Day 4 Negative experiences with doctors :(

[Homestead Hermit]

What was the most disheartening thing a doctor has told you about your symptoms? In what ways have you kept that in your mind?

Since the doctors couldn't figure out a cause to my stomach ailments, they sent me to a psychologist to see if that had any roots. (these were military doctors, so I'm not sure how high-quality they were).

The first said my problem was I didn't have "enough" friends. Which is funny because I had a much larger social circle then than I do now and had a very active social life. But that comment has stuck with me as I've aged and discovered I am an introvert and don't need as much social interacting as "everyone else." (I still catch myself telling myself I am not normal because I am not an extrovert and don't have as many friends as others). Maybe that's a big part of why I have insecurities as an introvert, because this comment consistently repeats in my mind when I am feeling lonely and alone in the world

The second psychologist hardly said anything as he jotted down notes and pulled down books. He finally said "From what the textbooks say you are a classic case of manic depression." No kind words, the man wouldn't look me in the eye, wrote off a prescription, and off he went.

When I received my diagnosis the doctor announced it in this way: "Oh, you just have IBS." To me, there was nothing just about my situation! I'd been to the emergency room more days than none, missed more days of work than I could count, in constant pain and no idea WHY I was in that pain, not able to enjoy activities or people because I was either so nauseated or had to find a restroom quick, the list goes on.

I suppose what I've wanted most over the years from doctors is empathy, a kind word, to feel as if I'm not alone or crazy. And I've felt alone and crazy until now after finding this path to healing. Nothing about doctor visits has ever felt comfortable, I've never found the human connection, so I'd given up going to doctors by so many bad, fearful experiences.

 

[MSZ812]

Thanks for the personal and honest post! Many doctors lack a good "bedside manner". When empathy is lacking, it's hard to share your pain and concern. I've noticed much better care from Physicians Assisants, maybe because their work is being reviewed more closely.

I'm also an introvert, but it's close to 50% how I'm wired and 50% my life experiences. I have a few very close friends, but have trouble making new acquaintances. I'm more fun to be around when I've had a couple drinks in me, which is probably common for introverts. There shouldn't be any shame in being introverted, or extroverted for that matter. As I've grown, I've realized that having a couple really close friends is all you need in terms of a social life. It's nice to meet new people and have new interactions, but not at all necessary to live a rewarding life.

Is there somebody in your life that you can have these types of conversations with?

- Matt

 

[Homestead Hermit]

@MSZ812 Yes, I have a few close people in my life...problem is all of them (except for my husband) are long-distance I make an effort to meet people and meet regularly and have had some success, but it seems (especially as a childless housewife who lives far from town) many aren't able to fit me into their busy city lives due to children, career, etc.

I'm at the point now where I want to accept myself as I am, that I have different needs and desires from what is considered the mainstream "normal." But I still find it challenging and my brain will revert back to negative thinking (I'll write up a separate post about that).

As I've grown, I've realized that having a couple really close friends is all you need in terms of a social life. It's nice to meet new people and have new interactions, but not at all necessary to live a rewarding life.

This advice has really helped I don't have to live my life like everyone else. I just have to live my life the way that suits me best Thank you!