My next steps mentally

[Pingman]

I have been suffering with ball of foot pain as well as some slight sensitivity in my toes now for around 3 months. I know that it all started during a period of high anxiety over some residual issues from my lung surgery in December.

When it all began in February, it was similar to what I had felt 2 years ago during an episode of TMS around leg pain. I didn't pay it any attention as I was focused on my leg and eye issues and it went away.

This time around it is all I have to think about so I googled which was dumb and went to two podiatrist which were scams. Once said a Neuroma and gave me expensive shots and the second claimed nerve damage from antibiotics during my surgery.

I have checked my feet everyday, multiple times during the day and the issues come and go. For 3-4 days I will have very little issue and then for a couple days it will be very painful after waking for awhile. Then go away that same day. My lung doctor said he has seen nerve damage from antibiotics and typically it doesn't come two months after stopping medication and does't move around and hurt worse in one spot one day and the other the next.

I want to believe its TMS but its so hard because a week ago I had minimal pain and for the last 4 days its been worse. yesterday the ball of my foot hurt when I walked awhile but today my big toes feel sensitive.

I can't figure out if my mind if just playing tricks on me and making something hurt one day and not the next.

I just can't seem to flip my mind that last 5% I need to be a 100% believer which I did the last time with TMS.

At church yesterday I was so angry in the beginning and then it turned to sadness later on. Am I depressed? Yes, I think I am but I believe it only stems from my constant evaluation and pain coming from my feet. I don't think I have any repressed emotions.

What advice for next steps would you give to me. If it is psychological, how do i get my mind to stop focusing on the pain with each step when it feels so real and mimics the symptoms of nerve damage I know in my head from google.

Thanks

 

[Ryan]

Hang in there buddy, you got to stop focusing on the body. Stop looking for the repressed emotions, just know they are there and get on with life.

If you have pain, then repressed emotions exists. "If one is preoccupied with the body/symptoms they will persists". John Sarno.

Look at your relationships, even your close ones. Those are the most loaded, including the one with yourself. Try to look at each set back as a opportunity to overcome the tms. Once you fall in the OCD habit, the tms beast is doing its plan. Obsession is fear, just stand up to it and know what its doing and move on with life.

You got this. Tms people are special people with there bodies telling them to listen. Sarno even said these people are to good at coping with life. Let go, have fun. Life is a special gift to us all. We are what we believe

Ryan

 

[Gigi]

Oh I can so relate! I had a 2year period when I saw a myriad of podiatrists, surgeons, for horrible foot pain. At one point I w as even in a wheelchair. At least I never let them operate; what they were proposing didn't make sense from an engineering standpoint... Bottom line, it was TMS. And today that pain is gone!
I know it's difficult, but f necessary, make a list of things to occupy your mind, so you do NOT focus on the foot pain.
Blessings on your journey.

 

[Pingman]

Thanks Ryan and Gigi.

I spent some time evaluating my relationships and found something. Not one person in my life is meeting the expectations I have set for each of them. I do everything big when I do it. I am passionate about my hobbies, if I have a get together at my house I make sure that people will have an awesome array of drinks and food and comfort. Most guys when they go hunting just roll out of bed and slog to their hunting site. I get up and make coffee for the thermos, pack my dad and brother hand warmers and stop and get them breakfast. When we go camping I bring the camp stove and cook a full breakfast of eggs and sausage and pancakes where my father in law will just bring us pop tarts.

My wife does't talk about her feelings and doesn't listen to mine. She is a great wife but she is medicated for anxiety and I feel it just numbs her out and irritates me. My brother is a nice guy but he places women ahead of his family. My dad has little interest in my son and is very old school. He finds going to a ball game boring or talking to me about hunting boring. He only likes to talk about what he has going on and doesn't like to listen so I end up just listening to him.

The political situation in america bothers me as well, I am sick of being attacked in the media as a christian.

As I have gotten older and experienced more responsibility, my eyes have opened and I just am not the happy go lucky guy I was 10 years ago. I am unsure how to get back there and now this dang TMS is here it has added to my anxiety and stress and made me even more grouchy.

Maybe I do have something repressed....ugh

 

[gitch]

I'm seeing a few issues surfacing already. Perfectionism, a pessimistic mindset, and anxiety are all in the mix, but from where do they originate I wonder. Perhaps the biggest issue I see is perfectionism. You said yourself that you have expectations you've set for everyone, and nobody is living up to them. This sounds like a textbook case of projection, where perhaps you're disappointed with yourself so are living your life vicariously through everyone else? They aren't living up to your expectations, so you get disheartened, but actually it's not them you're disappointed in, deep down, maybe its yourself?

I know Dr. Sarno says it's not about fixing the issues and that it's more just about acknowledging that the repressed emotions exist, but personally I can't see how you can have one without the other. Just my two cents