range of conditions.

The general advice and information provided in this format is for informational purposes only and cannot serve as a way to screen for, identify, or diagnose depression, anxiety, or other psychological conditions. If you feel you may be suffering from any of these conditions please contact a licensed mental health practitioner for an in-person consultation.

Questions may be edited for brevity and/or readability.

 

[Branson]

Thank you Daniel. And uh, you know who Daniel is in the Bible? lol.

I agree with you and your recommendations. I am taking advice to get better. So it is reasonable both to stop looking at the news and start keeping a gratitude.

I used to keep a gratitude journal, so this is something I can pick right back up.
The news will be more like breaking an addiction or habit. Therefore to break a habit replace with a new habit. When I think I want to just take a peek at what TruNews has, that is my cue to write in my journal again what I am grateful for.

Thank you

 

[Branson]

Hey writing gratitude didnt break my addiction yesterday. Yup tried it for a day. Ha.

But so far, did something new this morning. I google searched Good News. And would you bellieve there are websites with good news! Huffington post has good news too. My morning coffee time with news flew by. Now that is a true substitute for bad news. Good News! Love it. Felt better too, all warm and fuzzy. Feel I can conquer now!