• Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this updated link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/
  • Welcome to the new TMS Wiki server! Things aren't finished yet: email is not set up, so notification and password-reset emails don't go out, and new registrations are paused until email is installed. Details and updates are in this thread (click here). Locked out? Email tmswikisignups@gmail.com from the address where you receive TMS Wiki notifications.

Narcism and Low Self Esteem.

C

Carnage

Newcomer
This is something that really stood out of me from Dr Sarno's book. I feel that I have both narcissism and low self esteem. On one hand I know I have low self esteem thru out my daily social life, I always feel inadequate, not up to par etc. On the other hand I feel like a Narcissist in my home life, I have no responsibilities like Im some king and get annoyed very easily of those closest to me. I was aware of these feelings even before TMS. I feel bad for the way of treat my closest ones, I feel like they deserve much better, not just in the way I treat them but overall in what I provide to them in terms of finances. So Im treating them badly but at the same time I want to make them proud thru money or career/academic achievements. I do feel that I have some bitterness towards my family for somethings that happen when I was younger but overall I know they been great and have loved me. My personal life is just really low at the moment as well, I don't feel like Im worthy of anybody, also unlike my home life, in my Social life/Work life Im very polite, I don't show much emotions. All of this I think creates lots of tension thats manifest itself into TMS.

Anybody have any tips on this?
 
You don't sound like a bad guy. You are obviously sensitive to your feelings and dealings with your parents and others.
In friendships, its a gift if they like you or you like them. I have some great friends but also some I avoid.

I no longer expect to be admired for my achievements. I write books but my parents and siblings never were interested enough to read them, nor did few of my friends, even my best friends. I've learned that they love me for myself, not for money (which i don't have) or that I have had books published. I think they are wasting their lives in meaningless jobs, but don't hold it against them.
I like them for themselves.

So go easy on yourself. Liking yourself doesn't necessarily mean you're narcisistic.
 
If you read the first few chapters of Healing Back Pain, you'll notice that Dr Sarno believes that narcissism and low self-esteem are intimately linked and are really two sides of the same coin. Very characteristic of our Western consumer culture with its emphasis on the individual where people are trying desperately to over-achieve based on a poor self-image passed along to them by their parents, in particular, their fathers.
 
Last edited:
The audiobook version of HBP made that section stand out even more so!
I found it to apply to me also but it seems so illogical!
 
sadly I'm not really, I used to be into Fantasy novels by Ursula LeGuin before I read Tolkein and Pratchett. Liked English literature at school but my interests lay elsewhere!
Now I tend to read more on health, nutrition and scientific topics
 
Hi Carnage,

It seems like you know yourself pretty well. That is big right there. If I were you, I would link your behaviors and insights with Dr. Sarno's explanations of how TMS works. You have a needy child inside that wants everything your way. You feel like you are not enough. You say you understand how these are correlated with TMS. Inquire and educate yourself about why this is so! What is the experience of the Inner Child that is so threatening to not "want to be felt?"

In my experience, you can get pretty far treating TMS with just observing how your Inner Child would feel, and connecting this to symptoms. You don't need to change who you are, so much as be very clear how you are creating symptoms, and the symptoms subside. Good luck!

Andy B.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top