New here...Need serious help...

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Harzee

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Hello all...brand new here...I am s 42 year old female...sorry for the long post...

In July last year, my right arm hurt and I realized I had a mole there...so I had it removed and all was well. However, I started googling symptoms. By October, it felt like something was touching my arm every once in a while...by December my arm hurt again...I went to the doctor and they thought it was muscle pain, then nerve pain...then the pain went away. I had an ultrasound on my arm. I thought I was having a heart attack. The pain migrated to my shoulder, then my lower abdomen...I went to the doctor again, and they sent me for a pelvic ultrasound. They sent me for a uterine biopsy, and this is what pushed me over the edge...My Mom died of uterine cancer three years ago, and I had to wait three weeks for my results...I was absolutely sick with worry. While I waited, my calf muscles got tight...I started googling symptoms, sometimes hours at a time...I thought I had MS, ALS, Autoimmune diseases..I went from doctor to doctor to doctor. All said it was anxiety...My biopsy results came back negative and I thought I would feel better, but I didn't because I started having crazy symptoms. Constipation, diarrhea, acid reflux, hunger pangs, burning skin sensations, numbness, tingling, couldn't eat, muscle aches and twitches...
I have been to so many doctors, emergency rooms, specialists...I have been checked over extensively...I have had crazy amounts of blood work done, EKGs, EEGs, an EMG for nerves, and I just paid for a private MRI on my brain and spine. All clear...
Currently, I have painful skin (sometimes it hurts to sit or lie down), sore muscles, numbish feet...

Have anyone experienced this type of pain? Please help me...I am so frustrated... I have uploaded all of my symptoms and tests...
 

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Harzee,

Many of us on the forum have experienced some or even all of the symptoms you describe.
Like many of us, you have spent years being terrified that you are doomed to unexplained pain and sensations.
You're not.

Start with reading the work of Dr. John Sarno. The next book you may find very helpful is Steve Ozanich's "The Great Pain Deception."

Go on YouTube and watch some of the videos under Steven Ozanich's name.
Also, watch Nicole Ferber Sachs videos. See who you resonate with most.

I'm sure others will chime in with ideas.

The first thing to do is to let your nervous system know that you have found the answer. Put your hand over your heart and say, "I am safe. I am safe. All is going to be well."

One of the stories I alway appreciate on here is Dr. Alicia Batson. Read her post about all of the things she went through. Many are similar.

This is a good place to be. Decide to start today to realize that your pain is psychologically started and your fear and worry perpetuate it all.
You can do this.

Marcia
 
Welcome @Harzee. You definitely aren't alone. @MWsunin12's advice is excellent and I have nothing much to add. What we have is a nervous system issue. I'm still a work in progress and one thing I do know is that recovery from the symptoms is not linear, so don't worry if it feels like three steps forward two steps back.

The success stories on this forum are inspirational as well and they have become a wonderful resource for me on difficult days when the symptoms are flareing.

I'd also recommend making a point of seeking out and doing things that bring you pleasure and satisfaction as often as you can; they don't have to be huge. A walk in nature, dancing round the room to music on the radio (one of my favourites!), talking to a friend, handcrafts, whatever works for you. We can get so consumed by pain and, above all, anxiety about the pain that we can forget how to find joy, and that is an important part of recovery and helping the battered nervous system to find balance.

Welcome once again, you're in the right place.

(Marcia, thank you for posting the link to Dr Batson's story, it's one I hadn't actually come across until I read it just now and it's so good. I have a lot of the same symptoms and one in particular has been the bane of my life for several years, i.e. rectal muscle spasm, which isn't often mentioned. Reading her story has given me hope to press on after a discouraging 24 hours.)
 
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westb said:
(Marcia, thank you for posting the link to Dr Batson's story, it's one I hadn't actually come across until I read it just now and it's so good. I have a lot of the same symptoms and one in particular has been the bane of my life for several years, i.e. rectal muscle spasm, which isn't often mentioned. Reading her story has given me hope to press on after a discouraging 24 hours.)
Click to expand...
Same here, westb. I experienced a sudden horrendously painful rectal muscle spasm in January this year during a bowel movement and I haven't stopped hurting in that region since. It's particularly painful to sit and the pain radiates into my left buttock and intermittently into and down the back of my left leg; the only position I'm relatively comfortable in is lying on my right side in bed. I'm currently being checked out by a colorectal consultant - who has ordered a MRI and flexi-sigmoidoscopy - to make sure that it's not something sinister like cancer, but to me it smacks of TMS...fingers crossed it is.
 
MWsunin12 said:
Harzee,

Many of us on the forum have experienced some or even all of the symptoms you describe.
Like many of us, you have spent years being terrified that you are doomed to unexplained pain and sensations.
You're not.

Start with reading the work of Dr. John Sarno. The next book you may find very helpful is Steve Ozanich's "The Great Pain Deception."

Go on YouTube and watch some of the videos under Steven Ozanich's name.
Also, watch Nicole Ferber Sachs videos. See who you resonate with most.

I'm sure others will chime in with ideas.

The first thing to do is to let your nervous system know that you have found the answer. Put your hand over your heart and say, "I am safe. I am safe. All is going to be well."

One of the stories I alway appreciate on here is Dr. Alicia Batson. Read her post about all of the things she went through. Many are similar.

This is a good place to be. Decide to start today to realize that your pain is psychologically started and your fear and worry perpetuate it all.
You can do this.

Marcia
Click to expand...
Thank you so much for your reply. I really appreciate it. Have you been able to get better?
 
westb said:
Welcome @Harzee. You definitely aren't alone. @MWsunin12's advice is excellent and I have nothing much to add. What we have is a nervous system issue. I'm still a work in progress and one thing I do know is that recovery from the symptoms is not linear, so don't worry if it feels like three steps forward two steps back.

The success stories on this forum are inspirational as well and they have become a wonderful resource for me on difficult days when the symptoms are flareing.

I'd also recommend making a point of seeking out and doing things that bring you pleasure and satisfaction as often as you can; they don't have to be huge. A walk in nature, dancing round the room to music on the radio (one of my favourites!), talking to a friend, handcrafts, whatever works for you. We can get so consumed by pain and, above all, anxiety about the pain that we can forget how to find joy, and that is an important part of recovery and helping the battered nervous system to find balance.

Welcome once again, you're in the right place.

(Marcia, thank you for posting the link to Dr Batson's story, it's one I hadn't actually come across until I read it just now and it's so good. I have a lot of the same symptoms and one in particular has been the bane of my life for several years, i.e. rectal muscle spasm, which isn't often mentioned. Reading her story has given me hope to press on after a discouraging 24 hours.)
Click to expand...
Thank you so very much! It means alot.
 
Harzee,

Yes, from countless symptoms. The brain always longs to return there, because of a lot of conditioning that way...worst case scenario thinking.
So I stay vigilant, live as honestly as I can with who I am, and I continue to reread Steven Ozanich's book, as well as some of Sarno's.

My brain has created new symptoms that scare me, at first, but then I get my TMS perspective in place...and they go their way...sooner than later.
The main thing is this: You can't walk with a foot in each world. You can't keep going to ER and demanding tests, etc. You can't hope that a prescription is going to be the answer and still work on it as TMS. That's the cold hard truth that is difficult for many of us to swallow.
But, Sarno states it pretty clearly...and Ozanich's book is all about that, too.

Every symptom, I tell myself "I am 100% willing to believe this is psychological. I am safe. My focus moves to something worthwhile now."

Commit to DO, not to try. When you say "try," your brain hears "not really" and you can't progress.

It's a life path you go on. It's not a specific date that you're cured. It's changing your brain to think psychologically and not fall into the swamp of fear around physical symptoms.

Ask yourself today: What are 3 things I feel great passion about?

Can you name 3? If not, dig deeper. If you had no pain, what would you love to be doing?

my best to you.
 
MWsunin12 said:
Harzee,

Yes, from countless symptoms. The brain always longs to return there, because of a lot of conditioning that way...worst case scenario thinking.
So I stay vigilant, live as honestly as I can with who I am, and I continue to reread Steven Ozanich's book, as well as some of Sarno's.

My brain has created new symptoms that scare me, at first, but then I get my TMS perspective in place...and they go their way...sooner than later.
The main thing is this: You can't walk with a foot in each world. You can't keep going to ER and demanding tests, etc. You can't hope that a prescription is going to be the answer and still work on it as TMS. That's the cold hard truth that is difficult for many of us to swallow.
But, Sarno states it pretty clearly...and Ozanich's book is all about that, too.

Every symptom, I tell myself "I am 100% willing to believe this is psychological. I am safe. My focus moves to something worthwhile now."

Commit to DO, not to try. When you say "try," your brain hears "not really" and you can't progress.

It's a life path you go on. It's not a specific date that you're cured. It's changing your brain to think psychologically and not fall into the swamp of fear around physical symptoms.

Ask yourself today: What are 3 things I feel great passion about?

Can you name 3? If not, dig deeper. If you had no pain, what would you love to be doing?

my best to you.
Click to expand...

You are so wise and helpful. Thank you. What symptoms did you have and how long did it take you to fully believe it was TMS...
 
BloodMoon said:
Same here, westb. I experienced a sudden horrendously painful rectal muscle spasm in January this year during a bowel movement and I haven't stopped hurting in that region since. It's particularly painful to sit and the pain radiates into my left buttock and intermittently into and down the back of my left leg; the only position I'm relatively comfortable in is lying on my right side in bed. I'm currently being checked out by a colorectal consultant - who has ordered a MRI and flexi-sigmoidoscopy - to make sure that it's not something sinister like cancer, but to me it smacks of TMS...fingers crossed it is.
Click to expand...

My spasms started at the same time as the IBS symptoms, and built up gradually in severity so it wasn't a sudden onset like yours. I'm pretty sure mine are part and parcel of IBS and thereford TMS since their severity ebbs and flows according to how the rest of my gut is doing but that whole rectal and pelvic area (the right side) is very, very tight and sensitive for me. Incidentally that area is the site where I injured my back - the injury that triggered my IBS symptoms - and I've read here that TMS pain can often occur at the site of a previous injury. But the pain is horrible when it's at its worst, especially when I'm sitting down - it's a real challenge then not to start obsessing about it and going down that particular rabbit hole.

In my various searches on google a few years back I read an article that stated that rectal spasms can be one of the symptoms of fibromyalgia. I don't have FM but I know that you do. Best of luck as you go forward on your TMS healing path.
 
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westb said:
My spasms started at the same time as the IBS symptoms, and built up gradually in severity so it wasn't a sudden onset like yours. I'm pretty sure mine are part and parcel of IBS and thereford TMS since their severity ebbs and flows according to how the rest of my gut is doing but that whole rectal and pelvic area (the right side) is very, very tight and sensitive for me.
Click to expand...
My pain varies too (and although in the same region as the initial spasm hurt me, the precise location of it moves around somewhat). A few months ago I would have said that it was pudendal neuralgia (a conclusion which made me despair) but now I'm thinking 'TMS' instead. You said that your rectal and pelvic area feel very tight...that's how my pelvic and rectal area feel (but mine is all mainly on my left side, with just the odd slight twinge on my right side at the top of my right leg and in my right buttock). I find that gently massaging/lightly palpating all around my belly while breathing deeply helps to ease the pain and tightness, so I do that once - sometimes twice - a day. As the pain can, according to Sarno, be due to the brain causing mild hypoxia, I feel (hope) that by doing this I'm helping oxygenated blood move to the area...and hopefully not reinforcing my brain's wish to make me think 'physical'. I expect though you've already tried this kind of thing - and more - to alleviate your symptoms.
westb said:
Incidentally that area is the site where I injured my back - the injury that triggered my IBS symptoms - and I've read here that TMS pain can often occur at the site of a previous injury.
Click to expand...
Absolutely. My pain is at the site of a rectocele, a prolapse which my doctors tell me doesn't need repairing as it's apparently relatively small - albeit that it doesn't feel small to me...I have to eat loads of fibre to keep my stools soft enough to pass and use mini olive oil enemas every day to ensure 'smooth passage' :(
westb said:
But the pain is horrible when it's at its worst, especially when I'm sitting down - it's a real challenge then not to start obsessing about it and going down that particular rabbit hole.
Click to expand...
I fully understand how challenging it is. I was using hot (warm) packs alternating with cool packs on the area; I think it acted as distraction more than anything, but once again I was trying to increase the blood flow. I've stopped doing it now though because I want to find other ways of dealing with it...I'm torn between noticing it and breaking it down into 'sensations' rather than 'pain' in a meditative way or challenging the pain by 'opposing' it when it spikes by doing something pleasurable in response, i.e. to tell my brain that it's not fooling me...Pain, especially with the pressure of sitting, is certainly hard to ignore.
westb said:
In my various searches on google a few years back I read an article that stated that rectal spasms can be one of the symptoms of fibromyalgia. I don't have FM but I know that you do.
Click to expand...
That's interesting and doesn't surprise me as it feels like over the years of having 'fibromyalgia' (20+ years) there hasn't been a muscle that hasn't been affected by it - with pain, stiffness and spasm :( There are lots of theories about what causes FM but, especially as I also have all sorts of other symptoms that are not necessarily or usually associated with it, I live in hope that it's all TMS.
westb said:
Best of luck as you go forward on your TMS healing path.
Click to expand...
Thank you :). I obviously wish you the same success.
 
Harzee said:
Constipation, diarrhea, acid reflux, hunger pangs, burning skin sensations, numbness, tingling, couldn't eat, muscle aches and twitches...
Click to expand...
Hi Harzee :) Welcome to the forum. I've had all of those symptoms you list and now believe that I am suffering with TMS...So, I think you're in the right place. I've not long joined this forum and found that it helps to have a good look around the the threads and posts as you will see that people have suffered with a whole myriad of symptoms like we're experiencing. The recovery stories on this forum are good to look at too...I'm reading one of them a day atm to keep me inspired.
 
Yes, too numerous to mention as I've had chronic pain and fatigue and other symptoms for over 20 years now. I read the Sarno books years ago but, because I wasn't one of those who immediately recovered just from reading about TMS, I gave up. Recently though I had Dr James Alexander's book recommended to me by someone https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hidden-Psy...1534265349&sr=8-1&keywords=dr+james+alexander and he puts a lot of emphasis on the brain causing mild hypoxia (oxygen deprivation) to the muscles, which he backs it up with some medical references. As a result of that oxygen deprivation the muscles don't function properly and are liable to muscle tears...This has made more sense to me with regard my own symptoms (because I can push through the pain and do things to a certain extent, but if I have pushed too far I ended up bedridden) so I'm now a believer in the TMS mind/body connection and am doing the work. (Sarno mentioned about oxygen deprivation, but only briefly I believe.)
 
Harzee said:
What type of work are you doing right now?
Click to expand...

I do yoga nidra every day; here's an article about it https://blog.bulletproof.com/yoga-nidra-guided-sleep-meditation/ There are various free videos for yoga nidra on YouTube which all vary, but I use these scripts https://www.soundstrue.com/store/daringtorest/yoganidrameditations (Daring to Rest: Yoga Nidra) which are associated with this book that I'm reading https://www.amazon.co.uk/Daring-Res...coding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=D1SYXTHXV86BAXRPHC1H.

I do Rick Hanson's 'Take in the Good'
.

I also use a meditation bell app on my ipad, which rings at intervals throughout the day to remind me to do some deep breathing and I listen to Dr James Alexander's guided imagery for chronic pain usually once a day, which I downloaded from his website https://www.drjamesalexander-psychologist.com/apps/webstore/products/show/3402664 (Dr James Alexander).

What I'm finding extremely helpful is that whenever I notice that I'm getting anxious or disturbed about something, I repeatedly tell myself 'I am safe'...I discovered that I suffer with underlying feelings of fear (which I wasn't aware of at all until I did the questionnaires in this book https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pain-Free-...1534267927&sr=8-1&keywords=pain+free+for+life).

Last, but not least, I do qigong for anxiety from this book https://www.amazon.co.uk/Qigong-Wor...1534268267&sr=8-1&keywords=qigong+for+anxiety

My advice is to keep having a good look around this forum and see what appeals to you. I'm still experimenting to see what combination feels good for me.
 
You are at the right place. I read Dr. Schubiner’s book ‘unlearn your pain’. That helped me a lot. For me journaling was important for some time. Now it is more important to implement changes in my life. I had pelvic pain/bladder pain on and off for more than 20 years. I also had some back pain and problems with the bowel. All of this is TMS. I am doing much better now. It’s a process, not linear as others also have mentioned. Good luck! And it is possible to get better and heal!
 
Everything Harzee wrote here I have seen in various other sufferers and they have healed. However, they all wanted to heal, but very few do even though they consciously think they do.
 
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