I believe I have discovered the root cause of my TMS, although as the title of the post states, I have still to go through therapy to discuss it.
I have recalled memories from decades ago being told that 'girls only date clever boys'. I believe it was meant to motive me to concentrate on my school work (I was probably somewhere between six and ten years old at the time). I had problems with concentration in school and wasn't too keen on doing homework. My grades were good enough, although I did have problems with speech and writing and sometimes understand what I was being told.
I have since discovered that I may be autistic, but up until a couple of years ago, I didn't know this about myself.
All the times I was 'bullied' I was being told what to do .... This I think now was a 'double whammy'. Not only was I being bullied, but I was also being told what to do with myself. This, I think, has made me think that I will never be clever enough to be in a relationship with anyone I ever want to be involved with in my life.
I think this is what has made me more and more angry over the years.
I have recalled memories from decades ago being told that 'girls only date clever boys'. I believe it was meant to motive me to concentrate on my school work (I was probably somewhere between six and ten years old at the time). I had problems with concentration in school and wasn't too keen on doing homework. My grades were good enough, although I did have problems with speech and writing and sometimes understand what I was being told.
I have since discovered that I may be autistic, but up until a couple of years ago, I didn't know this about myself.
All the times I was 'bullied' I was being told what to do .... This I think now was a 'double whammy'. Not only was I being bullied, but I was also being told what to do with myself. This, I think, has made me think that I will never be clever enough to be in a relationship with anyone I ever want to be involved with in my life.
I think this is what has made me more and more angry over the years.