Day 10 Need help

[Bob]

I am doing my journal on my iPad instead of writing it down does this make a difference, I ask because In the last ten years I have had many traumatic events that I know now I have repressed and is causing my siatcia but when I type my journal I don’t feel the emotions are as strong as they should and I’m worried that I will not be healing...... I hope this makes sense and is not a silly question

 

[georgethee]

Hi Bob - I wrote my journals on my computer in a password protected Word document. Sometimes when driving or just daydreaming I got a thought and wrote it on a napkin. An iPad is even better you can carry that thing with you anywhere. Write without hesitation it doens't have to be pretty or makes sense to others. I start journaling about WHAT was making me angry or upset. Later I found journaling about the 'WHY' was giving me much better results. Goodluck in your journey.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Great advise from georgethee, in my opinion.

Also Bob, while it is admirable to want to feel more, you might start with really being with what you are feeling as you journal. Gently bring your attention into the body and notice, even if there is not much to "notice." This practice will help you become more attuned. In the meantime, a lot of Dr. Sarno's work can be very effective even if it seems to stay on the surface. Also, the more surface practice, as best you can, will take you deeper in time... You're making it clear to deeper layers of yourself that you are willing to feel more, and that the symptoms are not needed to distract you.

Andy B

 

[Aziz]

I've gone back and forth between a password protected file in my Notes (across devices) and a good old fashion pen and paper journal. I can't say I notice much difference in how much I feel during one or the other.

I like Andy's advice - being curious about what your actual experience is rather than what you imagine it "should" be.

I know for me I can have this impatience that manifests as: "Ok, I'm going to dig and dig and purge out all these demons and feel all this intense stuff NOW so the pain goes away immediately... as in by the time I'm done with this journaling session."

Haha, that one is obviously a bit of a setup for frustration (can anyone say perfectionist!).

For me I am seeing again and again, how patience is a HUGE part of this process.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

"Ok, I'm going to dig and dig and purge out all these demons and feel all this intense stuff NOW so the pain goes away immediately... as in by the time I'm done with this journaling session."

Hi Aziz,
Seeing your experience of impatience and pushing yourself to achieve _____ is a great hint at how our personalities are pressurizing our Inner Child much of the time. We have so many opportunities to see that "who we take ourselves to be" might have stressful impacts down deep, which want to be distracted from. Even if we act from very honorable motivations, we tend to push ourselves! So we might see much of the root of our "Tension."
Andy B