One Therapist at a Time?

[Hiawatha922]

The therapist I am seeing has recently indicated that she feels I should be working with only one person at a time. She is a Jungian therapist, not specifically trained on TMS. Has anyone else had this experience? Do most people stop working with one and start with another for a period of time?

Her rationale is that it may be confusing to work with more than one person; and energy may be diluted by working with more than one person.

I am trying to decide how to proceed. I would like some specific TMS insight but I value the work with my current therapist.

 

[Anne Walker]

Hello. I tend to agree with your therapist that it is good to focus on working with one therapist at a time. I like to leave the door open to changing therapists for a time if I should feel inclined. It is possible to take a hiatus from one to work with another. I was working with a TMS therapist for about 6 months and I got a whole lot out of it. I came to feel that I was spending too much time thinking, analyzing, trying to figure things out... I wanted to explore working with a Somatic Experiencing therapist to specifically learn how to be more present in my physical body. I sensed with all the pain I had been experiencing that it was not easy to rest comfortably in my body. I trusted my instinct and this was absolutely the right way for me to go. Could I have worked with the Somatic Experiencing therapist and the TMS therapist at the same time? I could have, but their focuses were a little different. They were not conflicting per se but there is so much more work to do than the hour spent talking to the therapist. Perhaps this is just the way I like to approach things. Currently I am working with a marriage therapist to work on my communication with my husband. I realized that the conflict between us was really adding to my overall stress. So I put my personal therapy on hold for a bit to work on my relationship. I do have a small business and teenagers at home so maybe I just don't have enough time to work with more than one therapist at a time! I can see what she means about it getting a little confusing and diluting energy. I worked with a TMS therapist via skype since there was not one in my area and I really recommend it. I learned a lot that was very helpful in my recovery.

 

[Boston Redsox]

Anne

Couple of things regarding your marriage therapist….has it help with any inner conflicts which in result effect your pain? Though my divorce as slowed down do to monetary reasons meaning I told my wife to get a job versus alimony ( which she does not deserve). I told her I will not commit to 16 yrs of payments due to the fact she was unfaithful many times.

Regarding tms therapist, yes I had some break threw in the beginning but it seems the sessions where just like going on a merry go round , ( went around a lot but never go anywhere. And at $100 a pop I did not feel that we where getting anywhere after 6 sessions…I don't blame anyone for that. Took a break did some self digging regarding anger and forgiveness towards my still wife, and I realized I needed to speak to a unbias opinion a search a therapist near my house and have been seeing her for about 3 months.

Though I think we came full circle with my anger towards being cheated on, its just a place where I can dump my gar-barge of thoughts once a week its like a flushing of the mind. lol


God Bless

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Hiawatha. I agree that you should work with only one therapist at a time. If you don't feel you're getting the results you'd like with the Jungian therapist, consider a change. But give her time to help you. I think most of us can help ourselves, by journaling to discover our repressed emotions.

Be sure your therapist asks about you and your situation. I had one that digressed and we spent most of our time on subjects that had nothing to do with my emotional stresses. Jungian can be abstract. Keep the focus on simple terms, about you.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Jungian can be abstract.

Good point Walt. Although only you know the quality of your experience Hiawatha922.

Doing personal work brings up issues, including with the therapist. One thing therapists (and coaches) want to guard against is "splitting." This is where one of the helpers becomes better or worse than the other, which results from childhood patterns transferred onto the present relationship. We all do this, much of the time, in relationships of all kinds. But with therapy work, this propensity causes confusion/more negative transference, attempting to play one off against the other, etc. You might ask your therapist if this one reason to recommend against it. The more you know about her thinking, the more you can support your own decision.

One thing you might feel into is what you think you will be losing by changing therapists. A sense of close support, a sense of intimacy, a sense of really being seen? For me, these are things that are close to my heart, so I want to feel this fear when it comes up, be with it. This may help you release your present relationship, or not, but you will be more clear, perhaps.

(One thing for sure I can say about therapists: you want someone who has done their own work. You cannot help someone be there for themselves when you have not been there for yourself. This takes years, perhaps decades of devotion to truth. And it is something that I always recommend you address when you interview a prospective therapist. Otherwise you are the "sick one" and the helper tends to stay in her self-identities, rather than allow her own authentic vulnerability.)

Andy B.