New discovery + question

[sarah2254]

Hello all,

I think I figured out why I experienced excruciating hand pain while typing at my new job last summer. This could not be a structural issue because the pain appeared after only a week on the job. My first job experience was absolutely terrible. My manager bullied me almost on the daily and I could never stick up for myself. I think my subconscious mind has created a negative response to 'new jobs' because of this experience. I have a lot of repressed anger towards this former manager that I never had an outlet for.

Now that I've recognized a potential trigger for my hand pain, what do I do to ensure the pain doesn't come back when applying for new jobs? Do I simply engage in somatic tracking, outcome independence, etc. or is there more to it?

Thanks in advance,
Sara

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Hi Sara,
Congrats on putting the pieces together! So your boss' behavior triggered something in you, something related to fear or not sticking up for yourself, or rage which felt unsafe ---these come to me, but your inquiry will be more attuned.

Since you're understanding the source of the pain, that it is not physical, you're less apt to be fearful of the symptoms. They really don't indicate the need for any treatment outside of TMS type work. So, yes, just knowing this is a huge piece of your treatment. Reminding yourself again and again that this is how it started is probably important.

Then, in the moment, in the now, how are these personality parts feeling, acting out? What about that experience with the boss, and your history, and your personality are still doing their thing moment to moment? You take your learning into the present. Do you still have a hard time sticking up for yourself? Do you bully yourself? Do you live in fear because it feels you need to, or it is normal? ----this kind of inquiry.

The more clear you are about your feelings, the fears in the new job, the way you treat yourself, etc., the more you will find a way to be more clear, more aligned with your own needs. So some kind of outer adjustment in relationships might be called for. You'll know this more easily, and for instance maybe you'll be more apt to stand up for yourself, or avoid a certain flavor of relationship.

So there are some ideas in addition to the important basics you outline.

Andy