new member hoping I have TMS!

I've been long interested in the mind-body connection, especially with respect to anxiety and what it can cause with respect to symptoms. Recently I have developed symptoms that may be TMS, in the following order: feeling of trembling/vibrations in various parts of my body, sometimes all over, sometimes one arm/leg, sometimes all limbs, and it varies in intensity. About a month later I developed twitching which started in my right rib cage, now occurs all over. At about the same time as the twitching started I developed pain in my limbs/feet/hands, and it has worsened to the point of moderate pain after I have used my hands to the point of flexing hard, carrying something heavy, etc, although they often hurt even when I am at rest. This has been going on for about 3.5 months. The pain occurs at all times, the twitching does not seem to occur when I am busy/moving, only (or at least 95%) when I am at rest.

I have seen my GP and been tested for electrolytes, magnesium, lyme, etc, and all have come back normal. He also did basic weakness/reflex tests, both of which are normal. My entire family (and prob my GP) thinks all of this is due to stress but I cannot stop worrying about ALS and am literally scared to death as I feel I have no future. If this worsens or does not resolve within the next several weeks he is going to refer me to the Neuro for EEG or EMG testing, but as of now he does not seen overly concerned about it. Wish I could say the same. The other day I started to worry about it and the twitches tripled in numbers and seemed to be mainly in my hands although as it has been they are rarely in my hands, prob 10% of the time or less.

I have had 2 big health scares in the past 2.5 years.....numbness and tingling in my limbs which was though to be MS but turned out to be not much of anything, my MRI was normal, but it worried me quite a bit. I also went through a lot of upper abdominal pain last summer and had an endoscopy after thinking I was getting esophageal cancer, but the endo was normal with not even one indicator that there was any reflux or inflammation, the GI doc literally told me, "I don't know what is causing your pain, but it isn't due to any problem within your upper digestive system." That was on Oct 31, 2014, abt 3 weeks after the trembling/vibrations started. Coincidence? Dunno, but I surely hope so. Perhaps that pain was a manifestation of TMS, especially since it dropped by 75% within 2 months of hearing the GI doc say that and is better than 90% gone as of now. I find it very interesting that in both cases my symptoms were alleviated considerably after being told by the specialist that there was no major problem. During the months of Sept/Oct I was also going through quite a stressful time at work as I was assigned a very important job......not difficult, but high profile, and that was stressing me as well. I don't usually talk much about work to my wife, but during this time I complained to her almost every night until the darn thing was completed!

Recently I have been pretty much useless around the house and my wife deserves better that what she is dealing with right now. My appetite has also dropped and that is making me feel weak, of course.

Picked up a copy of Healing Back Pain yesterday (wanted the mindbody connection but BN didn't have it stocked and didn't want to wait several days for it to come via Amazon) and read about half of it last night. I don't feel I have much repressed rage but I have been a worry wart of sorts that past several years with these 2 prev health scares. The only internal anger I can think of is toward my father-in-law, and since we don't talk I haven't thought about it much. And believe it or not, it has not strained the relationship between me and my wife, the only thing seeming to strain it is my constant worrying.

There is also anxiety in my family, my mother and all 3 of my sisters have been (or are) on some sort of anti anxiety medication at one time or another.

The worst part of all this is not the pain but rather the worrying about what it might be. It was also suggested that the arm/hand pain could be RSI but that would not explain the full body symptoms.

Thanks for listening, so to speak.

 

No one here can diagnose you with tms, it's ultimately your decision or go see a tms doctor. If all your test came back normal you probably do have tms.

The fact that you say you don't have repressed rage means you probably have a lot. Your just not feeling it, that's what repression is. You don't know consciously when you are angry or the superego will not allow you to be angry. so the rage gets repressed in the body and the symptoms(pain, numbness, and anxiety in your case) keep you preoccupied from the underlying emotions. Anxiety is a tms equivalent that keeps you from feeling your anger.

Take your time it's a long process but it works. There are many ways to get healed, find what works for you. Keep gaining knowledge by reading tms books or get a tms therapists if you need. Wishing you the best of luck, faith abd perserverance go a long way in the process. You are in for a awesome ride if you choose the tms path. We are what we believe.

Ryan

 

Yes, I just found a list of doctors online who treat TMS, there are 2 within an hour of me, going to make an appointment!

 

http://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Find_a_TMS_Doctor_or_Therapist

 

thank you, both of the ones I found have an outdated link to them so not sure if they are even practicing yet.......but on the list you provided there is another one who is not that far away.

Thanks again.

 

Hi, mdh. I agree with others that you probably have repressed anger or rage.
It maybe more than your relationship with your father-in-law.

I think you need to think and journal more about your emotions.
I didn't think I had any fro my boyhood, but when I began journaling about those years,
I realized I had been repressing a lot of anger toward my parents (for their divorcing
when I was about seven), and my older brother for bullying me.
I realized they had their own TMS repressed emotions and was able to forgive them,
posthumously because they had all died). Forgiving them led to me no longer having
severe back pain.

 

Right now I am almost a basket case.......the pain isn't that bad, but the worry has my mind 90%+ of the time, and it isn't good. I will lose everything if this is what I'm worrying about....so not only will I suffer a great deal but my family will lose 80% of our income, and then we have the concern of not seeing my kids grow up ,etc ,etc........it just keeps perpetuating on itself despite the odds being in my favor.

 

I just got back from my in-laws, went over there after thinking about it and realizing there were some unresolved issues between I and them. Ended up being there for about 2 hours and having a much more in-depth talk than I was anticipating. Not sure if it helped or not, time will tell, but def feeling better about our relationship moving forward. I do not think there is any unresolved tension left in this relationship. Now all i gotta do is work on my perfectionism and finish my list of stuff that is ailing me psychologically and deal with those things.

Amazing how much of our angst often comes from our closest relationships, like family.

 

Hi mdh:
I just got through reading through all your posts in this thread and I'm out of breath: I can feel your anxiety jump off the screen. I think that anxiety makes nothing better and makes everything worse. So I suggest you tackle that first, then when you can think clearly again, start on the rest of your to-do list.

There are many suggestions on this website for calming anxiety through breathing techniques and other mindfulness/meditation techniques. Please stop and breathe. Think only about your breath. Calm your mind, still your runaway thoughts and everything will feel more manageable.

Here's a place to start: http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/section-3-4-mindfulness.4914/

Wishing you comfort and peace.

 

will do Dahlia.......bookmarking your link right now! I have anxiety, specifically health anxiety, that has been working in overdrive for most of the past 9 years, with the past 3 being by far the worst.

 

Wow this post reminded me of myself more than any other post I've read here. It brought back a lot of physical memories.

Two things to understand, I've never felt better than I do now, so you can heal too, and you have tons of rage.

Go learn all you can. The truth will set you free. But you have to be strong enough to accept it. The shadow is a long painful road but the end is peaceful.

Good luck mdhHeinz57

 

Ryan

It's sounds like tms to me I have experienced all your issues along with other been to a slew of dr specialist and so on...I suffer major anxiety which at the moment I am on meds because I can not control it at this moment , I am also going threw separation from my wife, which is amacabale but never the less painful. I have been to a tms dr and found it to be a waste of time basically he will give you a examine which you had numerous time....the only good part that he sits down with you and digs a little on what's going on with you at home and so on. But if you need that please by all mean do it to set your mind straight. A tms Therpist was helpful then I switch to a regular Therpist and it's been very helpful to speak to a in bias opion . The the sep program, start a simple mediation practice and stay in the now try not to monitor your issues that much and do things you love. Also very important to start exersize slowly.

God Bless you on your journey and remember its a journey do not set a time to heal.

 

Hi again, mdh:
I've been thinking a lot about your posts and have an additional suggestion: re-read your posts here and this time observe all the positive news contained in them. For example:

"The pain occurs at all times, the twitching does not seem to occur when I am busy/moving, only (or at least 95%) when I am at rest...He also did basic weakness/reflex tests, both of which are normal...but as of now he does not seen overly concerned about it....also went through a lot of upper abdominal pain last summer and had an endoscopy after thinking I was getting esophageal cancer, but the endo was normal with not even one indicator that there was any reflux or inflammation, the GI doc literally told me, "I don't know what is causing your pain, but it isn't due to any problem within your upper digestive system." ...it dropped by 75% within 2 months of hearing the GI doc say that and is better than 90% gone as of now. I find it very interesting that in both cases my symptoms were alleviated considerably after being told by the specialist that there was no major problem........the pain isn't that bad,..."

What you have done is documented how the pain/symptoms are NOT structural but rather tied to a mind-body reaction. My suggestion is to start to look for the evidence that you are well and start training your brain to stop looking for evidence that the world is coming to an end. Look for the evidence you WANT, not for what you don't want.

I totally empathize with you. I have been where you are now, where the anxiety and fear and are in the driver's seat. So I know it is not easy to take over the controls but I can tell you that it is very doable. It takes practice and you will develop a new pattern of thinking, a new habit.

Sending you peace and hope!

..

 

I picked your book up yesterday Steve, am going to start reading it today. Last night I went from not caring if I ever spoke to my in-laws again to wanting them to be a part of my kids' lives. My symptoms have not changed, at least not yet, but it was def a step in the right direction. I think we tend to easily forget how our peace of mind is stifled with this nasty, negative baggage. It also seems that the more I think about it, the more things I find to add to my to-deal-with list.

 

Has anyone had diffuse pain that just seemed to start out of nowhere and ends up in some/all limbs within 5-10 minutes as a dull/mod ache that seems to have to real origin? Happening this morning and it is worrying me again. Only saving grace is that this is not a normal early symptom of what I am worrying about. Had twitching last night in my shoulders and upper back and wondering now if it didn't overwork those muscles a bit, causing me soreness in the full length of my arms. Am also sore after cleaning the snow off my car, which never has given me a problem before.

 

mdh

it sounds like you are really keeping track of your pain……( not a good thing to do) as long as you been cleared by a Md of any issues, I would acknowledge those pain and let them go don't monitor them….go on with your life. start the sep and take it from there.

 

I am.......and i agree, not a good thing. this morning have been experiencing left eyebrow twitching, which i have never had before, and my arm pain is coming and going, right now the right arm hurts but not the left and one of my legs hurts but not the other. It is absolutely amazing how these symptoms move around and come and go. Good part is, the eyebrow is not bothering me much as I am taking it as TMS.