no hope ?

M

mbo

Well known member
my son, after four years trying a myrian of treatments, discovered the TMS concept, did a lot of understanding, journaling,.... but nowadays his (not extreme) pain (wirst, arms, shoulders,...) has not gone. Doctors can't find anything wrong.
I'm sure he needs more "work" in the Sarno way .... but he's devastaded and has lost confidence.
Yes, I know "he's not yet ready" .... but how could I refuel his interest in the mindbody solution?

Thanks for your suggestions!
 
I'm sorry that I can't offer suggestions, but I can offer empathy for your situation. I'm going through the same issue with my adult son. His health obsession started after his son was born 21 months ago. Now, his wife is pregnant again, and my son's TMS is through the roof. His current obsession is that he has pancreatic cancer, even though his blood tests are fine. The gastroenterologist is going to placate him by doing an endoscopy and possible CT Scan of his pancreas next week. I've tried sending him TMS podcasts, books, and websites, but he is convinced the doctors are missing something and he is terminally ill. IF you can get your son to listen to them, Curable.com has a wonderful free list of mindbody podcasts. https://www.curablehealth.com/podcast (Like Mind, Like Body Podcast)

I often think of the statement I read in Steve O's book, "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear." Apparently, the student isn't ready.
 
There is ALWAYS hope, and there are ALWAYS ways to walk toward the direction of being ready to heal. I am willing to bet that your son is not healing because he is still fixated on and in fear of his symptoms. Sometimes techniques like journaling make us lose sight of living our lives like we are 100% physically healthy in the present. We analyze the past, wondering what else we need to dig up to make the symptoms finally disappear. Or we constantly immerse ourselves in information on TMS and healing methods, and don’t allow ourselves to just be. This reinforces to the highly opportunistic brain that there is indeed a problem, as well as showing that the symptoms are a welcome distraction. And so they continue, on and on again...

Wondering why one is yet to heal also encourages symptoms. You have to trust and believe in your body. Never put a timeline on healing or become distraught. Ultimately, you have to stop actively trying to heal.

You can’t heal until you know you are already healed, TMS is nothing more than code for “anxiety” and “strong emotions,” every single person on the planet eventually experiences some form of TMS (whether it’s a simple eye twitch and blushing or full on fibromyalgia; TMS is not an actual condition itself), and you’re in parasympathetic mode.

Obsession creates ongoing and/or more symptoms and keeps the sympathetic nervous system turned on, as it believes it’s dealing with a threat of some sort. This is why I always recommend focusing on changing one’s overall outlook and how they handle emotions today, as opposed to heavily analyzing the past and getting too caught up in a specific process. Go out and do the activities you love, relax and enjoy life to the fullest again! It’ll show your brain there’s absolutely nothing wrong.

Here’s a great article on why sympathetic overdrive, which is caused by powerful emotions, prevents and delays the body from healing from just about everything: https://www.nextavenue.org/mind-over-medicine-how-help-your-body-heal-itself/ (Mind Over Medicine: How to Help Your Body Heal Itself - Next Avenue)
 
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Caulfield said:
There is ALWAYS hope, and there are ALWAYS ways to walk toward the direction of being ready to heal. I am willing to bet that your son is not healing because he is still fixated on and in fear of his symptoms. Sometimes techniques like journaling make us lose sight of living our lives like we are 100% physically healthy in the present. We analyze the past, wondering what else we need to dig up to make the symptoms finally disappear. Or we constantly immerse ourselves in information on TMS and healing methods, and don’t allow ourselves to just be. This reinforces to the highly opportunistic brain that there is indeed a problem, as well as showing that the symptoms are a welcome distraction. And so they continue, on and on again...

Wondering why one is yet to heal also encourages symptoms. You have to trust and believe in your body. Never put a timeline on healing or become distraught. Ultimately, you have to stop actively trying to heal.

You can’t heal until you know you are already healed, TMS is nothing more than code for “anxiety” and “strong emotions,” every single person on the planet eventually experiences some form of TMS (whether it’s a simple eye twitch and blushing or full on fibromyalgia; TMS is not an actual condition itself), and you’re in parasympathetic mode.

Obsession creates ongoing and/or more symptoms and keeps the sympathetic nervous system turned on, as it believes it’s dealing with a threat of some sort. This is why I always recommend focusing on changing one’s overall outlook and how they handle emotions today, as opposed to heavily analyzing the past and getting too caught up in a specific process. Go out and do the activities you love, relax and enjoy life to the fullest again! It’ll show your brain there’s absolutely nothing wrong.

Here’s a great article on why sympathetic overdrive, which is caused by powerful emotions, prevents and delays the body from healing from just about everything: https://www.nextavenue.org/mind-over-medicine-how-help-your-body-heal-itself/ (Mind Over Medicine: How to Help Your Body Heal Itself - Next Avenue)
Click to expand...

I freakin' love you, you luminous and gorgeous creature.

Plum x
 
mbo said:
my son, after four years trying a myrian of treatments, discovered the TMS concept, did a lot of understanding, journaling,.... but nowadays his (not extreme) pain (wirst, arms, shoulders,...) has not gone. Doctors can't find anything wrong.
I'm sure he needs more "work" in the Sarno way .... but he's devastaded and has lost confidence.
Yes, I know "he's not yet ready" .... but how could I refuel his interest in the mindbody solution?

Thanks for your suggestions!
Click to expand...

Many people have to take a wider healing embrace than the one offered by classic Sarno-based approaches usually because it mires people in negativity. It happened to me and I've seen it happen to others. Have a look at this post which describes why people get stuck on Sarno:

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/do-some-never-heal.14869/ (Do some never heal)

For the wider perspective (which we lose when we sabotage our efforts by trying too hard to heal), the article posted by @Caulfield is superb and @HattieNC's suggestion to listen to the Curable podcast is excellent.

There are endless possibilities and resources out there to inspire and promote healing. You just need to find the ways and means that speak to you.

I empathise greatly with having a family member you cannot help. It can be heart-breaking to watch. The truth is only they can make the changes they need to make. Healing is an inside job as brilliantly explained in this post:

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/the-90-second-secret.15404/#post-80936 (The 90 second secret)

Our indulgence in negative emotion generates tension and this ensures a preoccupation with the pain; this obsession is the real TMS. That is the place to break the cycle.

I wish you the very best in your efforts to help your son. Remember to look after yourself too. Self-care for carers is paramount.
 
Thanks a lot for your warm and wise advices !!!!
This forum is full of great and empathetic people.

All the best for all you !!
 
I surrender !!!
I can't help my son to restore confidence in the Sarno paradigm.
He trusted, months ago, in the TMS concept with no result.
I'm sure he should now trust in a recovery program (Alan Gordon, Curable,...) but he has scheduled a visit (once more) with an orthopedist.
Beguin the beguinning.
 
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