Day 1 My first step of starting SEP . Documenting everything below . Need some suggestions

[GokuGn]

Day 1

Response to Sarno’s Video :-

1. I feel hopefull after watching the video. Even though there’s still some kind of doubt, listening to Collins, Jeanie etc & reading the comments on the video I feel hopefull.


2. Could relate to the traits of keeping others happy & perfectionism. How it puts pressure on the brain & how its distracting me from the main problem.


3. Sometimes he would feel a tinge in the back but this time instead of observing or feeling for it he just says to himself “It is just a twinge and it will go after a while like it usually does”

Success Story BaseBall 65’s Story
→ Inspite of having so many diagnoses on his scan he could still recover and get back to his life completly.

→ I don’t even have any diagnosis like BaseBall65 has. Just some bulging discs which are normal part of ageing. I can absolutely heal.

→ Whenever I have doubt I will go through The Way Out / Healing Back Pain and reapply those principles.

“Insipite of the dire warnings / diagnoses. I now do whatever I want. Absolutely, positively No Pain”.

My thoughts

After my SPECT scan, 4 MRI’s, Nerve Conduction studies etc found nothing. This was the first evidence that I just have TMS/ Neuroplastic pains.

→ I still for some reason dont have 100% faith. But I’d say I have 70–80% belief that its just TMS. Because of the following reasons :

(i) My first episode of back pain started out of nowhere.

(ii) Inspite of no nerve compression, I have tingling which shifts from left to right leg. Another evidence.

(iii) I can sometimes exercise without difficulty but sitting just triggers my pains which does not make any logical sense.

(iv) I can relate to the traits of being a perfectionist / goodist.

Doubts / Worries :-

(i) Whenever I have a flare up / increase in pain my belief in TMS goes from 80% to 30 (or) 40%, as the pains feel so real.

(ii) There’s still some small doubt regarding trusting the process.

Question to Ponder :-

(i) Moving freely playing the sport I like, lifting heavy weights, sitting at my desk for hours without having to worry about aggravating my back pains. & going on trips with my family & friends.

 

[Joulegirl]

You've got this! You do not have to have 100% belief in the beginning to start this program. Just give yourself grace and don't try to be a perfectionist as you go through this program.

 

[GokuGn]

You've got this! You do not have to have 100% belief in the beginning to start this program. Just give yourself grace and don't try to be a perfectionist as you go through this program.

But subconsciously I'm repating the pattern of perfectionism? How do I break free from that?

If I workout I want to do it intensely
If I sit and study I want to be able to sir for 7 hours a day
And when I can't accomplish them I feel guilty so I'm wondering how do I break this habit ?

 

[JanAtheCPA]

how do I break this habit ?

You calm down and learn patience, and accept that this will take time.

Do the work.

You will not accomplish your goals until you do the psychological emotional work. The SEP is designed to help you do this work.

If you spend all of your time and energy desperately focused on your desired outcome/results/goal, you will fail. I guarantee it.

Wallowing in desperation will result in failure. I also guarantee that.

Your first job is to CALM DOWN, and I can tell that this task will not be easy for you. You have to do this even though your TMS brain will fight you every step of the way.

 

[Diana-M]

And when I can't accomplish them I feel guilty so I'm wondering how do I break this habit ?

It was really hard for me to fight perfectionism. It still is! But you get better with practice. Just let go, live with doing less, and get used to the uncomfortable feeling of it. After a while it subsides. I talk to myself and say— “you are too extreme. Calm down with these hardcore unreasonable goals!” I also recognize that my Dad taught me to always set unreasonable goals, and based his love and praise on achievement—so I learned it early. And now I see how awful that was for me. And I don’t want to perpetuate that cruelty on myself.